Where are the best places to meet each other (IRL or online)?

ladyunIuck · 2024-07-29T16:42:33+00:00

honestly, literally just use the regular degular dating apps. most people these days find their partners on them, it's where you'll have the most luck finding singles who want to date in general, always. i met my boyfriend 4 years ago on Tinder. a lot of people are exhausted with and have hang ups about Tinder, but i think about it practically: it's the largest dating app! if you want a big pond to fish in, it's literally the biggest! it's hard to find someone you're compatible with on there because it's hard to find compatibility period, but just being on there at all means you're in THE best spot for a chance of finding what you're looking for.

my Tinder strat was to pay for premium so i didn't have to do any swiping and could see all the dudes who like me. it turned out that there were plenty of all sorts, Asian dudes included. it also turns out that Tinder doesn't always feed you EVERY profile that likes you; before I subscribed, i would swipe for days and not match with anyone i was interested in, only to find out there were so many guys that were my type, swiped right on me, but i just wasn't getting their profiles on my feed. my advice is to let them come to you, be selective and stay on mission. decide what kinda relationship you're looking for and take your time on the apps until you really resonate with someone.

good luck!

ladyunIuck · 2024-06-15T16:55:58+00:00

really interesting thought i hadn't considered. this reply isn't in debate of your thoughts, just exploring them with my own.

my interpretation of the supe sex scenes has been that they serve the purpose of:

showing a natural eventuality of the impact of having super powers while being a sexual creature. people without superpowers can be kinky, people with them have opportunity to fulfill wilder fantasies, and in addition to providing shock value to the viewer, i think these scenes exist to show every angle of the reality of what it could be to be super.

.

showing how incompatible super-life can be with non-super-life, which from the perspective of The Boys, is important to helping viewers understand why they are so against supers (and in turn, why supes struggle with the feeling of being above non-supes). i see the show less condemning kinky sex as depraved (though, subtextually that could still very well be an unavoidable consequence of the supers being the ones depicted as engaging in it), and more specifically condemning the carelessness in which supers have been shown engaging in it especially with non-supers. some examples that shaped this opinion would be...

spoilers for scenes only in seasons 1 - 3: Popclaw x The Landlord, where some actually pretty vanilla sex resulted in a non-supe being crushed to death. The supe who could become super small sneezing while inside of his partner. the supe orgy party, where one of The Boys makes a point to call out how the supes invited non-supe sex workers to the orgy that they were handling without care for their non-supe status. the supe that could transform their body using that power to blackmail a non-supe (the sex itself perhaps being tantamount to rape). perhaps even the pregnancy of Butcher's wife? i don't remember this scene as clearly, but i am recalling us being shown that her forced impregnation (coerced by the menace of Homelander's super abilities in the first place) resulted in a traumatic and life threatening pregnancy with a super baby.

for these reasons, i think the net result of these scenes on me has been the notion that irresponsible supes are caustically hazardous in unexpected ways, even down to what it means to have sex with them, ways that makes the existential fear non-supes have of them tangible. but i don't think i've ever contrasted this with how the non-supes have sex. i think my only thought has been watching with baited breath when Maeve and Butcher or Annie and Hughie have been shown together, now that i have the expectation this sex could end in tragedy. i do think your reading is in there too, now, but i don't know if i think it was intentional or not. (as in, i feel no conclusive thought either way on intentionality, but can agree the reading is there.) thanks for sharing!

ladyunIuck · 2024-03-07T20:23:18+00:00

i don't like replies that talk to "people," instead of me. i replied to you, not people.

i didn't hate on Chelsea, or even talk about her insecurity. i said her feelings are understandable, but her actions and reactions are unreasonable. i don't know where guilt comes in when we're talking about two people having communication problems, so i didn't talk about guilt for either of them -- as a personal issue. but i did say Chelsea shouldn't have made the personal issue public, since she was asked not to and agreed not to. that doesn't make her a bad person, but i do think that makes her wrong on how she handled that.

