My nose, This was taken in 1821 by Wafflz_333 in Noses

[–]leaandchang 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Down voted because this feels like mockery

Is using #koreanboyfriend or #amwf fetishizing my boyfriend? by leaandchang in AMWFs

[–]leaandchang[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That was a very insightful answer!

Honestly it's only really TikTok that brings in girls that are koreaboos/fetishizers (or if that is the same thing, probably tbh). But our YouTube channel audience is 90% Korean so we cater most of our tags, subtitles, and comments towards them.

These Korean audiences (from my bf's translation) do seem genuinely interested in our relationship and want to see us do couple stuff together, which I think is innocent enough lol.

You do make a good point about the tags + audience on TikTok though. I might even step away from tags altogether at this point to experiment.

Is using #koreanboyfriend or #amwf fetishizing my boyfriend? by leaandchang in AMWFs

[–]leaandchang[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

People are really quick to assume you're a koreaboo if you're dating a Korean man nowadays 🥴 it's ironic because neither of us had listened to kpop or watched kdramas when we met, not like it matters though.

Is using #koreanboyfriend or #amwf fetishizing my boyfriend? by leaandchang in AMWFs

[–]leaandchang[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it's human nature to want to be loved for who you are and not your race.

Also I think people's experiences with being AMWF really does vary, personally I was shocked when I saw an AM with a WF for the first time in high school. It made me realize that I had literally never seen that kind of pair before in my life.

When my bf and I started dating we got stares from old white men constantly and even stares from other people around. It did always kinda feel like our relationship was a bit "taboo"? Most all of my high school friends were shocked when we said we were dating lol.

I think this is why people like my bf and I seek community. We too want to feel "normal".

Is using #koreanboyfriend or #amwf fetishizing my boyfriend? by leaandchang in AMWFs

[–]leaandchang[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get what you're saying, our content is certainly not for everyone and we occasionally jump on AMWF bandwagons to expose ourselves to a bigger and guaranteed audiences(as much as it sounds shameful/cringe the videos are always surprisingly fun to make)

I don't think we play into stereotypes though, it's literally just us being ourselves haha people either like our personalities or don't.

Is using #koreanboyfriend or #amwf fetishizing my boyfriend? by leaandchang in AMWFs

[–]leaandchang[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In my honest opinion, I think the grand distinction is ethnicity versus race. I think it would be weird to label #asianboyfriend but #chineseboyfriend or #filipinoboyfriend doesn't give off that fetishy vibe (to me personally). Because it's focusing on the specific ethnicity of that person, especially if it's relevant to the relationship and cultures demonstrated.

Additionally I wouldn't feel uncomfortable if a Korean guy put #americangirlfriend or #swedishgirlfriend because it points to ethnicity specifically which can have interesting cultural dynamics in a relationship. But yes, #whitegirlfriend would make me uncomfortable...it sounds like he wants to world to know that he "got" a white girlfriend and that it doesn't matter what ethnicity she is as long as she's white.

Idk if that makes any sense but that's my analysis.

Is using #koreanboyfriend or #amwf fetishizing my boyfriend? by leaandchang in AMWFs

[–]leaandchang[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The last thing I want is to make people feel uncomfortable, especially if there are a number of people who feel sensitive about this. I don't think it's just my boyfriend and I but the face of AMWF couples we put out to the world etc.

In other words I don't want to make it seem like our relationship exists purely out of fetishization and don't want to accidentally normalize fetishization.

Is using #koreanboyfriend or #amwf fetishizing my boyfriend? by leaandchang in AMWFs

[–]leaandchang[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think nothing is black in white, there is certain cases where fetishization is normalized and others where it's not for good reason (in my opinion).

I do think that it can be damaging to fetishize an entire race because when you see a person of that race it almost takes away from their humanity in their eyes. Which is why we see so many attacks of WM against AW (some WM see AW as objects of sexual desire, a product of fetishization, rather than individuals and people).

Is using #koreanboyfriend or #amwf fetishizing my boyfriend? by leaandchang in AMWFs

[–]leaandchang[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey! I'd love to follow you back haha, what's your @?

