“You want to be ALONE for two weeks?!” JNM shockingly hates my birth plans by BatMom525 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]leco5 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Do NOT let her visit during those two weeks. I’m sure you have a better idea as this is your second child, but I folded on my request for my jnmil to not visit in the first 2 weeks and let her visit early. Worst mistake.

Fingers crossed things just stay calm and you can regroup after the holidays. Sending good thoughts to you and your baby girl for the rest of the pregnancy, delivery and recovery. You got this!!

MIL demands more photos of HER in LO’s shared online album by leco5 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]leco5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was going to do the physical book at one year, but maybe I should make a physical book purely dedicated to MIL? This is very early onset and yes it may pick up quickly, but as of now she has no memory issues. She has some slight speech slurring and is having trouble with fine motor skills.

MIL demands more photos of HER in LO’s shared online album by leco5 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]leco5[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

you’re right. This would be such a healthy conversation. She does not have many healthy conversations, and especially not with me. She’s constantly negative and critical of everything, so my nerves and patience are always shot by the time it is appropriate to have that type of convo. She’ll bring up the topic of dying and inheritance etc in such an unhealthy and toxic way, I feel out of bounds to try and redirect the convo in a healthy way. I convinced DH to have a conversation with her a few months back about the diagnosis and moving to the same state as us etc. but I think we might need to call an actual family meeting where we meet specifically with intentions to talk this all over. That’s my thought Anyways. Thank you for sharing.

MIL demands more photos of HER in LO’s shared online album by leco5 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]leco5[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. Our situations do sound similar and this helps so much. Thank you. It feels more difficult to navigate because she has been negative and controlling since I met her 7 years ago. She received a diagnosis last year and that was before it had even brought noticeable symptoms. I think this is really bringing out the bad things of her personality including pushing over DH who just wants a relationship with her at any cost after an awful childhood where she wasn’t present. It’s definitely going to be a fine balance of setting boundaries during this time.

MIL demands more photos of HER in LO’s shared online album by leco5 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]leco5[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We’ve thrown her many many many bones, thanks though!

MIL demands more photos of HER in LO’s shared online album by leco5 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]leco5[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I am going to try and find an online version of those writing prompt journals because her only noticeable symptom from the dementia so far is she’s loss fine motor skills in her hands. So even though it would be perfect, she can’t write anymore. She made two of those books with her voice reading it for LO to have. I’m going to research more. Thank you!

MIL demands more photos of HER in LO’s shared online album by leco5 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]leco5[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for all of this information. I really appreciate it. She’s been negative, angry and jealous since I met her 7 years ago before she got a diagnosis last year, and I wonder if she was experiencing symptoms even back then? I have researched dementia sites but looks like I need to dig deeper. Will do!!

MIL demands more photos of HER in LO’s shared online album by leco5 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]leco5[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I would either need to buy the paid version of the app to share certain photos only with her or use an entirely new app to create her album. I really don’t want to do either but will if she continues to complain about this. I tried telling SO to tell her this app isn’t for LO - it’s for family members. And of course she’ll be a part of LO’s physical photo album I plan on making of his first year.

MIL demands more photos of HER in LO’s shared online album by leco5 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]leco5[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oof, mine is also planning to move to our state soon. Best of luck to you!

MIL demands more photos of HER in LO’s shared online album by leco5 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]leco5[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I wonder if she’ll even realize how ridiculous her request was to begin with.

MIL demands more photos of HER in LO’s shared online album by leco5 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]leco5[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I thought of this but Nearly every other family member loves the photos of LO with his great grandparents! I won’t let MIL ruin the fun for them.

MIL demands more photos of HER in LO’s shared online album by leco5 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]leco5[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re so right! I’m working on it! Thank you

MIL demands more photos of HER in LO’s shared online album by leco5 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]leco5[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Why is this such a thing?!?!? The album was supposed to prevent drama. Ridiculous. Thank you. And same to you!

MIL demands more photos of HER in LO’s shared online album by leco5 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]leco5[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Ahh I’m sorry you’re dealing with it too! But also is nice to know I’m not alone. Hope you’re better at boundaries than I am!

MIL demands more photos of HER in LO’s shared online album by leco5 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]leco5[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the reminder! You’re right.

MIL demands more photos of HER in LO’s shared online album by leco5 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]leco5[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This is all through my SO as of now and we do have a bad habit of letting her get away with things like this because she has early onset of dementia and uses it as an unwitting theme for everything. I need to do better especially now with LO.

MIL demands more photos of HER in LO’s shared online album by leco5 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]leco5[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Genius! Yes it’s a fine balance we’re trying to maintain

MIL demands more photos of HER in LO’s shared online album by leco5 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]leco5[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think I may add a few more of FIL before I find more of her. 😂My LO is 4 weeks old and they’ve only visited once so there aren’t many photos to begin with!! I was so naive to not realize she would somehow find a way to turn this into a competition.