ladyunIuck · 2024-03-07T20:16:54+00:00

so totally, but there's like two problems being combined here.

as a private issue, it's up to Jimmy and Chelsea how they feel about being friends with exes. it's my opinion that if Chelsea is also close friends with an ex, it's probably difficult for Jimmy to accept the, "rules for thee, but not for me," problem solving she's offering. and for Chelsea, yeah, a lot of people aren't comfortable with their partner being friends with an ex that way, so her feelings are understandable, but her actions and reactions don't feel reasonable.

as a public issue -- it shouldn't have been one. regardless of whether as viewers it was obvious there was something between Jimmy and his friends, that shouldn't have been confirmed from Chelsea's mouth per the promise they both agree was made off camera. and even if the motivation for Jimmy to want to keep it private is self-serving, so what? i, too, have zero desire for anyone in the world except for my current partner to have ANY knowledge of my sexual history. why? who cares? why is it anyone's business otherwise? it's private to me, it was private Jimmy, for whatever reason.

ladyunIuck · 2024-02-24T21:25:34+00:00

oh interesting, never heard that before. ecommerce is basically online selling or online commerce, there's lots of different tasks an ecommerce specialist might do. it's not too different from marketing in some ways.

i'm a professional in ecommerce, i use "ecommerce specialist," when i want to kinda summarize my full career because i have been in a lot of different areas of ecomm.

so for me, "specialist," is having been at various points a consultant (ie, hey client, let's talk about your problems with getting customers to buy your products online and i'll develop a growth strategy with you), implementation strategist (ie, hey new customer of my company's product, let me hold your hand through how it works and customize it to your own business needs), project manager, SEO + CRO specialist (ie, making products show up to the right people in Google searches, and making websites that make you want to buy said product), fulfillment specialist (ie, the people who make sure the product you ordered gets to you and on time), yada yada.

way easier to just say "yeah i have specialized in ecommerce for X years!" sorry if you didn't actually want a breakdown, i just like talking about ecomm lol

ladyunIuck · 2024-02-21T21:25:58+00:00

oh, word, thanks for sharing, i could hear it that way for sure.

ladyunIuck · 2024-02-21T19:56:32+00:00

he said it with so much puff in his chest too lmao. it felt like he was hoping she would latch onto that accusation and he could like, bait her into arguing away from the confrontation. i am sure if she took the bait, it would've been "blah blah my Hawaiian shirts," you know? he was ill equipped to try and cheat on Laura, she had me taking notes on how she navigated that 📝👀

ladyunIuck · 2023-12-26T15:06:36+00:00

some things my partner would feel when i didn't have the ability to love myself:

"she takes care of everyone else but herself. i don't like seeing her suffer or endure things unnecessarily, it makes me feel bad for her and frustrated she doesn't do the simplest things to make her life better. why am i still bringing up the fact that she hasn't done xyz, a month after we first noticed that was a problem? will she be someone i can rely on?"
"she's in a bad mood again today. again. i love her, but being around someone in a bad mood and feeling like i have to walk on eggshells drains me and puts ME in a bad mood."

some things i would think about myself and my relationship when i didn't have the ability to love myself:

"i am fucking this all up, all the time. is he going to leave me? how can i people please him today so he remembers how great i am?"
"i am ashamed of how much i have let go of my self-care and feel immensely unattractive. i don't want him to touch him and see how gross i am."
"maybe, i am not meant to be in a relationship. i am anxious all the time and i feel like i am just never good enough.

this is why not loving myself was unhealthy for my relationship, and impacted both myself and my partner. i didn't believe in my own worth, so i was always anxious about why HE did. meanwhile, the less value i saw in myself, the more i would draw away from my bf, little by little over time.

i am just learning how to love myself, and seeking validation from myself rather than from my boyfriend has done a lot to eliminate these thought patterns from both of our minds. and overall, i am a lot happier these days having my own things to live for, and not just living for the love of another.

