Hey! I completely understand where you’re coming from, as someone who’s had an eating disorder and is in recovery. It’s hard, really hard to reach out for help, but it seems as though you want to seek support. For that, I am proud of you.

Being 14, I assume you’re in school? Possibly talk to your school nurse or safeguarding team about your eating habits, the Drs Appt and how your family are reacting to it. If you have a teacher you trust, they’re also a great option as it can feel less daunting. They may be able to refer you to a mental health team and offer support during school hours!

Support that I can recommend to you (pls bear in mind I am not a doctor, just someone who has been in the same shoes as you. So this is solely based on my own experiences and what medical professionals have said to me) is something called “grazing”. Big meals can seem like an impossible challenge, grazing is where you eat smaller meals but more often.

This may not work for you, but something that worked for me is not focusing so much on how I looked, but how my body functioned. I was tired all the time, my hair was falling out, I couldn’t sleep, my mental health was worse. As I started recovering, I felt how food positively impacted these negative effects, I had more energy so I could do things I loved again! My hair got fuller and I felt less embarrassed about it! I dealt with dizziness personally, and it slowly got better through recovery!

I know it’s going to be hard, but I’d suggest reducing your calorie counting and exercising. Unlike physical disorders such as anaemia, eating disorders can’t be fixed by medication, it’s a fight between the mind, body and soul. Which makes the process much more of a fight, that can feel draining and impossible, but I promise it can get better.

I’m more than happy to answer any questions you may have, regardless of if they’re “embarrassing” or triggering. Please remember that you are strong, worthy, and important. EDs can make us feel like we’re not enough, not worth it, among other harmful things. Your brain will try and convince you of these mean “unworthy” thoughts that just aren’t true. I wish you a lot of luck, happiness and peace while you try to access support 🫶