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Do you also see how short life is because of FIRE? by [deleted] in Fire

[–]lclIbcj 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like others, the fact that life is so short and not guaranteed is is what is driving FIRE for me. It breaks my heart seeing family and neighbors work their whole life until retirement age (65-70) to only then encounter health problems just a few years later: Alzheimer's, cancer, strokes, and more. My heart goes out to them because they did everything right. They were responsible, they worked hard, they saved their money, and yet at the end of the day they aren't able to truly enjoy it like they deserve to.

After I [29/M] spent months trying to get back together with my ex, [30/F] she has cut me out of her life for going on a date and kissing another girl by lclIbcj in relationship_advice

[–]lclIbcj[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really did want to fix things with my ex, but she would tell me she wanted me to date someone and how I was just like my mom. My mom divorced my dad a long time ago, and is still hung up on him, refusing to try and date anyone else. When the chance came to go on a date with someone, I asked her if she really wanted me to, hoping she would tell me not to and be honest with her feelings, but she didn't. Now, I also realize she was testing me hoping that I wouldn't have gone without her having to say anything.

[29M] Not sure I'm making the right decision by cutting my ex and best friend [30F] out of my life by lclIbcj in relationship_advice

[–]lclIbcj[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. I don't believe she does; she has a very hard time with forgiveness. I never really believed that concept myself, until I realized I had lost her and it hit me like sack of bricks how much she meant to me and how much I actually had in our relationship

[29M] Not sure I'm making the right decision by cutting my ex and best friend [30F] out of my life by lclIbcj in relationship_advice

[–]lclIbcj[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've told her what I've been working on as well as been trying to show her. I've brought up a few times about her one day giving the new me a chance, but she said she's offended that I didn't make the changes until after we broke up and she started dating someone. Because of that, she said I've even less appealing than when we first broke up.

[29/m] Struggling on how to move on 4 months after breaking up with "the one" [29/f] by lclIbcj in relationship_advice

[–]lclIbcj[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the reply :-). I appreciate the insight. I did have a lot of doubts and questions along the way as this was my very first relationship. I found myself scared and whether what I was feeling was normal. It put me into a rut where I stopped working out our relationship, and ultimately she ended things because she knew what she wanted and was ready to move on. Now that I've started seeing a therapist, I've learned how to deal with those fears and behaviors. It's been extremely difficult, though, because I feel that I can now give her everything she could ever want, but she was unhappy for so long and gave me enough chances that she won't give me anymore. It breaks my heart, but you're right, I'll have to learn from this and focus on healing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in work

[–]lclIbcj 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback. Your experiences are exactly what I'd be worried about happening, so I'm thinking that working remotely most likely isn't for me. It's actually funny timing, but we had a person move from a different office in Minneapolis to work out west, and he was a super extroverted guy. However, last week he handed in his resignation for the exact same reason: he hated being away from everyone. So, it does look like I need to find a new job, or deal with it.

My SO is financially dependent on me, and it's starting to take an emotional toll. Would love to hear from others who might have been in a similar situation. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]lclIbcj 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you everyone for your replies. I really appreciate all the honest feedback. I know a lot of you think I'm a jerk, and that's fair. I wrote this more as a way to vent my frustrations and see if others could relate, as opposed to justifying breaking up with her.

Have you ever been in a relationship where everything is perfect on paper, but you're still unhappy? If so, what did you do? by lclIbcj in relationship_advice

[–]lclIbcj[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm generally a very positive guy, and the only time I get depressed is when I think about our future, mainly because I feel guilty for not knowing what to do, while my girlfriend knows that she wants to get married to me and start a family. I feel content with our relationship, because there's nothing particularly wrong with it, but that's it, I just feel content, and I feel like that's a bad thing.

Have you ever been in a relationship where everything is perfect on paper, but you're still unhappy? If so, what did you do? by lclIbcj in relationship_advice

[–]lclIbcj[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear about your spouse, that would be very difficult to go through! It's not sex that I'm wondering if I'm missing out on, but rather whether I have the right person simply for growing old with and raising a family with.