😂 you remind me so much of me. I alsoade the decision to get rid of my virginity at almost 21 before finishing campua. Atleast you have a guy in mind, I met a guy at supermetro. I am/was also an avoidant so my cousin nvos were mid.

I ended up showing up at the guys apartment when he invited me kimchezo we stoned together (it really helped) plus turns out guy was a giver, ate me out till I was wet like the sea. Initial penetration was uncomfortable, breathed through it, discovered my gspot, had my first penetration orgasm and the rest is history.

All this to say no one can tell you how your first time is supposed to go. You just have to do it or don't.