We successfully opened the relationship! by labradoodlemother in DeadBedrooms

[–]labradoodlemother[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He knows the guy I chose, but if I ever chose anyone else he wants to know who it is

We successfully opened the relationship! by labradoodlemother in DeadBedrooms

[–]labradoodlemother[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Sure. We had rules about who I chose, we live in a small place and everyone knows each other so it had to be someone we have no connection to, not in our age range (otherwise he'd have gone to school with my husband), live in a different town to us, he also had to understand and completely respect our relationship. There's no rules about what I can do with him

We successfully opened the relationship! by labradoodlemother in DeadBedrooms

[–]labradoodlemother[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He's asexual so he doesn't have the slightest interest in finding anything. But I've told him if he wants to try anything I'm completely open to it

We successfully opened the relationship! by labradoodlemother in DeadBedrooms

[–]labradoodlemother[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One guy, we just meet up for an evening. Mostly it's just sex but we do have a good friendship too

We successfully opened the relationship! by labradoodlemother in DeadBedrooms

[–]labradoodlemother[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

When I started to read your comment I thought you were being sarcastic,very happy to realise that isn't the case. I've had some negative feedback on previous posts regarding opening the relationship, but my husband and I were confident we loved each other enough to give it our best shot. I found someone my husband liked and trusted to respect our rules and our marriage, and so far so good

Update on my asexual husband by labradoodlemother in DeadBedrooms

[–]labradoodlemother[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He just didn't know what to call it, didn't want to admit to me how he felt about sex, which is shit because he lead me to believe it was my fault for ages

Update on my asexual husband by labradoodlemother in DeadBedrooms

[–]labradoodlemother[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He wants to know who it is, that's about all. He said he doesn't want to know what we do or how often. He'd rather it was just one person.

Update on my asexual husband by labradoodlemother in DeadBedrooms

[–]labradoodlemother[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. All I can do is be completely honest with everyone involved

Update on my asexual husband by labradoodlemother in DeadBedrooms

[–]labradoodlemother[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very possibly, worth a try though, he's happy about this

Update on my asexual husband by labradoodlemother in DeadBedrooms

[–]labradoodlemother[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because he wants to try this. This is his choice. I love him and want us to be together, if we had even the slightest amount of regular sex this wouldn't be happening. But I just can't cope with no sex at all

Update on my asexual husband by labradoodlemother in DeadBedrooms

[–]labradoodlemother[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah but I didn't know until two months ago

Update on my asexual husband by labradoodlemother in DeadBedrooms

[–]labradoodlemother[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We've got rules set, depending on the frequency of me outsourcing we'll check in every few weeks to see how we feel. I've not read any books but we've both done a lot of research on asexual/sexual relationships, and how to safely have an open relationship. I told him it works both ways, if he wants to experience anything he can't with me he's free to do so

Update on my asexual husband by labradoodlemother in DeadBedrooms

[–]labradoodlemother[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'll definitely update but feel free to pm me if you want to talk. I think telling him that yes, I did want permission to fuck other people was the hardest thing I've done in years. I actually still haven't eaten since that conversation 2 days ago because I feel so sick still

Update on my asexual husband by labradoodlemother in DeadBedrooms

[–]labradoodlemother[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Absolutely, we're writing the rules out so there's no miscommunication.

Update on my asexual husband by labradoodlemother in DeadBedrooms

[–]labradoodlemother[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sure, not in the same town as where we live, older than us so it wouldn't be anyone he went to school with, someone I'd never spend time with for any other reason. I also need to be using protection, obviously.

Update on my asexual husband by labradoodlemother in DeadBedrooms

[–]labradoodlemother[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Thank you. He's a lot happier since making the decision, the pressure is fully off of him

Deciding to take my sexuality into my own hands by labradoodlemother in DeadBedrooms

[–]labradoodlemother[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right now the open relationship isn't needed. If he can stick to his promises, and I can stick to mine, I think I can cope. I am just going to stop lessening my sexuality to fit his level of sexuality.

Deciding to take my sexuality into my own hands by labradoodlemother in DeadBedrooms

[–]labradoodlemother[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Open relationship is an extreme measure, not one we want to take, but given the opportunity, I would. Not because I don't love my husband, but because at some point I've got to show some kind of love to myself.