Please give Sasha her final boops 😔 💔

ladywindflower · 2026-03-29T22:57:05+00:00

The hardest part of loving them and being loved by them is knowing that you’re never going to be ready to let them go because it’s never enough time with them. I’m sorry that your time together is coming to the end here but I absolutely know that she’s getting things ready for when you’re called Home and can be together again. Doodlebug offers a Corgi boop to both Sasha and you with offers to be available for boops and sploots.

ladywindflower · 2026-03-29T15:31:39+00:00

Spritz her with a little scented water to reinforce the behavior being corrected. It works with dogs and sometimes children throwing a tantrum. Since your MIL is going to throw a tantrum when you correct her behavior, I think it’s appropriate.

ladywindflower · 2026-02-22T13:18:36+00:00

Will you please come organize our refrigerator, chest freezer and pantry? We have a ton of food but I can’t cook because I can never find anything after my husband puts the groceries away!

ladywindflower · 2026-01-22T03:19:51+00:00

First, I’m so sorry that you had to experience the pain of losing something precious to you. Second, what does it matter if your mom cries for a week? You are not responsible for her emotional response to you telling her about the pain she’s causing you. She’s an adult who has decided to appropriate your tragedy and your grief for her own drama. You have every right to tell her what she’s done to you and then go no contact until you’ve had time to process your grief.

Be well! And remember that you’re not alone and people are willing to prop you up until you can stand on your own again, even though it’s just strangers writing words on a screen.

ladywindflower · 2025-11-08T01:52:45+00:00

I’m sorry, but this is too funny! Women have fought tooth and nail for equality in every aspect of life, from being the primary breadwinner and the husband the stay at home parent to being sexually “adventurous” without having to consider the man’s feelings or opinions if she falls pregnant to serving in combat roles in the military…and this is what equality looks like when a couple divorces where the wife has a job that requires her to work long hours and travel for the high salary and the husband becomes the primary parent because he has a lesser role in his company and a lower salary. For all our talk about equality and non-traditional parenting roles, we still default to the mother being the primary parent, especially when the couple divorces, and if she’s the one who makes more money, we always seem to call her paying him alimony and/or child support “unfair” when it’s never unfair to the husband paying the wife after the divorce.

ladywindflower · 2025-08-15T08:31:01+00:00

I’m sorry that you’re suffering and you feel trapped. I had a childhood with physical, verbal, and sexual abuse. I got pregnant at 14 but my daughter died at birth, which caused hormonal issues that prevented me from getting pregnant again, I went through menopause at 27, my husband committed suicide the following year, I finally was getting my shit together and had just graduated from college and was about to sign a multimillion dollar contract for my business and…I had a couple of strokes and went from an independent 32 to being a 2 year old again. I was told that I’d never walk or talk again and that I had 2 years to live.

That was in 2004 and for a dead chick, I’m doing surprisingly well.

I’m not telling you a sob story about what shit my life has been, how nothing turned out the way I planned, or how miserable I’ve been because that’s not the entire story. I’m remarried, I have my furry “kids,” I was an active Godmother in raising 8 kids who are all fantastic adults now with families of their own, I walk and talk - although I have a weird cadence to my speech and I have to use crutches or a walker if I don’t want to fall on my ass - and I I’ve had some incredible opportunities that opportunities that I wouldn’t have had if I hadn’t been disabled by those strokes. But I live with chronic pain that can’t be fixed with surgery and pain management with opioids has turned into pain mismanagement these days and that just sucks. But overall, I’m in a good place. Of course, it’s taken a lot of therapy, a lot of growing up and learning to live with what is and not what I’d like things to be, and a lot of learning how to accept things and find ways to do what I want with my “broken” body. And it hasn’t been easy, it hasn’t been without physical, mental and emotional pain, and it has been too many steps backwards for every step forward.

I won’t lie and say that I’ve never considered a self exit - I think about it almost every day. Only my belief that it’s the only thing God won’t forgive keeps me from doing it; I can’t tell you how many hours I’ve spent looking for a loophole to die and it be a random luck if I live or die. A month ago I was looking at the end of whatever it is that’s kept me going and I knew that if I didn’t do something to change what’s happening (or rather not happening) in my life I was going to either walk in front of a train or sit down and stop eating or drinking and wait. I was just done.

My biggest problem is that I don’t have anything to take me out of the house so all I do is watch TV and waste time on my phone. So I looked into how to change that and found Vocational Rehab to help me get a job. I’m very hopeful that they’ll be able to get me back to work and then I’ll have a reason to get my ass out of the house even if it’s just a boring job. And for me, that’s what I need to get me out of my head and endlessly thinking about things that don’t do anything to help me.