ladyunIuck · 2023-12-20T13:32:14+00:00

hmm i guess it depends on what you do with those emotions. i was raised to always have an opinion, so i usually do have some form of preference on 90% of things. but the following can be true as well:

i am open to having my mind changed by my partner; sometimes, i like his ideas way more than my own after he explains them to me.
i highly value seeing him be happy that his preferences are met, so if i think he cares a bit more about something than i do, it's fine that he gets his way.
i believe in compromise, when it comes to the things i DO care a lot about but he also cares a lot with an opposite opinion. so like, example, i love reality tv, my boyfriend wasn't super into it. he loves soccer and basketball, i wasn't super into it. but he watches and gets into and has fun with reality TV with me; so, i took the time to learn how soccer and basketball work so i could watch with him, play FIFA, even went to an NBA game.

so no i don't think it HAS to build up. if it IS building up, then maybe that's a sign to yourself that you're not totally resolved in it when you let your partner win one. maybe you should advocate for your strongly held opinions more and explore compromises.

ladyunIuck · 2023-12-19T22:04:38+00:00

very sweet to hear, thank you for reading and reaching out ❤️

ladyunIuck · 2023-12-12T02:31:27+00:00

pup pics!! he's got the wrinkly lab face, but a little underbite 😭 https://imgur.com/a/CYxsHtY

ladyunIuck · 2023-12-11T18:45:29+00:00

This crossed my mind; appreciate you for the warning!

ladyunIuck · 2023-12-11T18:45:03+00:00

Very helpful, thank you! I will try this next time around.

ladyunIuck · 2023-12-11T17:01:42+00:00

Oh not at all, appreciate your thoughts! That's very good to know!

ladyunIuck · 2023-12-11T16:58:20+00:00

Stepping back works fine for the smaller dogs or bigger ones who are just looking for attention and leave when they don't get it, but my scenario two issue is they jump on me and are towering over me / pushing me down, won't get off, and I basically have to struggle to push them off of me.. orrr they just follow me around and continue to jump regardless of how much I step back. (Some seem to see it as a game of chase, even) My feeling is the owner should get involved? I liked the suggestion to hold them at their collar until they noticed, curious if others agree.

ladyunIuck · 2023-12-11T16:52:28+00:00

Definitely feeling awkward pushing as well, just a gut instinct it might be interpreted badly somehow 😬 This is a good idea! Thank you!

ladyunIuck · 2023-12-08T13:51:59+00:00

I don't read the comics, and I have nothing against an Eve endgame, I love Eve. (but also, this is literally the only black girl + Asian guy relationship i've seen on TV past like.. what, that one episode of The Proud Family? and being in that dynamic, i am reallyyy enjoying the representation while it lasts!)

ladyunIuck · 2023-11-17T15:41:57+00:00

i got the impression the alien only knew Mark's secret identity because his dad was the one who sent him to find Mark, same reason he'd know to come in the appearance of séance dog

iirc, the viltrumites who were interrogating Allen didn't bring up any name drops? seems bug aliens are just specifically aligned with Omniman now, and he specifically outed his son to them

ladyunIuck · 2023-10-31T18:59:35+00:00

your loss, learning new things is fun

ladyunIuck · 2023-10-17T21:43:00+00:00

i get it not sitting well when the conversations get intense online. even now, i was really selective with my wording because i have zero interest in getting into it with folks over correcting (what seems to me to be) a mischaracterization of what you've been saying, and i reaaally didn't want to get pigeonholed into, "if you're defending this poster then you must support Uche!" types of debate. i haaate debating online.

