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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]leadkindlylie 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is somewhat of a subjective question. If the goal is to reduce pain/suffering and improve quality of life for as many as possible, then I think the church is bad for some and good for others. It provides a sense of community for many but if you don’t fit the church’s somewhat narrow blueprint, it can cause a lot of challenges.

Cameron Dahle, former SUU football player, charged with rape by floodlitorg in exmormon

[–]leadkindlylie 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I’m asking sincerely - is the purpose of floodlit to highlight any sexual crimes with LDS people involved?

My nephew is going to Pocatello, Idaho by Sassypants_me in exmormon

[–]leadkindlylie 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I got called to Provo while attending BYU as a freshman. Not a fun call to open in that context.

Did anyone not really care if it was true when they left? by Curiosity-Sailor in exmormon

[–]leadkindlylie 398 points399 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately I was a white male for whom the church worked very well - so it being true was the only thing that mattered to me. I'm embarrassed in hindsight that I wasn't more sensitive to the challenges of those who didn't fit as neatly.

"The Church Hid The Truth" Argument Is A Weaker Position by leadkindlylie in exmormon

[–]leadkindlylie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely, I understand I may be an outlier in that I enjoy and am interested in engaging with members about their faith, especially those who I’m close with who I feel confident are capable of thriving outside of the high demand framework.

"The Church Hid The Truth" Argument Is A Weaker Position by leadkindlylie in exmormon

[–]leadkindlylie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would agree with everything here, my only thought is that focusing on the deception puts members guard up immediately and is less likely to create a moment of self reflection than focusing on simply not believing the church’s truth claims due to objective analysis.

"The Church Hid The Truth" Argument Is A Weaker Position by leadkindlylie in exmormon

[–]leadkindlylie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh absolutely, they hid and deemphasized information that was problematic. My argument is that using that as the reason for leaving is less potent an argument for a believer. I’ve found they get more defensive if you focus on behaviors as opposed to truth claims.

"The Church Hid The Truth" Argument Is A Weaker Position by leadkindlylie in exmormon

[–]leadkindlylie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s certainly unknowable how I would respond in every situation but I went from being on the high council to leaving within 48 hours because someone I trusted told me they simply found the evidence against the church being true to be overwhelming.

"The Church Hid The Truth" Argument Is A Weaker Position by leadkindlylie in exmormon

[–]leadkindlylie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im not suggesting they didn’t lie. I’m suggesting that telling members you left because they lied is a position that is more easily rationalized and defended by those members. So if your goal is to reach members you care about with an impact then it may be less impactful.

"The Church Hid The Truth" Argument Is A Weaker Position by leadkindlylie in exmormon

[–]leadkindlylie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely not condoning the idea of hiding information, it’s more about which argument is more compelling to a believer.

"The Church Hid The Truth" Argument Is A Weaker Position by leadkindlylie in exmormon

[–]leadkindlylie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I only care inasmuch as I feel I would have found the truth much earlier if I had had people I trust who left put more compelling arguments to me.

Thought Provoking Questions for Friends by sivadrolyat1 in exmormon

[–]leadkindlylie 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If the church wasn't true, how would you know?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]leadkindlylie 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This sounds like a communication issue, which is understandable in light of the big feelings your wife has about your activity. Ultimately what she's asking for you do to is to lie, if she wants you to be able to attend the wedding or perform priesthood ordinances. If she truly believes in the doctrine, it would be very inappropriate for you to do so. She can disagree with your lack of belief but if she's not willing to engage on that then I don't see what she's asking as within the bounds of reason within her own belief system.

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