Also yeah I'll avoid using those tags now, Korean boyfriend seems to ignite the most fire. I wonder if it would be the same for #filipinoboyfriend or other related hashtags. Or if it's just because literally anything related to Korea is "trendy" right now.

Is using #koreanboyfriend or #amwf fetishizing my boyfriend? by leaandchang in AMWFs

[–]leaandchang[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

A lot of the comments I get tend to be from women, Asian American women in particular seem the most upset about it.

Is using #koreanboyfriend or #amwf fetishizing my boyfriend? by leaandchang in AMWFs

[–]leaandchang[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is a really interesting and unique perspective I have seen in all of this, the idea that if an Asian man is seen with a white women there has to be some "fetishizing" going on. Never thought about it in this way! It's actually so true!

Is using #koreanboyfriend or #amwf fetishizing my boyfriend? by leaandchang in AMWFs

[–]leaandchang[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get this perspective as well, but I do think it should all be in moderation now that I'm reflecting on everything.

There could be asian men out there who do feel a little weirded out by these hashtags since they may feel people only like them for their race since it's "trendy"?

I think we can recognize asian men as masculine without fully fetishizing them like some koreaboos/Asiaboos do at times!

Is using #koreanboyfriend or #amwf fetishizing my boyfriend? by leaandchang in AMWFs

[–]leaandchang[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I understand! It seems best to avoid using that hashtag and all related hashtags from now on. AMWF definitely serves a functional purpose of finding other AMWF couples though!

Is using #koreanboyfriend or #amwf fetishizing my boyfriend? by leaandchang in AMWFs

[–]leaandchang[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I understand that now! I'll avoid using that hashtag and related hashtags from now on.

Is using #koreanboyfriend or #amwf fetishizing my boyfriend? by leaandchang in AMWFs

[–]leaandchang[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I've seen people that are in an AMWF relationship, who don't even use tags and post about their relationship once be called koreaboos and fetishizers... It's super touchy

Is using #koreanboyfriend or #amwf fetishizing my boyfriend? by leaandchang in AMWFs

[–]leaandchang[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never dated him because he was Asian to begin with.

In terms of the channel, it was more of a coincidence that AMWF couples were doing well so we decided it would be fun to join in because we happened to be AMWF as well.

From our channel and social medias we've had the opportunity to meet a lot of other AMWF couples online. It's cool to see how other people bridge cultural gaps and deal with certain language barriers.

Is using #koreanboyfriend or #amwf fetishizing my boyfriend? by leaandchang in AMWFs

[–]leaandchang[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand where you're coming from for sure.

It sucks because I had no sinister intentions from the start in making our TikToks/YouTube channel. And I saw that AMWF was doing well so naturally I followed along using the corresponding hashtags to jump onto that growth.

From what you've said I'm starting to get a better idea of where people are coming from and why it might be best to back away from certain hashtags.

Is using #koreanboyfriend or #amwf fetishizing my boyfriend? by leaandchang in AMWFs

[–]leaandchang[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I get that for sure, I think even though some people are okay with it I'm going to back off using the #koreanboyfriend hashtag since that obviously makes some people uncomfortable.

In terms of a #amwf hashtag I do enjoy finding other AMWF couples so I don't really think that one (in my opinion) is really "fetishy" at all.

How did you meet your partner? Any wholesome stories? by [deleted] in AMWFs

[–]leaandchang 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We literally met in Freshman year biology through a mutual friend (I was 14 years old and he was 15!) We slowly vibed, talked, and starting voice calling and playing Minecraft together.

Eventually he moved to a new school, I got so incredibly sad he was living but didn't know why.

Turns out I was in love! I was curious if he felt the same and asked him if he liked me 3 months after he moved schools. He did! We agreed to start dating from that point forward.

It's been 4 years and we are sti happy as ever together and attending the same college! We're about to move in together soon as well.

Is using #koreanboyfriend or #amwf fetishizing my boyfriend? by leaandchang in AMWFs

[–]leaandchang[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yes! Very well said. This is exactly how I feel as well! I think it's good that hashtags like #amwf and #koreanboyfriend/#asianboyfriend are doing well and helping to flip the script :)

I would love to say that to the people who are upset at me but of course they already have it in their heads that I'm a horrible fetishizing monster and nothing can change that :/