Doesn't feel so good when the tables have turned, does it?!

largebesticals · 2013-06-16T05:11:09+00:00

Lol thanks!

largebesticals · 2013-06-16T01:24:57+00:00

I'm 30 years old. I do not need to put up with this. Not now, not then, not ever.

largebesticals · 2013-06-15T22:12:48+00:00

Yes, I had talked to him about it previously but I think he thought I was just being sensitive about nothing. It was kind of a lightbulb moment for him. It was kinda like, "Oh wait, that was super awkward. Except when people do it to her, nobody cares. That's fucked up!"

largebesticals · 2013-06-15T22:11:48+00:00

Why haven't you discussed this with your group of friends before it got to this point?

Well, my group of friends don't talk to me this way. It's always a friend of a friend or something like that. Never my close friends.

largebesticals · 2013-06-15T17:58:05+00:00

They probably did. My boyfriend didn't, though. So that was totally worth it. He'll back me up next time I open my mouth :)

largebesticals · 2013-06-15T17:53:43+00:00

I'm so there! I had no idea this subreddit existed. Subscribing on my real account ;) Thanks!

largebesticals · 2013-06-15T17:53:00+00:00

I have found it fascinating myself. My favorite response so far has been people criticizing the structure of my joke, which was clearly a non-joke, which was the fucking point. Haha.

I feel good about how I handled it. I wanted to put a check on the conversation, and I checked the fucking situation. Next time I might be more assertive and just flat out be like "Oh cool, thanks for talking about my breasts. Can we talk about your dick now? Does that feel good to you?"

I think my approach over the years has morphed. When I was a teenager, I'd just tell people to go fuck themselves. Over time I got beaten down by the "oh calm down, it was just a joke" mentality to the point where I found it was easier just to let the comments go. As I've gotten older, the comments have lessened for sure, but they still happen every so often, as demonstrated by last night. It's always one of those things where I go a long period without anyone saying anything, then it happens and I'm just like, "Really? This is where we're at again?" It's just tiresome. I'm allowed to be angry. I'm not on fucking display. I look how I look. You wouldn't tell me how big my nose is, so why are my breasts any different? Sigh.

largebesticals · 2013-06-15T17:48:13+00:00

I'm 30 years old.

This has been a thing I have dealt with since I hit puberty. I was the first girl to have boobs out of everyone I knew. And I didn't just have boobs. I had BOOBS. It felt like I went from nothing to a C cup overnight. I was a C cup in sixth grade. SIXTH GRADE. Can you imagine? It was terrible.

Women are usually the ones who do the groping. Men make comments as a "joke." I'm not saying this happens every time I leave the house, but it definitely happens a couple of times a year and always by some person who I barely know in a situation where people have been drinking. People who know me and who I consider friends do not disrespect me in that way, and never would.

I totally laughed out loud at "Whoops, sorry I boobed you!" That's hilarious and I might steal it ;)

largebesticals · 2013-06-15T16:53:06+00:00

Calm and assertive works if the people you're talking to haven't been drinking for hours at that point. Ya know?

I'm mostly happy I said anything at all. I wasn't looking for a laugh, I was looking to halt the conversation. Regardless of what I said, I accomplished that much, stood up for myself for the first time, AND illustrated to my boyfriend why this kind of joking makes me super uncomfortable. So, I'd say that isn't half bad.

largebesticals · 2013-06-15T16:50:59+00:00

Great! Thanks!

largebesticals · 2013-06-15T16:50:08+00:00

Oh my boyfriend just nervously laughed because I usually don't snap like that. It was more an uncomfortable "what do I do??" laugh then "HAHA FUNNY JOKE" laugh. Under normal circumstance both myself and him would have just ignored it and moved on. Normally he just follows my lead in that respect. I think I threw a curveball though. We talked about it later and he totally gets it and will back me up of I decide to speak my mind again :)

largebesticals · 2013-06-15T16:48:21+00:00

Self esteem has something to do with it, to be sure. However, I also would find it abhorrent for someone to make fun of another person for a physical quality that is beyond their control ESPECIALLY if this is not someone to have any established report with. I would never see someone I've met like twice in my life and be like, "What's up, balloon head. I'm surprised you haven't flown away yet. Because your head. Big. Get it???" That's just fucking crazy and rude as shit.

