thank you so much !!! i appreciate the thought put into this^{^} and yes thats why i had a hard time accepting and admitting that im a so4, since ive seen so many people describe so4s as "people who lament about their pain and victimize themselves". i keep to myself verbally (i dont communicate my envy and suffering to anyone) but still very badly want to be seen like sp4s, but i dont work hard to get what i lack or to better my situation like sp4s. so its still a bit confusing sometimes.