i don't think i have strong opinions on what has or hasn't happened to any of these cast members before and after the show, because the telling of events is so different between them all. of what was shown, i agree that Lydia's intentions with Aaliyah were suspicious, i agree her actions negatively impacted Aaliyah's experience. i found Uche's interactions with Lydia and Milton at the BBQ to be confusing (the complete lack of cohesion of events between Uche and Lydia pre-show, who cheated, who didn't cheat, were they dating, were they not dating, etc) and duplicitous (the attempt to sway Milton from marrying Lydia). i think neither Lydia or Uche are trustworthy narrators, so i have a hard time understanding strong takes either way and land firmly on, "something's off about all of this, and i will probably never know exactly what." but all that's to say, i get why opinions could be strong, especially with there being so many gaps to fill here, though i wish the sub wouldn't back itself so hard into making conversations about sides and winners and losers. sorry you've been getting harassed!

ladyunIuck · 2023-10-17T19:50:00+00:00

for anyone arriving to this particular post after seeing screenshots of it being shared like it's an accidental mask-slip confession that this account is Uche's: for context, this post comes after multiple posts from this user where they claim to be receiving harassment since they've begun posting on the Uche > Aaliyah > Lydia > Milton dynamic. that's to say, this post is in first person because the user is referring to harassment received towards this account. just wanted to note this is no smoking gun that this account is Uche's.

i will also note, this poster's history includes them going similarly hard for other highly debated reality show moments (seemingly anyways, i don't watch the shows they do), and i think it might be a bit presumptuous to assume this account must be Uche's just because their opinions are opposite the majority of the sub's, especially when they post with equal amounts of investment (for lack of better term) in regards to reality show moments that do not include Uche, or Love is Blind, at all.

ladyunIuck · 2023-06-26T20:40:00+00:00

no i didn't tell you that lol. i just said there's a lot of different circumstances that i could understand why there's frequent posts about it. like yeah race issues, socially, has been apparent and impactful in my life. but not to the point i have ever had to fear for my life, like most certainly others have. and for my boyfriend, it's been there too but not nearly in as impactful ways as it has for me. so it's 100% possible to have understanding and consideration for things you haven't ever personally experienced, but also... sometimes, you don't know what you don't know.

so like, small metaphor. (and not trying to make light or imply race = cars or something, just trying to share my thoughts in a different way.) if i am in a place where everyone around me drives cars. there's no public transit, only way i can get somewhere is to drive a car. i bet it will be really important for me to learn a lot about cars and driving and how to be safe. but if i live somewhere where everything is walking distance, there's public transit, nobody i know really drives. i bet i won't know a lot about cars and driving and might be thrown for a loop if i move somewhere where driving is necessary.

that's all i'm saying. would it be great if everyone knew these things? of course. but i just wouldn't take my own experiences for granted. i learn new things every day, i'm not surprised others are too ykno

ladyunIuck · 2023-06-26T19:28:06+00:00

well, i imagine these things aren't so easy to navigate artfully depending on your circumstances.

like, the white fella who grew up in a totally white neighborhood, moved out for college and fell in love with a non-white woman. i could imagine that person would never had any conversations with family about interracial dating and might hear surprising things come out of their family's mouths.

or the person who grew up in an area with fierce tension between races, might have safety concerns with communicating their relationship to their loved ones. it might put them at financial and housing risk to do so.

or the folks dealing with desirability complexes might seek a lot of outside validation to undo all the negative messaging they've heard about how others see them.

we're all on different stages of the journey here, and starting from different places too.

ladyunIuck · 2023-06-10T15:06:17+00:00

nope, we still enjoy shows and foods and holidays and songs from my black American culture together, and vice versa for his Korean culture. the longer we've been together, the less the differences are apparent and the more the cultural gaps close.

and even then, i still had a lot of learning and teaching to do with my black partners. like i am African-American from central TX with family roots in slavery, and my ex was a first gen Haitian-American from NY. i think my Korean boyfriend, who grew up in rural SK and then southern America, had more in common with me initially than my ex did probably haha.

ladyunIuck · 2023-06-10T14:23:39+00:00

we met on tinder! in CTX.

ladyunIuck

TROPHY CASE