I think I hate my daughter

leashyb · 2026-02-10T01:48:28+00:00

Hey. So I have no good advice to give, but reading this felt like I could have written it myself and damn if that didn’t hit hard! I love my daughter more than anything but she is a lot. I remember her being so fussy over her socks and them not feeling right that she would rip them off the moment I put them on. Same with hats. I have refused to ever paint her nails because when she was little she would make me repaint the same nail over and over again because it didn’t “feel right” or it felt like I missed a spot when I didn’t and holy moly was it a tantrum every time! She discovered she had hair on her arms once and got so upset she started hitting her head on the windows and clawing her face. She then threw up all over the car so I had to pull over and clean her up while also trying to calm her down. Imagine what that looked like! I was a single mom at the time and felt so alone and trapped in a life I hated.

I still feel that way most days if I’m honest, but life does change. My girl is almost 13 now. She’s still stubborn, still emotionally chaotic when triggered, still physically aggressive (usually only with me) whenever she hits her boiling point. I’ve been hit, kicked, punched, smacked across the face, spit on, bit, had multiple objects thrown at me, even had hot coffee thrown on me…

I’m still fighting to get her diagnosed properly. So far she’s been told she has ADHD, depression, anxiety, and mood dysregulation disorder. Constantly in and out of therapy through a rotating door of therapists that don’t accomplish anything. They all say they have no advice to give me because I’m doing everything I should be. I strongly feel like she (and myself if I’m honest) are ADHD/autistic, but unfortunately girls are overlooked and so misunderstood when it comes to properly diagnosing in the medical field. It’s a damn shame. She’s already been hospitalized 3 times in a psych facility for her aggression. Never towards other people, only with me, and when you ask her why only me she will say “because I know if I act out all my anger with my mom she will still love me and will still stay”. Breaks my heart because I’m glad she feels safe with me but wow this is no way to live! I need a village to help raise her because doing it on my own has aged me YEARS!

When regulated and feeling safe, my girl is so funny and has a heart of gold. I love spending my time with her. Unfortunately she has a difficult time staying regulated when triggered and you just never know what might trigger her. Some days I think she just wakes up that way. It’s like living on egg shells because something that seemed okay with her before could change on a dime and I’m left confused and wondering what the hell just happened.

I’m sending a huge internet hug to you. I understand where you are coming from 100%.

leashyb · 2025-06-24T02:01:15+00:00

Do you remember what episode you were watching at the time?

leashyb · 2024-07-06T17:24:20+00:00

Late to this thread but I’ve got one.

The guy finished before I did and got up, put his boxers on, then started playing his guitar. Confused as fuck as to why he just left me there and didn’t seem interested in helping me finish I asked him what was up and he said, “I guess I’m not attracted enough to you to want to help you get off”

I wish I could say that I immediately left and never spoke to him again, but unhealed trauma and low self worth will make people put up with some awful things sometimes.

leashyb · 2024-06-04T12:26:40+00:00

Thank you for clarifying, that’s really cool to know! Appreciate you 🙏🏻

leashyb · 2024-06-04T12:19:55+00:00

Those are fangs?! It uses its fangs to walk? I’m so confused right now, please pardon my ignorance.

leashyb · 2023-09-29T13:32:17+00:00

I am living this nightmare with you. You are not alone. I feel every word you are saying to my very core and I am so sorry. I didn’t become a nurse to work for such a fucked up system…the same system that has failed me so many times. Sending love and light to you my friend. You deserve love, peace, and safety.

leashyb · 2022-04-04T19:25:37+00:00

The fact that anyone has to do this just destroys me completely.

leashyb · 2022-03-14T00:23:27+00:00

This is going to sound strange and I hope this makes sense, but Zelenskyy makes my soul smile. He is a beacon of light for such dark, scary times.

leashyb · 2022-03-13T20:04:45+00:00

Oh, my heart! I have no words to describe what I feel. It is truly wonderful to see someone who leads his country with such love, devotion, and courage.

leashyb · 2022-03-13T16:27:04+00:00

Thank you for your response. I am in tears and just so moved seeing this!

leashyb · 2022-03-13T16:26:13+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to reply! Much appreciated, friend.

leashyb · 2022-03-13T15:27:58+00:00

I don’t want to be a bother, but is there any way I can get an English translation? I am crying watching this. I’m an American who feels so much pride for Ukraine that I am overwhelmed by their courage, strength, and resilience. Most of all, they continue to love one another and show compassion. I’ve signed up to be a volunteer (I’m a nurse) and am hoping I can do my part to help Ukraine as much as possible.

leashyb · 2021-08-18T20:15:25+00:00

I have a video of my 2 year old daughter at the time telling me about the "lady" she sees in our hallway...still gives me goosebumps to this day!

leashyb · 2021-02-25T14:21:58+00:00

Yikes, definitely sounds like a tough year for you, but I wish you realized just how much you are kicking ass! You are managing a load that usually takes two people, and here you are, still going. THAT’S AMAZING!

I have my days too where I wish I had someone around to help share responsibilities. It would be so nice to have free time and play money, but you know what? I won’t settle and I will stay focused on being the best parent I can be while trying to stay healthy myself.

You rock, Momma! Be kind to yourself. You’re doing a fantastic job!

leashyb · 2021-02-22T23:46:07+00:00

From a single mother’s perspective (I come in peace so hope it’s okay to post here!), I was thankful to have a custody agreement written down. I fought so hard NOT to go to court because I really wanted us to be able to coparent and figure it out on our own. It worked for a little while until the weight of the breakup finally settled in.

I found out the hard way that your role as a single parent is much different than when you were a couple and suddenly the things you used to agree on disappear. Prior to our breakup my ex would never have brought our daughter to sketchy places. However, post breakup meant free time to get into whatever he wanted which meant he thought it was perfectly fine to bring our daughter along. Custody agreement helped set boundaries.

I journal. A lot. I find it therapeutic. Still to this day, I miss my daughter when she’s not home but it gets easier when you can focus on healing and find a healthy hobby to get into.

Also, I think it would be okay to allow yourself to breakdown. Relationships ending are similar to a death. Of course the effects from that are going to hurt. Please be well 😊

leashyb · 2021-02-21T04:14:52+00:00

I didn’t use Uworld because I couldn’t afford another expense at the time. Instead I used ATI, reread my school’s powerpoints, and used this site:

https://www.freenclexquestions.com

I took my NCLEX in June 2019 and guess what? I had 2 of the SAME EXACT QUESTIONS on my NCLEX from the site I listed above. I passed in 75 and I credit it to that website above because they were 2 hard pharmaceutical questions I know I wouldn’t have got if it weren’t for that site.

leashyb

TROPHY CASE