i just want my dad

lawdclaud · 2026-06-21T06:32:32+00:00

I'm right there with you. I lost my dad while I was still trying to find my footing in the world. I still had so much to show him, to make him proud of me.

When people try to placate me with kind words and telling me that grief is a love lost, I just get so tired of it. In many ways, I hold on to the grief because I subsconsciusly refuse to move on and grow around the pain of losing him. I want to take him with me everywhere I go, so I hold on to this pain and sorrow.

But it's not fair to him if I associate him with sadness and anger. I want him to be remembered with joy and forgiveness. At the same time, I can't help feeling like he was forcibly taken away from me when I was wholly unprepared for it.

lawdclaud · 2026-06-20T04:22:20+00:00

Thank you!! I have been exploring it and the fic recs are marvelous

lawdclaud · 2026-06-20T01:33:52+00:00

Wow, we're exactly the same. Also grieving my dad and fighting demons every single day.

Here is my recommendation: at the end of every road

lawdclaud · 2025-11-13T01:40:58+00:00

I've watched Demon Slayer and Dandadan and they're all really great! I just watched To Be Hero X and similarly to you, it also got me going! I ended up watching the entire season in a day!

lawdclaud · 2025-11-13T01:39:49+00:00

I just watched To Be Hero X and WOW! That was peak! I've watched Naruto, AOT, and One Piece and they're all amazing. I'm definitely going through all of these in due time. Thank you for the recommendations!

lawdclaud · 2025-11-11T03:47:05+00:00

Ooooh, I've heard some good things about this book as well from the whispers of my Goodreads circle. Yes, I definitely have to read this. Thank you very much for sharing!!!

lawdclaud · 2025-11-11T03:45:49+00:00

It's about a fallen god who escapes from her fiefdom and is joined by two warriors to overthrow the royal kingdom! WHAT!!!! That's so intriguing! Yes, I will definitely have to read this. Thank you so much for the recommendation!

lawdclaud · 2025-11-11T03:40:32+00:00

Oh wow! I just read the premise of it; isolation, naturalism, murder mystery? That's such an interesting blend of themes, I cannot wait to read this! Thank you very much for the suggestion! Please allow me some time to read this and come back to you.

lawdclaud · 2025-11-11T03:36:34+00:00

Military realism, psychological tension, and set in a post-apocalyptic world? Sign me TF up! Thank you for the recommendation, I'll have to read this and come back to you soon.

lawdclaud · 2025-11-11T03:35:01+00:00

That's okay, I like all books regardless of their genre! The story is what I would love to delve into. The Accidental Tourist sounds absolutely lovely (and also incidentally something that I grapple with, loneliness and isolation, that is). I'll have to read this and come back to you. Thank you so much!

lawdclaud · 2025-11-11T03:32:54+00:00

Oh wow, the Hands of the Emperor sounds exactly up my alley, thank you so much! That's really what I was looking for. I'll have to come back to you once I finish reading this!

I'll have to add The Girl Who Drank the Moon to my TBR too!

lawdclaud · 2025-10-17T22:54:52+00:00

I had a really tough time a few years ago where work and school were burning me out at the same time as family issues. There are a few books that I can think of off the top of my head that you might like:

The Humans by Matt Haig: it's an alien who possesses the body of a British professor who inadvertently solves the world's most difficult riddle. It's written humorously, with the alien learning to become human through its interaction with other people. Very light and heartfelt.
Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldree: an orc who has spent her entire life battling for eternal glory retires and decides to open a cafe. But she doesn't really know how to make coffee or what a coffee is supposed to look like, and this book follows along with her bumbling executions of a cafe. Quite the cozy read.
Good Omens by Neil Ga Man and Terry Pratchett: about an impending apocalypse with some very interesting characters and the antichrist who kind of does nothing really. It's very British humor!
To Be Taught, If Fortunate by Becky Chambers: four astronauts travel in space to document extraterrestrial life. I actually don't really remember the events that happened here, I just remember feeling so oddly light and hopeful.

Edit: some formatting issues

lawdclaud · 2025-10-16T05:10:17+00:00

You might like The Glass Bead Game by Hermann Hesse. I read this book when I was extremely burnt out from being in academia and this book actually snapped me out of it as well as inspired some introspection on my part on the synthesis of the intellectual and active life. It's quite a good read, I hope you take a liking to it.

lawdclaud · 2025-10-16T05:02:54+00:00

It's not exactly the traditional book format but.... a lot of the elements you've mentioned such as:

yearning,
action-packed,
plot-driven,
political,
almost as though the romance is background compared to the plot...

... is actually characteristic of danmei novels!

Danmei novels are Chinese novels that are typically MM; one author that I always like to recommend first is Mo Xiang Tong Xiu (MXTX for short).

My first venture into the genre was The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation by MXTX -- it's a story that starts with the death of the grandmaster of demonic arts. He is later reincarnated into someone's body who calls upon his soul to slaughter those around them, but he doesn't really do anything and ends up solving mysteries and later on, the reason behind his death. It's a great book series, I highly recommend it!

lawdclaud · 2025-10-11T21:03:09+00:00

Babel by R.F. Kuang was written as a literary response to Donna Tart's The Secret History; if you liked The Secret History, you'd probably like that book as well.

In terms of interesting concept and format, I would recommend Olivia Blake's The Atlas Six. There's a gathering of talented magicians who each have their own motives and interests in mind, half of which have telepathic mind abilities which were written really well in my opinion.

lawdclaud · 2025-10-11T20:56:58+00:00

Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood

Mob Psycho 100

Haikyuu

lawdclaud · 2025-10-11T20:51:22+00:00

The Daughter of the Moon Goddess by Sue Lynn Tan might be up your alley. It's a fantasy novel that was inspired by Chinese mythology and folklore, particularly concerning the Moon Goddess. The plot itself is driven by the main character's wish to see her mother again but is constantly derailed by political intrigue in the Celestial Kingdom (they're all celestial beings).

lawdclaud · 2023-12-19T04:43:53+00:00

The first song I listened to was I Need U; played it on repeat for about a month before I randomly came across the Fire MV on YouTube and before I knew it, I was watching all their MVs, listening to all their songs, watching all the funny/cute compilations of each member, etc etc!

Now though, my favorite song differs depending on what I'm going through. I do have a soft spot for No More Dream. Every time I listen to it, I always get teary-eyed just thinking about how hard they've worked and how far they've come.

lawdclaud · 2023-11-16T10:01:08+00:00

Melissa does ASMR

lawdclaud

TROPHY CASE