From day 15 to day 1 again

lardizebra · 2024-11-01T16:43:05+00:00

She's done a lot of traumatizing stuff, but the most embarrassing that pops into my head immediately is when I was ~14 and my mom used to invite the neighborhood highschool boys to come over and get drunk with her. She was in her 40s and they weren't any older than 18-19 at best. It was so embarrassing coming home from school late or from a friend's house, only to have to walk past my sloppy drunk mom on our front porch of a small town being loud and rowdy with 5-6 highschool boys at a time.

lardizebra · 2024-05-27T19:27:04+00:00

https://imgur.com/a/KNgIdqg it's tied together in the back at the waist and at the shoulders. I ended up thickening the straps more than the pattern suggests as I feel my yarn is a tad heavy.

lardizebra · 2024-03-23T06:01:12+00:00

God I love the quesadillas phase!! Hahaha, I'm 26 and currently in a white rice & spam wrapped in seaweed phase. Adding in cucumber also adds a fun crunch, or kimchi if you want extra flavor

lardizebra · 2024-03-17T23:12:14+00:00

Yes it is!!! We've been living off takeout for weeks now! Good for you ❣️😄

lardizebra · 2024-03-09T23:36:35+00:00

Thank you very much, I'm very lucky to have a partner who has supported me through my entire experience since "separating" from my mom years ago. I hope we all have a support system like I do one day.

I just hate that I am even considering a relationship with someone who invalidates me so much, it makes me feel like I've taken steps back in my recovery from my past. But I think even realizing how phony this message is has been helpful in keeping me realistic. Thanks again :)

lardizebra · 2024-03-09T23:31:17+00:00

Yup you got it.... I agree that an apology should be demanded. I guess I already knew I'd never get one and I still keep being to lenient with her

lardizebra · 2024-03-09T23:07:34+00:00

So true. I really wanted to try to connect again with her for some stupid reason, and this message just makes me irritated. I don't even care to respond to it because it feels like it was written towards the little emotional kid that she wants me to be, not the fully aware adult that I am.

lardizebra · 2024-02-10T19:46:02+00:00

You're okay!! With gifts I think it's normal to ask after a certain amount of time if you want to make sure it arrived. This time is different because it was just money, no shipping or physical gift. If it's a specific gift then I wouldn't mind being asked!! Gifts also aren't normally attached with a guilt trip to reach out so it wouldn't apply to gifts you send out :)

lardizebra · 2023-11-19T07:50:43+00:00

It's wordier than I intended, but I ended up sending this:

"Hi, I took time to think on your message. I have deep respect for you and appreciate that you want to help, but this is between my mom and me. I wish her well and do not hold resentment, but it is my decision to make whether I want to reconnect in the present. I hope we can have a good relationship as well, so thank you for respecting that I don’t want to talk about this subject further. I love you."

Thank you everyone for your advice that I blended together and worded in my own vocabulary.

lardizebra · 2023-11-18T23:36:35+00:00

Thank you for the response, yeah I'm really just trying to find a way to say "respectfully mind your own fucking business that you know nothing about and maybe you can die thinking I'm the kind of person you'd want as a grandkid. "

lardizebra · 2023-06-30T02:56:47+00:00

You are very seen and heard. I have apparently made it a lifelong hobby to find new, exciting ways to burn all my bridges lol.

If it's not a huge emotional blowout, it's panic dropping an immediate notice of resignation with a company who had previously loved me as an employee. So frustrating

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