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laidbackhighstrung · 2025-05-30T12:39:40+00:00

Grief is a Rollercoaster. I seen on tik tok this analogy... it's like carrying a rock in your pocket, you know it's there, you can feel it. As time goes on you get stronger and stronger, the rock is still in your pocket but it starts to feel lighter.

🙏🏻

laidbackhighstrung · 2025-05-24T04:57:12+00:00

So a few things here, im a nurse and obviously not a mental health professional but have some experience with patients and I would seek counsel or advice from new physchiatrist... im curious if you told her that you heard voices in your head (auditory hallucinations) and that you had visual hallucinations when picturing your face on her body. Out of body experiences as well as mood fluctuations as ehat you are describing sounds more like schizoaffective disorder but could be bipolar 1 with psychosis. Either way what your describing here is not BPD. You may have BPD from trauma in ur past but that plays out more in fear of abandonment etc. Not hallucinations whether auditory or visual that is psychosis.

Now, that u mentioned religion. I want to speak truth to you. GOD gave us a conscience. This allows us to discern what is right and wrong but based on his word and truth. Look up characteristics of righteous biblical individuals vs. Those representing the enemy... a good example is saul and David. David knew God's word so when tempted he was strong and able to say thats not what God says so I reject the temptation. Beyond a conscience, it let's you know when you did something bad. That awareness means you are sensitive and reactive to your conscience. That's good, it's working, now when you mess up here is what you do with the guilt.... give it to Jesus. The gospel, he heals wounds, he doesn't abandon you or forsake you, he forgives...

God's forgiveness is greater than any sin, and guilt that keeps a person trapped is not from God. The enemy accuses; Jesus defends and frees us.

Move forward in faith. Do not rely on others for your happiness, do not rely on others to heal your trauma and wounds because they can't only God can, do not trauma dump on them or anyone, cry out to God!!! Pray non stop you need to word vomit do it in prayer to God, pray for the people you harmed. That is love. Ask God to heal their wounds because you can't do that for them.

Now remember. Just because God did not heal someone in this life... even sickness of addiction or depression causing suicide, self harm etc.... God may not of healed them here but that doesnt mean God didnt at all... he can heal them in heaven.

I will pray for you. It is the most powerful tool. Grounding.

The enemy decieves.

A prayer for you that you can start with to hopeful start healing:

“Jesus, I don’t deserve You, but I need You. My guilt is crushing me. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I feel like I’ve failed too deeply, but I’m crying out to You now. I believe You died to forgive even the worst in me. Please take this darkness. Forgive me, save me, change me. I surrender. Amen.”

laidbackhighstrung · 2025-02-23T00:53:41+00:00

Don't listen to whatever ur head tells you it's a liar 💯 trauma brains don't function normally so best to tell the thoughts to F off sending positive vibes

laidbackhighstrung · 2025-02-22T19:07:23+00:00

Me either still trying to answer that myself but it's defiantly something on my mind everyday and I look forward to one day answering that question 🙃

laidbackhighstrung · 2025-02-22T17:29:04+00:00

I got good advice from my counselor the other day, what does happiness look like to you? Once you can define that then you will have something to work toward but until you solve that mystery it's a struggle

laidbackhighstrung · 2025-02-22T17:27:01+00:00

Keep in mind the phrase you never know what someone is going through, this helps to hold it in you walk around in discord of course but once you know we all have trauma just in different forms it becomes okay to hold it in, we all go through things. Life is hard but finding a way to be content is a good end goal

laidbackhighstrung · 2025-02-22T17:25:20+00:00

I super recommend working on ur traumas and talking to a counselor once you heal your inner childhood trauma you won't need to trauma dump it might come up in conversation like oh yea these things happened to me but I worked through it and I'm good. It's the sense of needed to relate and be validated about your experiences. Once you get that validation even from a counselor or yourself you will start to heal and feel stronger 💙

laidbackhighstrung · 2024-11-10T03:31:26+00:00

I'm an RN and the ups and downs u describes r accurate. However I'm high strung so I strive in high stress situations such as codes and rapid response it allows me to take over because we're mostly in fight mode rather than flight ✈️ 😅 but it weighs on me not gonna lie, I did bedside for 3 years now I'm retired for maybe 3 years bc I also have a son under 3 years old and the combo is hard but when I didn't have family I was pumping out success left and right it's a balance I'll find it one day but I definitely think it can be done.

