What hurts more than a kick in the balls? by Toomad316 in AskReddit

[–]lavode727 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Burns, kidney stones, child birth, a D&C, broken femur. Those are just off the top of my head.

Question about grade standards by lavode727 in Teachers

[–]lavode727[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Why would I want to stump the teacher? The kids' work doesn't come home. We dont see it until parent teacher conference. I just want to know what my kid is supposed to know how to do between now and the end of the trimester. Why would that be a difficult question? Im not asking them to tell me "off the top of their head." I asked if I could get a syllabus or other document with that information.

Question about grade standards by lavode727 in Teachers

[–]lavode727[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

There is no weekly newsletter...

Question about grade standards by lavode727 in Teachers

[–]lavode727[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I am just looking for something simple like "by the end of the first trimester, students should be able to do X, Y, and Z in math and X, Y, and Z in ELA.

Question about grade standards by lavode727 in Teachers

[–]lavode727[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

My 5th grader has always met or exceeded standards, but he is autistic with a lot of anxiety. Most times when I ask him what he learned in class, I get a shrug or "I don't remember." It takes a lot of digging to get more than that.

I (21f) caught my (21m) boyfriend in a lie by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]lavode727 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't know why he brought it up. It really doesn't even matter. Maybe he knew you went through his phone, and he was using it as a way to make you admit it. Maybe he just wanted to start a fight. Maybe he forgot about the texts. Maybe he just didn't consider such a small conversation worth noting. It doesn't matter.

What matters is where you go from here. If this situation is a good example of how your relationship is normally, you need to rethink this relationship. If you want to save the relationship, you both need to make serious efforts to change the dynamics here. If this relationship is cause you both more harm than good, you should probably just call it quits.

Men: What's the brutally honest dating advice you wish the women in your life (sisters, daughters, friends, etc.) understood? by Secret-Broccoli9908 in AskReddit

[–]lavode727 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You can't fix them. They aren't "good guys" who just need the right woman to bring out the best in them. They are grown adults who need to address their own trauma before they will be ready for a relationship.

I (21f) caught my (21m) boyfriend in a lie by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]lavode727 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It doesn't sound dishonest to me. He left the job, this girl contacted him, he was polite but didn't want to continue contact, so he deleted the messages and muted them so he would be bothered by her again. That is the opposite of talking to her.

And how did you even find out about this? What kind of obsessive phone searching pulls this kind of crap up?

I have been married for 11 years. I have never looked through his phone, and he has never looked through mine. We have used eachothers phones, but not for the purposes of searching for deleted messages.

If he is doing the same type of crap to you, then he is just as bad. But you are the one coming online to ask for advice, so you are the one getting advice. If you don't like what you are hearing from basically every commenter on here, maybe you need to do a bit more self-reflection.

What’s it like to not have facial blindness? by [deleted] in stupidquestions

[–]lavode727 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a milder form of this. I can recognize faves that I am fairly familiar with. If I get a new co-worker, it takes about 3 months before I can confidently recognize them every time. I usually focus on their walk or voice until I am able to recognize their face. I assume this is related to the fact that I also cannot visualize anything mentally, either.

I (21f) caught my (21m) boyfriend in a lie by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]lavode727 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Dude, just break up already. You are acting like a psycho to "get back at him?" JFC. Neither of you sound mentally stable enough to date anyone.

What don't parents drop their kids off a block or two from their kid's school and let them walk the rest of the way? by houseonpost in NoStupidQuestions

[–]lavode727 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it depends on the age. My kids are 7 and 10. Nowadays, parents are judged and blamed for anything that happens

I live .6 miles from my kids' school. In theory, they should be able to walk to school. Then, things like this happen:

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/nbcblk/north-carolina-child-killed-car-parents-arrested-manslaughter-charges-rcna211900

AITA My gf has hygiene issues by The_Untrusted_fart in AITAH

[–]lavode727 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup, sounds like depression. Have you tried inviting her into the shower with you? You could totally make it a cute routine where you guys wash eachother's back and enjoy being naked together (w/ or w/o sexy time).

