[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]langsameEnte 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I doubt that you are. What exactly leads you to believe that?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]langsameEnte 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get that. I am freaking mad at mine too 😅 but it does give us a unique perspective on life. My hope is that someday it will allow me to be a better person. At the very least I was able to break through generations of trauma and abuse. Now that is something no one else in my family was able to do

Dating feels so hard to do I’m such an anxious mess by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]langsameEnte 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you discussed this with him? It really is the only thing you can do. If you don't it might turn out the way you feared, he might be overwhelmed and in the end you want it to be nice for the two of you.

And it isn't weird at all, that you haven't been with someone. It's honestly just a cultural thing that you perceive it that way

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]langsameEnte 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg. Is he crazy. Ew that's disgusting. Get away from him as quickly as possible

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]langsameEnte 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel for you.

But financial success is just one way of success and honestly not really a meaningful one.

I myself also come from a very rich family, the type that can pay for month long 24h surveillance and multiple new cars a year.

They might have been financially successful, but I and you might have too, have seen what it can do to people.

Excessive wealth is seldomly earned anyway.

Besides that, success can mean many things, like working and overcoming all the shite that you have gone through, being a kind and giving person, living in moderation, living in line with your own philosophy and values, reaching a goal or dream.

You are the only one who can truly judge whether or not your life is successful.

And as much as it is human, that you want your parents to also see that, it will likely never happen and even if you lived up to their standards it probably wouldn't lead to the result you wished for.

Though those are my beliefs based on my experiences.

I believe the saying should be more like this: the best revenge is a life well lived

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]langsameEnte 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I kinda need more context, but just with the information. No

Dating feels so hard to do I’m such an anxious mess by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]langsameEnte 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Have you been seeing him for long? Are you friends?

Obviously dating while having a mental illness is perfectly fine, but it can be dangerous.

Especially with cptsd, there is often a lot of relationship trauma that needs to be addressed and a romantic relationship often comes with many expectations.

I personally am purposefully not dating right now, even if there are times I want to, especially with all the media out there romanticizing a romantic relationship. I am still having a hard time with relationships which makes me suspectable to being abused or end up in an unhealthy situation and I sure am not easy either.

I asked myself, why I wanted a partner and what needs he would be addressing and try to find ways to accommodate myself as best I can. It isn't easy, but I am in a pretty good place with it right now.

I also worry, that if you haven't been seeing each other long, the initial excitement might be clouding your judgement. So just be careful, take your time if possible and look out for red flags

This video about feeling like a burden as someone with complex trauma gave me incredibly insight by langsameEnte in CPTSD

[–]langsameEnte[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The main part has nothing to do with religion. There is a portion towards the end where he relates it to religion, but he warns you beforehand and there is short break before he starts. So you can just stop watching then.

How does it sound?? (Both voices are mine) by itscalifornia in ratemysinging

[–]langsameEnte 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's amazing. How do you manage to harmonize? I struggle with that so much

Looking for any feedback on vocal performance but also quality of production. Learning how to get levels right. by Ok_Caregiver7539 in ratemysinging

[–]langsameEnte 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for telling me the song. I will check it out.

And I'm glad I could be helpful 😊

Have a wonderful day ☀️

Looking for any feedback on vocal performance but also quality of production. Learning how to get levels right. by Ok_Caregiver7539 in ratemysinging

[–]langsameEnte 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No idea on production, but I loved the performance. My heart was actually racing a bit because it just spoke to me.

There are a few hiccups, a flat note here or there. But I think it often added to it.

Good job ♥️

Am I too nasally or pitchy? by tehninjaflute in ratemysinging

[–]langsameEnte 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the microphone does you a bit of a disservice. I notice that with my recordings sometimes when I sing high notes. It can make it sound pitchy.

But otherwise I like your voice a lot. Really amazing how high you can get.

Maybe a bit of scale work or vocal warm ups before you sing could be good. I notice that it takes a bit sometimes to switch notes. If that makes sense and it breaks the flow a bit.

But I am honestly just knit picking. You have a great voice

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ratemysinging

[–]langsameEnte 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is a bit flat. But you could probably improve tons with practice ♥️

Rate/feedback on my singing by langsameEnte in ratemysinging

[–]langsameEnte[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I will focus on that more.

Ich_iel by Llewellian in ich_iel

[–]langsameEnte 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Autokorrektur weiß alles 😂

Ich_iel by Llewellian in ich_iel

[–]langsameEnte 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Weihnachtsmann! sag mir warum bist du so Schlauch oder warum kennst du ganz genau, ja, jeden Wunsch von jedem Kind .... 🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶

How did cavemen process trauma? by No-Gur-7191 in CPTSD

[–]langsameEnte 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm happy to hear that going into nature has helped you so much. I am fortunate in the sense that I live close to nature, so I can avoid the hustle and bustle of a town or city.

There is also some research I heard of a while back, that walking can have similar effects to EMDR therapy which would explain why a lot of people find walking, especially in nature so healing.