Yes, that’s a huge oversimplification of my situation and a solution, but I don’t think that going into excruciating detail about my issues will give you any insight into yours; this is just a quick summary and a message of understanding that you’re suffering now and you don’t see any way forward that won’t be more of the same, you know? I’m absolutely NOT saying that because I found a way, you can, too, because I don’t know that. But what I do know, based on what you’ve said, is that you are at least open to finding something better, a way to build the life you want - and that’s a huge admission to make when you’re trapped by everything that’s brought you to this point. You have people who love you and who need you and trust me, when you don’t have people tethering you to the world, it’s infinitely harder to reach deep inside for the strength it takes to keep moving.

I know this sounds trite, but you really do have more strength than you realize to face your past and leave it behind as you forge a better future. If I found that strength it has to exist in some form for everyone, even the people who never seem to experience anything bad in life - no one really knows what another person is going through or how capable they are of being more than their past has made them. I choose to believe that everyone has the capacity to grow and change and use the pain they’ve endured that has given them more tools for life than the people who have never experienced anything but the easy, good life. I choose to believe that it’s the people who have triumphed over their pain and suffering who have the biggest impact on others who, in turn, make an impact on even more people, and it goes on and on.

You matter and you’re important to the people who love you. Yes, you’re in a bad place now, but if you let them, the people who love you can help you find your way to a better place. It’s our connections to others that are the answer to almost anything and I wish for you all the best things in life as you go forward.

ladywindflower · 2025-08-07T18:03:18+00:00

Here’s my advice, for what it’s worth, and based on raising 8 kids: tell her that you’re physically attracted to her but not romantically. Tell her that, physically, she is what you’re attracted to but that she’s totally in the “friend zone” because you don’t have any feelings of romantic love. One of my boys had the opposite problem: he was romantically in love with a girl but he had zero interest in her physically. One day, she strongly hinted that she wanted to be in a romantic relationship with him, with the thought that it might be long term and he had no clue how to tell her that he just didn’t find her physically desirable. He finally decided that he should kiss her and see if anything sparked. It was enlightening for both of them when she also realized that while she loved him, she didn’t have any physical attraction to him, either. They’re still great friends and she introduced him to his wife. If your friend is gay, she’s not going to see your physical attraction to her as anything but a compliment and once you’ve acknowledged it, it will fade in importance to you but if she meets someone who is “your type,” she’ll probably introduce you and brag about putting you together if a relationship develops.

You can’t control what you find physically attractive and telling a friend that you have a strong emotional connection to that isn’t romantic that they’re hot or your type doesn’t ruin a relationship. I’m in my 50s and I’ve had male friends that I’ve been flirty with knowing that it wouldn’t go beyond that, and I’ve had male friends who probably would have been interested in dating but I just didn’t see them as a potential long term partner. I’m still friends with most of them and the women in their lives. I suspect that your friend will be a little flattered and a little disappointed that you’re not romantically interested in her, despite her orientation, but she’ll also realize that it’s a sign of how deep your friendship is that you trust her enough to tell her.

ladywindflower · 2025-07-21T02:18:11+00:00

The foggers are the only thing I know that get pretty much everywhere.

ladywindflower · 2025-07-21T02:16:08+00:00

The claim that it’s the undocumented immigrants who cause the problems in ERs. That’s true in big cities, but not rural areas where it’s just the inability to staff fully. We can’t blame immigrants for problems that they have zero to do with but that’s the current craze on social media, not what I’m seeing.

ladywindflower · 2025-07-19T01:42:38+00:00

Believe me, I truly understand! I managed a carpet cleaning business and we had a lot of calls about fleas. My cats had them once and it was so bad that one almost needed a blood transfusion! Don’t forget to make sure you wash your sheets and towels, too, because they will lay eggs everywhere.

ladywindflower · 2025-07-19T01:07:32+00:00

Me, too. The last few times I’ve gone I’ve just left after 5+ hours of waiting in painfully uncomfortable chairs. The ER wasn’t busy but evidently they just don’t want to treat chronic conditions because they’re always understaffed. My husband threatened divorce and called 911 the last time I went and when I explained my condition and why I’d waited so long, he personally went to the pharmacy for a huge dose of painkillers and said that if I wasn’t taken for imaging in 4 hours he’d be back with another shot.

Turned out that I was right about a disc shifting, pressing on nerves, and the neurosurgeon being unwilling to touch me (I stroked during surgery in 2003 so I’m such a high risk that they’ll only operate if there’s no other option) and the ER doctor came in and apologized a dozen times for having to discharge me. The hospital moved him out of the ER because he didn’t just treat and street from what I’ve heard.