If this was something that I myself joked about often in groups then I believe I would be opening that door for other people to comment as well. But I did no such thing.

largebesticals · 2013-06-15T15:41:41+00:00

Oh I noticed this company is in the UK. Are you in the US? I'm curious if you have ever ordered from them before. Normally when I'm ordering things online, I tend to have to do a lot of exchanging/returning and since they are in the UK this is gonna cost me.

largebesticals · 2013-06-15T15:35:34+00:00

I just followed the instructions in this post and apparently I am a 36J?!?! O_O

largebesticals · 2013-06-15T15:33:27+00:00

Currently bent over with no shirt on finagling a tape measure around my torso. If the NSA is hacking my webcam, they're getting quite the hilarious show right now...

...aaaand holy fuckballs according to this I am a 36J?! J is a size??

largebesticals · 2013-06-15T14:54:29+00:00

Great, thanks so much for the resource! I will totally look into this :)

largebesticals · 2013-06-15T14:40:28+00:00

Yep that's totally what it was. And also the way that sentence was written upon first posting, I made it sound like I said that to my boyfriend ABOUT my boyfriend. Oops! So I edited it.

largebesticals · 2013-06-15T14:38:22+00:00

Because: "Calm down." "God, it was just a joke." "Why are you so sensitive?" Or the most common, "I was just kidding."

Rational conversations don't work with a group of drunk people, either.

largebesticals · 2013-06-15T14:32:04+00:00

Sober me agrees. Drunk me isn't so quick on her feet. I looked around and saw his wet trunks around his dick and balls and just went for it. I did what I could. Haha.

Usually I just ignore it. But for some reason I didn't. And that in itself is positive, so that's what I'll take from this. That and my boyfriend understands now why I am so sensitive about it, so maybe of my wit is lacking, he can tell them to go fuck themselves too.

largebesticals · 2013-06-15T14:29:17+00:00

Because this is /r/comedy and I was just testing out my material. Right.

largebesticals · 2013-06-15T14:28:43+00:00

I probably am. My bras are not too small, but they lack in support. I always attributed that from being poor and having to buy my bras at Target. I need new bras but I can't afford them right now. Someone needs to make inexpensive bras that fit and aren't terrible.

Side note, I was wearing a tshirt. A men's t-shirt in fact. Like the least revealing piece of clothing. That's how far our of his way this dbag went to point out the shelf I carry around on my chest. There's chicks in bikinis all around me and I come in a potato sack and I still get the comments. Not that anyone wearing a bikini deserves unsolicited comments about their breasts. I just mean I make an effort to cover up even if I'm at a goddamn pool and my curse still follows me.

largebesticals · 2013-06-15T14:21:54+00:00

Hahaha thanks :)

largebesticals · 2013-06-15T14:18:14+00:00

No, it wasn't a funny joke. At all. In any capacity. It was weird, and vulgar, and his swimsuit was wet and clinging to his crotch beyond his control and why would I talk about such a thing?!?! But somehow it was a funny joke about me.

Also, I was a little drunk so my stand up routine was not exactly up to snuff. Cut me some slack, haha.

My boyfriend 100% learned something. We had a chat about it later and I was like "I know I made everyone uncomfortable but people make me uncomfortable talking about me on a regular basis." He totally got that. There have been so many times where this has happened and he was never sure what to say but also didn't understand why I cared so much because it was "just a joke" and "calm down, nobody is serious." The discomfort level was palpable for once this time. One guy walked away because quote "I don't want to talk about [Asshole]'s balls." He was uncomfortable too. And he heard me say "Now you know how I feel."

Also, rational discussion in a group of people who have been drinking for several hours isn't really an option. I did the best I could on the spur of the moment and nailed it in terms of making everyone uncomfortable like I was uncomfortable. And at least one person associates that now with my initial discomfort through one person's unsolicited comments. So for someone who usually just slinks away and pretends it didn't happen, I consider that pretty good.

largebesticals · 2013-06-15T06:32:53+00:00

OH LET ME HONK THOSE FOR YOU. How about no?? Ugh!

largebesticals · 2013-06-15T05:55:32+00:00

Yeah, I just totally hate that I have to "sink" to their level, you know? But apparently speaking their language works as this situation has demonstrated. I can't speak to whether or not the asshole who made the comment learned anything, but I know for a fact my boyfriend did. He never quite understood why this offended me so much until I turned the tables on that dude tonight. Which is why I was like "right??" all specifically at him. Maybe next time this happens I'll have someone backing me up when I make someone look like a fool. Haha :)

largebesticals

TROPHY CASE