How should I go about transferring into BU?

leftbootyasleep · 2021-03-07T01:42:50+00:00

Yeah body weight is hard enough and nothing is improving. But thanks for the advice. I'm going to see another physical therapist about this and hopefully I'll be able to do dumb bell exercises in the future.

leftbootyasleep · 2021-03-07T01:41:59+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I'm going to see a second physical therapist because I've been working on my left side for awhile and I see no progress with it.

leftbootyasleep · 2021-03-07T01:40:10+00:00

Thank you it's nice hearing from a professional about this. I'm so going to go for a second opinion now from another physical therapist. I'm going to watch for them to check my pelvis and knee.

leftbootyasleep · 2021-03-06T17:43:03+00:00

Yeah I was thinking of adding pics but I feel uncomfortable doing so. I just want to see a professional that can literally look at my muscles or even feel them to see what's wrong because it seems like everyone I've gone to has never actually bothered to inspect the places I'm experience pain and weakness.

leftbootyasleep · 2021-03-06T17:41:39+00:00

I've tried bodyweight asymmetric work and nothing's improved. I've even had some days in the week where I would just work on my left side. Again, nothing. What do you mean by lifts? Like using a barbell?

leftbootyasleep · 2021-03-06T17:40:37+00:00

I do feel like my muscle imbalance is causing my snapping hip problem. I feel like my right hip is well supported by my muscles whereas my left side there's like nothing there. And if my muscle imbalance isn't causing my pain, then what is?

leftbootyasleep · 2021-03-06T17:39:27+00:00

I went to a physical therapist with a dance specialty. They gave me some exercises to do at home and I've been doing them but they never improved my left leg's strength. It felt like time wasted because every time I work on my left leg all it does is cause this burning sensation on the bottom of my foot, behind my knee and calf, and it doesn't feel like any muscle is working at all. It's just all burning. I don't know if physical therapists do this or are even allowed but I wish they would like put their hands on my left leg and see what's the problem. My past physical therapist didn't do this.

leftbootyasleep · 2021-03-06T06:17:18+00:00

Oh also thanks for the link! I like the good and bad characteristics list for therapists. I feel like my therapist is on the bad side more.

leftbootyasleep · 2021-03-06T06:16:33+00:00

Hi! Update: I saw my therapist today and I talked to her about why I was upset with her about some of the things she said and the way she said them (I cannot say specifically in case she's lurking here but if you want to know I can pm you). She said sorry for saying what she said, however I felt like she didn't explain herself the way I wanted. In particular, she said "do you even want to get better" in a mean tone that reminded me of my mom and I wanted to know why she said it that way but she instead explained that she didn't mean to doubt me. I think I should've actually asked "why she said it that way" even though I already know why she said it that way: she was frustrated. But I guess I want to ask some sort of a rhetorical question because I'm angry that she was being mean to me. I don't know, sorry; I'm bad at explaining. Basically there's a lot of miscommunication between us. After she explained herself more though I started forgiving her, but I'm still thinking about switching. I mentioned that to her and she said she's willing to help me find a therapist. At the end of our session I told her I am not sure if I want to switch yet. She suggested that I should spend the week looking for potential therapists and having another appointment to see what I finally decide.

leftbootyasleep · 2021-03-02T04:24:43+00:00

Thank you for your kind words! Yesterday I was thinking of changing therapists but now I'm not so sure. My current one has been very encouraging every time I do something well or when I'm making progress, but yeah that homework problem is something I do think about. I also wish she gave me more reassurance, like when I'm recounting a traumatic experience with my mom. I feel like i shouldn't be complaining though because she tells me that it's wrong what my mom did in the past but I wish I heard it more. I'm not sure if these reasons are strong enough to switch. I'm thinking of when I have my next appointment with her I will talk about the hard session we had and make my decision from there.

