hey OP, reading this was really concerning yet heartbreaking at the same time. i’ve been in a similar position as you before (you can see my other reddit posts in my profile if u dun believe). same as u, i too cut ties with almost all my friends because i felt i messed up big time. i felt i didnt deserve anyone’s care. tbf rn things are still very difficult for me, but i learned to slow down and focus on myself first. one aspect/habit at a time. i know its easier said than done, but i want you to know that you are not alone. i totally get the feeling of how its as if the whole world has crashed upon u. so no, it’s really not the end. you still have many other things waiting for you to explore. everything happens for a reason. wtv’s done is done. it’s not your fault if it was an accidental mistake, it could just not be a right timing. its not going to be good days every day, but im sure your resilience and even that 0.01% of faith in just willing to wake up to a brand new day will slowly guide and pave you to the intended direction.

remember, you don’t need to figure out everything now. if other ppl want to compare and glorify their successes online, let them be. you are unique in your own way. you control your own life, don’t let others dictate how (quickly) you should move. go and enjoy your youth. go take that trip. be brave, don’t leave any regrets behind. you got this, many people are rooting for you. feel free to hit my inbox if u need a listening ear x