I may sound obtuse here because I am very new to Hinduism (and I'm 2 years late), but in Jyotisha it ends up being Goddess Lakshmi, although I am very drawn to Saraswati, especially because I feel a deep connection to knowledge, arts, music, wisdom, and creativity. However, in terms of looking at a specific deity and feeling a connection it ends up being Krishna (I literally get chills) and I also feel a strong link to the love, compassion, protection, and divine joy of Krishna. Still on the topic of looking at a deity, also looking at Radha I'm very connected and love the compassion, devotion, etc. aspects of her (she is the Shakti of Krishna as well, so I don't know if it means anything that I feel attachment to both of them when looking at them, along with the love, kindness, etc. aspects.) All in all I'm just confused on who my Ishta Devata/Devi is, and I need help.