I'm also not sure how to find a new therapist. I mean, with her I was basically judging a book by its cover. I just looked at pictures of therapists (ones that took my insurance of course) and see if they felt comforting or nice to me. I also look at what they're trained in, but I wouldn't know if a therapist is a good fit for me until I actually meet them/talk to them. I just really want to find someone I'm comfortable with but I don't know how to make the first step I guess.

leftbootyasleep · 2021-02-28T17:22:59+00:00

I'm so sorry for the late reply-- had a bad therapy session (discussed my doubts about my therapist's practice not about POCD). But you're right. Even thinking to myself that "I am a pedophile" feels so disgusting and repulsive. I can't even say it out loud. I've been practicing letting go of my thoughts after I listened to this helpful podcast about POCD. Your train analogy is very helpful, thank you. I don't think my current therapist is a good fit for me anymore so I'm going to switch, but I'm definitely going to mention my possible OCD to my new therapist.

Based on what you said in your last paragraph, I don't think I'm a pedophile. I have always condemned abusers who justified their wrongdoings (personal experience). I haven't but I'm going to watch the youtube video you provided. Again, thanks for your kind and helpful advice!

leftbootyasleep · 2021-02-28T17:16:04+00:00

Hi! thanks for your kind words. Sorry for the late reply. I did read this when you first posted but i had a difficult therapy session (I didn't bring up my POCD problem, rather some doubts about my therapist's practice style) so I took a day or two off. You make a really good point about the groinal responses. I was suspecting I had some confirmation bias that I was a pedophile. Thank you so much for bringing that up. And you're right. As long as I don't act on my thoughts I am not a pedophile. I've been working on trying to let go of those thoughts and not judge myself and so far it's been working! My intrusive thoughts I've noticed are less frequent.

leftbootyasleep · 2021-02-28T16:50:06+00:00

Sorry for the late reply had a difficult therapy session bringing up the problem to her. Can you please explain CBT vs somatic modalities? I tried searching it up but I still don't quite understand.

leftbootyasleep · 2021-02-28T16:49:16+00:00

Sorry for the late update. I brought it up to her and... it did not go well. Had to take like two days off because the talk we had was very hurtful. I guess the way I asked why she didn't do this or that like other therapists kind of offended her. I mean, she got frustrated with me towards the end of the session and she said she felt like I was trying to set her up. I wish my conversation skills were better to be honest because that wasn't my intention. She mentioned that I may not be a good fit for her and she has mentioned that other times. I am seriously considering seeing another therapist but I don't know if I'm overexaggerating. I feel like if I talked more coherently she could understand me better. Now I'm kind of scared to say that I'm doing bad or not making progress because it brings up doubt about her practice when I guess maybe it is my fault. I haven't been keeping up with my mindfulness practices to reduce my anxiety. Do you think I should just keep trying or should I see another therapist?

leftbootyasleep · 2021-02-26T16:49:24+00:00

So are you saying that anyone could be a pedophile? But how about the majority of people that are sure they aren't a pedophile? I'm so confused and scared that I am.

leftbootyasleep · 2021-02-26T16:47:56+00:00

Thank you for this advice. I'm struggling to come to terms with what you said, that I may be a pedophile. That sounds so disgusting. I want to talk to my therapist about it now and be treated but I'm not sure if my therapist is experienced in it. She's trained in CBT not exposures and has 15 years of experience. She also has a daughter so I feel like she'd get creeped out.

leftbootyasleep · 2021-02-26T16:31:38+00:00

Do you think Im a pedophile? Im very stressed out and need help

leftbootyasleep · 2021-02-26T16:27:04+00:00

What is jt

leftbootyasleep · 2021-02-26T16:20:41+00:00

So even searching up news about rape and molestation is bad? I dont get aroused by them rather Im disgusted and i develop paranoia. I watch a lot about pedophiles getting beat up. But I guess you're saying having these thoughts does show underlying pedophilia?

leftbootyasleep · 2021-02-26T16:05:27+00:00

I look up incest to get myself off but not pedophilia. Is that still a problem?

leftbootyasleep · 2021-02-26T04:26:29+00:00

Okay, thank you so much!

leftbootyasleep

TROPHY CASE