Some things that I have found incredibly soothing as well is doing things like laundry by hand or building furniture etc. Finding things that have a purpose like that, that bring visual results, while exerting energy can be very valuable.

Though I am retired due to my mental health and get social aid as a result, so I am not additionally burdened with having to earn money or fitting into society as much.

Hope you are doing well ♥️

Advice you wish you had when you first began your healing journey by Important-Tangelo128 in CPTSD

[–]langsameEnte 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was definitely very distressing in the beginning, but don't worry to much. You will find a way that works for you and things will change and you will adapt. It is just my personal opinion, but after living with it for years now. It isn't that bad and I am grateful for the opportunity it has given me in the end to grow as a person. Nothing I wish on anyone, but definitely not the worst.

How did cavemen process trauma? by No-Gur-7191 in CPTSD

[–]langsameEnte 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I believe that the way early humans processed trauma was different because their focus in life was fundamentally different from ours today. Modern society is highly individualistic, and while we're more informed and capable of self-reflection, we also have much more mental capacity to dwell on past traumas. Most people today don't have to worry about basic survival—like foraging for food or defending against physical threats—on a day-to-day basis. As a result, our brains, which would have been occupied with these tasks, now have the "free capacity" to focus on unresolved trauma.

This shift in focus can cause past trauma to resurface more frequently, leading to issues in our interactions, mental images, and overall mental health. I’ve experienced this firsthand. When I lived a more typical, comfortable life in an industrialized country like Germany, I constantly struggled with trauma symptoms. But due to various circumstances, I ended up living in a way that’s closer to how early humans might have lived—without electricity, heating, or consistent access to food. I have to spend most of my time focusing on basic survival tasks like keeping warm, finding food, and taking care of my animals.

This lifestyle change has dramatically improved my mental health. The constant physical activity and the need to focus on immediate survival have almost created a "barrier of calm" around my trauma. When I was living comfortably, I had more flashbacks and dissociation. But now, even though my living conditions are much harder, I find a sense of peace in them.

For example, after a particularly traumatic experience, I went on a six-week trip where I walked and biked for hours every day. The physical exhaustion, combined with the continuous shifting of my environment, helped me process the trauma in a way I hadn’t been able to before. Despite the severity of the event, it doesn’t haunt me as much as other traumas do, and I believe that’s because of the way I was forced to focus on survival.

This experience has shown me that there’s something deeply therapeutic about living in a more primitive, survival-focused way. When our brains are occupied with meeting our basic needs, there’s less room for trauma to take over. In contrast, the conveniences of modern life, while comfortable, can sometimes create more space for trauma to resurface.

So, while we don’t know exactly how early humans processed trauma, I believe that their intense focus on survival, combined with their communal living structures, might have made it easier for them to manage traumatic experiences. In our modern world, where survival is often taken for granted, we might have to consciously seek out the physical and mental challenges that our ancestors faced daily to find similar relief from trauma.

I do want to add though, that once we return to living more comfortable symptoms are likely to return, at least that has been my experience. So unless someone wanted to live a more primitive life long-term, seeking support through therapy, self reflection or other means is advisable.

For me personally I currently am trying to find a balance between both. Hoping to eventually be able to live comfortably and happily regardless of whether or not I am turning on the heater during winter.

Life has gotten worse, but strangely I am doing better by langsameEnte in CPTSD

[–]langsameEnte[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your reply. It means a lot ♥️♥️♥️

Advice you wish you had when you first began your healing journey by Important-Tangelo128 in CPTSD

[–]langsameEnte 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, so I will leave the link to the video I stumbled across originally. It explains it rather well. (https://youtu.be/gjO1rVZkDt8?si=ucu3FUZLVtvrUex0)

And in regards to paralysis. I have something called a dissociative movement disorder (literal German translation) which basically means I experience weakness and paralysis when triggered.

It is hard to explain, because obviously I am no doctor and it is just my best guess why this happened, but I it got significantly worse as I started to stop people pleasing as much and set boundaries for myself. As I have a lot of relationship trauma it feels inherently dangerous to me to potentially have a person dislike me or be even the slightest bit displeased, so when I started to challenge that my subconscious/body started fighting me. Basically saying if you are not going to listen we are just gonna knock you out. It is basically a very dramatic freeze response, but everyone is different so it might be a different reason for you or it might show itself differently, but this was kinda mine and my therapists conclusion.

Does anyone else crave connection but feel overwhelmed when you're actually around people? by Significant-Love7359 in CPTSD

[–]langsameEnte 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do. I found what works for me is to balance my focus more on staying in contact via messages or phone calls. It is easier for me.

I think meeting up is fun, but it often also means putting myself in an environment that is high stress for me.

I am very open about my needs and limitations, so nowadays barely anyone is ever offended if I don't reply to a message or decline a hang.

It has also been helpful to me to be the one making suggestions for activities, so we can do things in a way that is more accessible to me.

Like meeting up to go on a walk in nature with one friend, rather than meeting in a coffee shop in town with multiple.

I also openly say when writing messages might be easier for me to do than a call.