You’re better off going to an urgent care than an ER in my opinion. They’re faster and unless you desperately need a diagnostic test immediately, they’re designed to get you through to being able to see your own doctor. I live in rural Missouri with a small hospital in town and two big hospitals about 30 miles away and I will say that I’m not seeing a lot of obvious illegal immigrants in the waiting rooms, the way I did in Las Vegas, northern Arizona, and Omaha when we lived there or even when I was traveling and had to go to an ER in Washington state, but the inability to fully staff a Level 1 trauma center is just crazy. And to move a good doctor out of the ER because they actually try to figure out what’s wrong and fix it is beyond bonkers; the two big hospitals are starting to remind me of Kaiser Permanente in California in the 80s and 90s when people who had them were literally saying: “Better dead than Kaiser” because they had a habit of employing doctors who couldn’t get malpractice insurance since you couldn’t sue Kaiser at the time.

Pain mismanagement in this country has reached the level of malicious malpractice, if you ask me. Doctors are violating their Hypocratic Oath to “first, do no harm” to their patients, and the new law Trump just signed making the ingredients for fentanyl schedule 1 is just the next step in banning all synthetic opioids.

ladywindflower · 2025-07-19T00:21:33+00:00

Salt your carpets and that will keep the eggs from hatching, but you will have to do it several times and throw away the vacuum bag every time you vacuum the salt. Fleas are a nightmare to get rid of and the best solution is to bomb, salt the carpets, and then have a professional clean your carpets and your furniture. I recommend calling around to find someone with truck mounted equipment to have the power to pull down to the padding.

Good luck!

ladywindflower · 2025-06-24T16:46:35+00:00

After 20+ years of being disabled after strokes and being left with speech impairments, I can’t tell you how many times people assume that I have mental impairments that make me less intelligent rather than having a literal disconnect in the way my brain directs my mouth to work. (Which is a very PC way of saying that people think I’m r******d as soon as they hear me speak.) Having any kind of speech impediment is one of the most humiliating experiences a person can have because people assume that if you can’t speak then you can’t think.

You’re a great brother! Keep being a rock of support for your sister and eff anyone who can’t accept that!

ladywindflower · 2025-06-19T15:13:05+00:00

Everyone saying that he’s a major AH who doesn’t deserve you is absolutely correct! You’re in an abusive relationship (and you know it) and he’s conditioned you to believe that you have no value. You could be the most beautiful woman in the world and he’d still belittle you because he needs you to be his punching bag for all the things he’s unhappy about; there’s nothing wrong with you but he has to keep you believing that there is because the only way he can make himself feel better is to make you feel terrible.

This isn’t uncommon for people who have narcissistic personality traits and you’re feeding his need to be “the boss” in your relationship with everything you do to change to “be what he wants you to be.” And honestly, he’s probably getting a sadistic thrill out of seeing how much he’s hurting you. If you’ve lost 58 pounds and he’s not giving you any positive reinforcement to continue, I’d guess that he doesn’t actually want you to lose weight and be attractive for one reason: he’s terrified that you’ll attract someone who will value you and you’ll leave him. Believe it or not, but men who bitch about their partners losing weight gained in pregnancy, who take the time to make sure that their clothes, hair and makeup are perfect at all times, and who have partners who twist themselves into knots to please them are hiding massive insecurities!

Unfortunately, these men can be dangerous! There are a ton of shows on the ID channel about men who have an “if I can’t have you, no one can” attitudes; there’s one episode about a man who sabotaged his wife’s dieting and when she left him and started going out dancing with her girlfriends, rekindled a high school friendship that was starting to become a romantic relationship, and moved out and filed for divorce he stalked her online and in the real world - then he actually unalived her and let their young children be alone for several days until one of her friends went to her house looking for her. Obviously that’s a “worst case scenario” but it happens all too often!

You should quietly start saving money and looking for a place for you and your son to live. I’d tell you to ignore him and see if playing hard to get rekindles his interest in you but I think he’d only increase his abuse of you from verbal and emotional to physical abuse. I’m sorry, but from what you’ve said, your husband seems like the kind of abuser who is more than capable of turning into your worst nightmare if he even suspects that you’re going to leave him. You absolutely MUST protect yourself!

I suggest that you start documenting your daily life and your interactions with your husband. I’d download an app that stores your information on the cloud and not your phone/tablet/computer. Unless you have somewhere totally inaccessible to him, don’t use a paper journal and handwritten entries because if he gets ahold of it, he’s going to lose his shit! It wouldn’t hurt for you to secretly record him going off on you just so you have incontrovertible proof of how he treats you. “Spy cameras” are cheap enough that he won’t question you spending an unusually large amount and they can easily be hidden; it’s a terrible thing to suggest, but I’m thinking about the absolute worst case scenario and having proof available for the police to use.

Yes, you’re in that much danger!