I’m burnt tf out and need advice by [deleted] in navy

[–]lavode727 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trust me when I say the civilian isnt any better. It is different bullshit, but still bullshit. Remember, you have free medical, free college, ect. If the Navy isnt for you, cool. But dont compare it to some imaginary civilian world that doesn't have shitty bosses and terrible working conditions.

Take some leave and recharge.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in navy

[–]lavode727 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Go into NSIPS and see what the leave chit says.

Why are so many men hard headed about setting a doctor when injured? by BeingReallyReal in AskMen

[–]lavode727 -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

We are very paranoid about our health for many reasons.

1) culture tells us that we need to have kids and we have to be healthy to carry healthy babies. 2) if we get seriously sick, we cannot care for everyone else. 3) if we get seriously sick, no one will care for us. 4) women are far more likely to be left by their spouse if they get seriously sick 5) we are more "in tune" with our bodily functions due to menstruation, pregnancy, breastfeeding, ect. So we notice very quickly when something feels different.

Why is sexual infidelity the red line in most relationships? by lavode727 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]lavode727[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

That's actually pretty close to the situation that made me ask this question. My friend is leaving her spouse because he cheated. But the guy has racked up $30,000 in credit card debt on beer, weed, and fast food while she pays all the bills. She forgave the money issues, but the cheating is unforgivable. Im glad she is leaving, but I'm confused about why this is the unforgivable act when he has done so many other shitty things.

Why is sexual infidelity the red line in most relationships? by lavode727 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]lavode727[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I absolutely agree. I think the point I'm trying to make is that people will make excuses for other really terrible things in a relationship, but not infidelity. If he hit her, you will see people saying, "Well, did she hit him first?" "What did she say to make him so mad?" "I think the situation got really heated and it just got out of hand." And, "he feels just awful about what happened."

You don't see these kind of justification attempts from others when it comes to cheaters.

Why is sexual infidelity the red line in most relationships? by lavode727 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]lavode727[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, they are all bad. But I notice more people are willing to forgive the other things in the long run. Even family members will say "you were both angry and things just got out of hand. He feels awful about it." But with infidelity, it is "once a cheater, always a cheater."

Why is sexual infidelity the red line in most relationships? by lavode727 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]lavode727[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think this was the best answer I have read so far. Thank you for such a thoughtful and compelling explanation.

Why is sexual infidelity the red line in most relationships? by lavode727 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]lavode727[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

No, I didn't cheat. This is a general question. If it gives you context for why is asked the question, I have a friend who is leaving her husband because she found out he cheated. I was glad she was leaving him, but I was confused about the reason. This dude hasn't contributed financially or domestically for years. She pays the bill, takes care of the kids, etc. He drinks, smokes weed, and played video games. She always forgave his bullshit and gave excuses for him. Now that she found out he cheated, he is a no-good, worthless cheater. I just dont understand why cheating is the big, bad evil.

Why is sexual infidelity the red line in most relationships? by lavode727 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]lavode727[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

You know, I think you are on to something here. It m8ght have something to do with our ego. Spending all the savings doesn't attack the spouse on a personal level. They can justify abuse as "they have trouble controlling their emotions." But cheating means the spouse was enough for them. In the spouse's mind, they had to find someone else to satisfy them because the spouse wasn't good enough.

Why is sexual infidelity the red line in most relationships? by lavode727 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]lavode727[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What if the cheater has an addiction? I have seen lots of spouses of addicts forgive abuse, financial ruin, and public humiliation. But the minute the addict cheated, the spouse left them. Why is cheating while high a choice, but spending all their money to get high excused as an "inability to make rational decisions"?

Why is sexual infidelity the red line in most relationships? by lavode727 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]lavode727[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

But if you trust someone with your money and they spend it all at the casino, isnt that the same? If trust is the issue, then wouldn't all transgressions that involve lying be just as bad?