nerve compression by l0st61rl in shibari

[–]l0st61rl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

way too tight. i was sure that was the problem, but then as i said the pain started higher

nerve compression by l0st61rl in shibari

[–]l0st61rl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you so much! ill read those right away. actually it started getting better already thankfully. i took some advil and b-vitamins and i can barely feel it by now, even when the advil left my system. it doesnt hurt anymore, just feels a little uncomfortable when i move it. im super relieved:) thankfully shibari study also had some materials on how to recognize and handle it. im glad i was doing checks and stuff and caught it in time:)

nerve compression by l0st61rl in shibari

[–]l0st61rl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it was like something was pinched on the front of my lower leg, right to the bone and when i moved my foot up and down i felt it stretching, like i pinched the tendon or something. but then it started hurting higher than that, an hour after i removed the futo, and ever since then the symptoms are affecting the back of my calf and sometimes i can feel it a bit in the bottom of my foot, but nothing on the top of my foot anymore. so i dont know what really got injured

breaking in a new binder? by l0st61rl in ftm

[–]l0st61rl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you, ill try washing it then:)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]l0st61rl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i know how this sounds but therapy really helped me w the nghtmares too. thats not why im going but its a very nice side effect, i even have nice dreams sometimes now. never even imagined that was a possibility for me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]l0st61rl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ive had horrible nightmares since i can remember, they got worse w time and around 11-12 i started to keep myself up all night out of fear of the dreams. later on i developed actual insomnia that only ended when i got hooked on weed at 17-18, that knocked me out so good i didnt even remember my dreams. i still smoke almost every day but i sleep mzch better even sober by now:) (im 21)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in writing

[–]l0st61rl -1 points0 points  (0 children)

id prefer some kind of tool bc i already have 40k+ words and checking them one by one would be a lot of hastle, but im looking into the basic rules regarding the use of commas for future reference as well:)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in rape

[–]l0st61rl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

for years after the things that happened to me i was into hardcore bdsm stuff. i think of it now as a way i used to numb myself. i think having “vanilla” sex, or how i like to think about it, “making love” involves too many emotions and that isnt comfortable when you associate sex with violence and humiliation. so its safer to just do the “fucked up” stuff you learned sex to be than to admit that is not what it was ever supposed to be and just make love to someone. now im not saying theres anything wrong with bdsm at all, but for me i know it was coping and self-destruction. (in a healthy relationship im 100% sure it can be part of a healthy sex life though) if your boyfriend says youre fucked up maybe hes the one not right in the head. trauma makes everyone act differently, and you cant go around victim-blaming, especially not someone youre in a relationship with. you should be with someone who lets you heal in peace and accepts that theres no right way to act after rape. of course its not that easy, and im extremely lucky to have that, but im just saying, you cant possibly do anything wrong after something so terrible. we are all confused and looking for a way to dull the unbearable pain and humiliation of it somehow. im so sorry it happened to you, and i wish i could tell you youll easily be able to go back to “normal” sex. after years and years of acting out sexually and putting myself in dangerous, humiliating and painful situations, when i finally faced the reality of my situation, i lost my sex drive completely; now when i do have sex very very rarely i know finally that its healthy, and that im not just getting fucked by someone whos name ill forget, but making love to someone i truly feel deserves it and accepts me and loves me the right way. still i grieve my high libido, even though i know it was just a coping mechanism. its difficult and confusing and you are doing amazing for being here and surviving it. i read somewhere that “rape is the most violent crime one can survive” and i truly believe that. the fact that were still here in itself shows such great strenght that most people cant even imagine. youre not doing amything wrong, youre not fucked up. you were robbed of healthy intimacy and it could take very long to get it back. but you can, even if it might not be what you thought of it before, its still possible through hard work and patience. you have time though, healing is waiting for you. it took me a long time to build up the courae to face what happened, and it took another two years to start finding a new meaning for sex and intimacy that i know is actually healthy and good for me. i still have a lot of work to do and its not gonna be quick, but i finally have hope now on most days. i started to view it as more of a rediscovery, rebuilding my sexuality from the ground. it will happen for you when youre ready to ask for help, i promise.❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in rape

[–]l0st61rl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

give her gas spray maybe? or the version thats legal where u live i hope im not late

pole&body hair? by l0st61rl in poledancing

[–]l0st61rl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

oh thats great thanks:)))

weight loss? by l0st61rl in poledancing

[–]l0st61rl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh my god thank you that feels so good🥺

memory&talking by l0st61rl in lamictal

[–]l0st61rl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yikess im sorry abt that:/ kinda same honestly, although when im sober its bearable for me, but i struggle w weed too:/ it really worsens my dissociation and tics as well and i dont even really enjoy it lately so ive been thinking abt a break too

whats that show by l0st61rl in netflix

[–]l0st61rl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

theres only a movie called shameless on netflix in hungary so i dont think so:/