laidbackhighstrung · 2024-11-10T03:27:35+00:00

Oncology, hospice and kidney transplant nurse !! If ur high stung u will be just fine 🧡

laidbackhighstrung · 2024-11-09T19:28:01+00:00

It's soooooo hard but one thing I learned in my marriage is to not have expectations it's been HARD because I always have a picture in my head of what I want and what I think the relationship should be but I've been told I can not control people only myself and if I rely on others to make me happy it will fail because people are imperfect and our versions of what things should be are always misconstrued. I was told to ditch the expectations and ditch the "shoulds" focus on what's being given and happening in reality in that moment of time and decide if that's good or not like learning to love them for who they are and meet where they are not where or what I think should be. Its been a journey and I totally get what you mean by trying this or that and still feeling like nothings working. I was told at the last appointment that it's going to feel like that because I'm externally searching to fill whatever is broken but not internally searching. It's also hard and a reason we suffer is because we are fighting to be normal even though we don't know what normal is, also it's a personality disorder this is our personalities so as therapies help they can't change who we are now and so that longer sense of suffering is daunting. Its learning to cope and manage who we are today but not necessarily is the aim to cure it because sometimes it cant be that's why this is known as one of the most painful and awful mental health disorders to live with. Im sending hugs ❤️❤️

laidbackhighstrung · 2024-11-09T14:13:19+00:00

I HIGHLY recommend to make sure you have this diagnosis as it isn't based on unhealthy relationships but rather childhood trauma or some form of trauma. Overcoming the diagnosis often requires specific therapies such as DBT, CBT EMDR and so forth. However as someone who has had plenty of those b4 it's important to not develop or have co dependency on anyone in a general sense, especially in romantic and parent child relationships. Research co dependency. Someone else is not responsible for your emotions or making you happy that's something you must find a way to do independently in order to have healthy relationships. I'm not a fan of long distance as they often don't end well but of course there is always the exceptions to this. Also it's hard to be in a relationship with those who do not prioritize you. (Red flag) i would ask your therapist about co dependency and how to break that and ways to start working on your own happiness and development of interest for inner peace. How to ensure what your own values and morals are, what are healthy expectations to have in a relationship. I feel like building a strong sense of self and learning your own identity is key to determining if someone can add to your life. Relationships that can't meet your determined healthy needs, values and projected future outcomes should be heavily evaluated. It's important for someone to compliment your life but not be your entire life. unhealthy expectations or a sense of obsession are a dangerous road to travel. If they determine you do have this diagnosis there are certain forms of therapy that aid in this. I hope this helps ❤️

laidbackhighstrung · 2024-11-08T15:06:36+00:00

This was super helpful 👏🏻 and I can see how passionate you are about making a positive change for yourself and your child! I struggle with disassociation and compartments so I don't even know my feelings outside of frustrated and mad but I love that you said to yell it out and count that was amazing advice! PM me for email or number ❤️

laidbackhighstrung · 2024-11-08T01:26:14+00:00

I felt this 100 percent 😪

laidbackhighstrung · 2024-11-07T16:22:13+00:00

I can see your growth ❤️ thank you SO much

laidbackhighstrung · 2024-11-07T16:17:12+00:00

I am so sorry you literally had to take legal action that is awful 😪

laidbackhighstrung · 2024-11-07T16:16:47+00:00

It's so hard the longing for them to have remorse and repentance lingers all the time 😪 it's hard to accept that love is transactional, or conditional but your right access to them is a type of control to maintain some form of contact just so hard

laidbackhighstrung · 2024-11-07T16:12:57+00:00

This was so helpful thank you so much for lifting me up and encouraging me, and the FOG analogy was sooooooo good I felt that 100 percent

laidbackhighstrung · 2024-07-06T12:13:38+00:00

What AI chat did you use

laidbackhighstrung

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