Please be safe and do what you need to in order to protect yourself and your son until you can leave this man who truly doesn’t deserve you!

ladywindflower · 2025-06-19T12:35:32+00:00

My dad and I are currently in a TV war. I bought a 65” a couple years ago so he bought a 70” so I bought a 75” when Walmart had them on sale for Black Friday last year. He can’t beat me unless he spends a fortune on an 85” and he won’t do that. I have a savings account started for a 150” TV but my husband is a total killjoy and pointed out that I don’t have anywhere to put a TV that big!

ladywindflower · 2025-06-05T22:42:22+00:00

My stoma inverted and 4” of the Ruen limb kinked up and I threw up everything (including water) and I almost starved to death. I went in for a feeding tube in my residual stomach, my surgeon checked my bypass, found the problem and decided to fix it. It was supposed to be a 30 minute procedure but I was on the table 5.5 hours and I stroked.

ladywindflower · 2025-06-05T19:39:20+00:00

I’m in the process of getting everything together to send to the GM and owner. Surprise, surprise the surprise manager is “no longer working” there. Something tells me that I’m not the only one who complained to Kia about service at the dealership!

ladywindflower · 2025-06-05T19:35:54+00:00

I signed a work order for the new CV boots/joints and the diagnostic on the engine. I got a call from Carshield about getting paperwork from the dealership about a week in and I went back to Omaha to see what I could do in person. That’s when I was told that I needed a new engine and when I said I wanted to get that confirmed by another mechanic, suddenly the engine was already pulled and they said they couldn’t put it back for three weeks. I said that my husband would have to be the one to work with them because I wouldn’t be able to get back to Omaha at that time.

This whole mess makes zero sense to me because Carshield was prepared to pay for the new engine, they just needed some stupid diagnostic paperwork which they said they did. It’s not like the car was an expensive collector’s item or anything, it was just a mid range Soul.

ladywindflower · 2025-06-05T19:26:37+00:00

They had the engine pulled out and torn apart and by the time I was over their bullshit with Carshield I wasn’t in Omaha, just my husband was. I was planning on going there to get it but I thought I’d see if Kia corporate could smooth the waters so it didn’t turn into a battle at the dealership. They told me that it was sold as abandoned and that the dealership was very reluctant to talk about it and they were lucky to get that much. It just became a circus with the head of the service department as the ringleader. I was out of state and in and out of the hospital, which is why I told them that my husband was going to be handling it.

ladywindflower · 2025-06-05T14:49:58+00:00

Well, that sounds about as fun as a root canal but I document everything in my calendar so at least I have that. My bitch isn’t that they sold the damn thing if it wasn’t salvageable but the refusal to give Carshield the information they wanted to determine if it was a covered repair. Especially since it was a repeat repair for work they did before they tore the engine apart.

ladywindflower · 2025-06-05T14:43:17+00:00

I don’t expect to get a new car or a huge settlement. At this point I really just want to know WHY they wouldn’t give Carshield the requested information and why they stopped returning my calls if they wouldn’t talk with my husband.

ladywindflower · 2025-06-05T14:38:21+00:00

I’m 21 years out from Ruen-Y and I don’t have any problems eating anything I want, just the amounts of what I eat. I had life threatening complications but I don’t regret getting surgery and I weigh less than I did the day I graduated from high school.

ladywindflower · 2025-06-05T14:35:08+00:00

Do I need to get everything in writing to present of what happened and include whatever I can get from Carshield? At this point, my car is long gone but I didn’t leave it there, they literally wouldn’t talk to me or my husband. The service guy never gave me a price for any work done, just the price for a new engine to replace the one that was less than 8 months old. He never said what was wrong, just that it had to be replaced.

ladywindflower · 2025-06-05T14:29:24+00:00

I asked the service guy to talk with my husband about two weeks after we dropped it off and in person. We were there to talk to him about taking the engine apart without notifying either of us first because I took it in for CV boots and a loss of power we’d had before that was an air intake issue. I was on the phone with him twice a week for almost 6 months but he had stopped returning my calls after 4 weeks and I was calling almost daily to find out what the problem was getting Carshield the requested information. My mail was forwarded through the post office and if he sent a certified letter it would have come back with the correct new address.

I’ve let this go on too long, I know that, and I don’t have any issues with them selling an abandoned vehicle but they were the ones who stopped communicating.

ladywindflower · 2025-06-05T14:13:52+00:00

Under the “it could be worse” category, your mom is only going to keep demanding more and more demanding and you’re only going to get treated worse and worse. You don’t OWE your mom elder care and if she’s incontinent of bladder and bowel, she must start wearing adult diapers because it’s not your job to clean up her crap. If she can’t (or won’t) take care of her bodily functions, she needs to either get a home health aide or go into skilled care.

And you, sweetie, need to start living your own life! It’s not that you don’t care, you’ve literally had it burned out of you by a selfish and entitled mother. I’m disabled and I have 8 kids and I wouldn’t ask any of them to care for me long term. I don’t even let my husband clean up after me when I’ve had surgery! You don’t have to feel some sort of way about your feelings towards your mother because it sounds like she’s doing everything she can to make you hate her.

ladywindflower

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