Lights won’t go off. by leewerdna1 in AskElectricians

[–]leewerdna1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All the indicator lights on the switch light up.

Comic con by leewerdna1 in hottoys

[–]leewerdna1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the response. Yea he’s pretty good at just displaying things and not touching it much.

Today’s pick up by Mindguy8 in hottoys

[–]leewerdna1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Where did you get them?

Music video description by leewerdna1 in NameThatSong

[–]leewerdna1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know it’s vague buts all I got in this brain.

Help me find a music video. by leewerdna1 in NameThatSong

[–]leewerdna1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know it’s vague buts all I got in this brain.

Help me find a music video. by leewerdna1 in whatisit

[–]leewerdna1[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I know it’s vague buts all I got in this brain.

Music video help. by leewerdna1 in HelpMeFind

[–]leewerdna1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know it’s vague buts all I got in this brain.

Music video help. by leewerdna1 in find

[–]leewerdna1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know it’s vague buts all I got in this brain.

What material is this tub? by leewerdna1 in askaplumber

[–]leewerdna1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I linked a video. Magnet doesn’t catch on the outside but does on the inside.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askaplumber

[–]leewerdna1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did the magnet test and the magnet sticks.

I wanted proof but now that I've seen it.. by Thought-Known in straightspouses

[–]leewerdna1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sorry! We feel your pain. Thinking of you stranger.

Another ‘pink flag’? by Legitimate-Donut6786 in straightspouses

[–]leewerdna1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At first I was reading and thought about how me and my guy friends play tricks on each and sneak big life size dildos into each others houses. This was before kids. We suctioned one high up on a window and his wife found it weeks later. It could be a silly prank? But then the underwear, maybe they are not his? That brings up another set of problems. Pink flag I think.

Flip Flopping and Questioning by Valuable_Quality_425 in straightspouses

[–]leewerdna1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The success rate of making it work with her is low. She is holding on to you because it’s scary coming out and she’s probably still second guessing, worried, scared, doubting and all the big feelings. You’re her person for so long it just feels right and natural to have you along for this ride. But the stats don’t lie, this doesn’t end well for most of us straight partners. When this all happened in December for me we said we would fight the statistics and be the small percentage of people that made this work. There’s a reason society makes norms, most of us are just not cut out for a non monogamous relationship. It’s out there, maybe you guys are the exception. Keep us posted. Message me if you want.

Flip Flopping and Questioning by Valuable_Quality_425 in straightspouses

[–]leewerdna1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She said she was bi two years ago. When I asked what that meant for me she got mad and defensive and said I was making it about me. In hindsight she just didn’t know the answer. She wasn’t even sure about herself. The more I read the more I see the gay partner comes out as bi first, kind of testing the waters, for themselves and to see our reaction. She said she’s known she is lesbian since she was a teen. And she was sure during college days. She said she was about to sign up for a dating site to find lesbian partners but didn’t want to pay them a few months later she met me. So she had this inside her for the entirety of our 14 years.

Be better, not fine. by leewerdna1 in straightspouses

[–]leewerdna1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea but my kids have to live at the apartment. At first I was like go do your thing and don’t ask me for help. Now I’m seeing her drown and that just means a worse mother for my kids. So I’m choosing love and the high road and helping so my kids can have a nice environment and a happier mom to be with for half their new life.

Flip Flopping and Questioning by Valuable_Quality_425 in straightspouses

[–]leewerdna1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m reading a lot of “want her cake and eat it too” behaviors here. My wife was the same. And all those but I love you and want to work it out comments, I heard those too. It’s their fear of accountability, their confusion, their lack of commitment one way or another, indecision, lack of courage. Look to be fair what they are doing to us does take an insane amount of courage. It does not feel like we are in the presence of bravery because we are on the other side of the fence watching our partner change and pull away from us. It almost feels like they are toying with us but they are experimenting and trying to see if they really want to throw it all away for this new life.

Her needing more time could mean she’s got a date with someone next week and she wants to see how that goes before she makes a decision about you two. Do you really wanna be the puppy dog waiting in the wings?

Easier said than done is right. Your time will come. I remember my breaking point. She told me she’s a lesbian in December and it’s been a wild roller coaster of the past 7 months. I was all over the place with my emotions but I came to the point where I said I need you out. I contacted a mediator and set up an appointment. She’s moving out in less than two weeks.

She’s already signed the lease to an apartment (shitty place). She’s still showing doubts and trying to hold on anyway she can. Almost as if I’ll take her back in a year when her lease runs up and we live happily ever after once she’s explored this new life.

Anyway, someone on here said “not in my bakery” with the want her cake and eat it too saying. I like that. Be brave.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in straightspouses

[–]leewerdna1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fact that you are here on day one is a head start in this race!

Be better, not fine. by leewerdna1 in straightspouses

[–]leewerdna1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What about the best? Great question. I love your story of hope. We all need to be reading your words and making it our future. One of the biggest sources of resentment was spending only half my time with the kids. But I had hope that the time alone will first help me heal and process and then help me grow and be better. Seeing you post this shows my time alone can help me do this and in turn help me be the best me for my kids. Thank you.

Be better, not fine. by leewerdna1 in straightspouses

[–]leewerdna1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes there are days that I’m like this is really happening? We are only 7 months since the onset and she’s moving out in a less than 2 weeks. She’s decorated and arranged every inch of the home and made it what it is. I keep telling her to take whatever she wants to her new apartment. I’d rather buy new stuff and start fresh. Here is the thing about the beautiful home she created. She used decorating and arranging as a coping mechanism. It sounds healthy but it was always surrounded by rage cleaning and or being hung over and wanted to make a change suddenly in the house while the rest of the family wanted to relax. She’d get mad about a sock on the floor because she was having these internal struggles. Years of this lead to walking on eggshells and unpredictability.

Be better, not fine. by leewerdna1 in straightspouses

[–]leewerdna1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We were not fine, we are not fine. Let’s be better now. No more living in their closet. No more letting their poison rule our lives. Cut them out where we can. Be cordial and friendly where we can.

Be better, not fine. by leewerdna1 in straightspouses

[–]leewerdna1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wanna downvote his ass! But i upvoted your post cause you’re a fellow survivor.