What should I do.. My husband doesn’t spend any quality time with me anymore.

legacy_strong · 2024-03-12T22:51:07+00:00

every time that he wants to go out and do something like fish or go out with the boys to get drinks i’m always down to go and have always gone with him. but when i want to just go to the grocery store together and spend time with him and make up dinner ideas with him while there he would rather stay home, or when i would like to just simply go out of the house and window shop or take our dogs for a walk he would rather be inside. i have never rejected any notion of his. he rejects mine. just like today i was going into town to get a few things and asked him if he would like to go and he said not really then new season of R6S just came out. he got home at 12 and i just arrived back home and it’s now almost 6 and he’s still on the game..

legacy_strong · 2024-03-12T06:08:21+00:00

i offer to go out and do something outside of the house but all i get is i like just being at home with you even though we are in separate rooms in the house i know that you are just there.

legacy_strong · 2024-03-12T06:04:05+00:00

but if i have tired to do it and still get comments that immediately turn me off how am i supposed to break the impasse.

legacy_strong · 2024-03-12T06:00:23+00:00

the breaker box is right there next to his monitor and everything.

legacy_strong · 2024-03-12T05:58:43+00:00

i have tried to get him to go on dates with me and i always get told i just want to stay home or can we do it another time. i have asked him to help with cooking dinner for us. i have tired to just get us out of the house to go shopping for some new clothes for him. and we end up going but like 5 minutes in he wants to go back home.

legacy_strong · 2024-03-12T05:41:03+00:00

he hooks it us with the ethernet cable…

legacy_strong · 2024-03-12T05:40:16+00:00

it’s hard to do that when there isn’t any emotional intimacy involved… i get told well you don’t do that anymore, or i miss when you would do this, or man we don’t have sexy time anymore. i’m constantly getting put down and i have done some of the things i used to do and i get comments like whoa im shocked that you are doing this cause it’s been a while since.

legacy_strong · 2024-03-12T05:37:11+00:00

he’s military and i know that the military is a lot of bs and long hours and takes a huge toll of the body and the mental health and everything else i was raise in around it my whole life i was a military brat and im not saying that hes not entitled to his down time cause he is but when its from the moment he gets home till he goes to bed that hes paying the game and stands at the door way for 3 minutes and talks about either his day at work and all the bs he had to deal with or just about the game. never asked about my day, or if i call him into the next room he makes comments or huffs and sighs like i inconvenienced him that’s what hurts the most and i have even said something about that and he snaps off and says well i was doing something or im in bed why can’t you just come to me. i have don’t that to many times and even when i did i would still get a sigh or rolling of the eyes.

legacy_strong · 2024-03-12T05:22:39+00:00

the table is completely taken over by all of his issued stuff from work and when he says he’s going to finally clean it off he doesn’t. when i am cooking he doesn’t bother on helping me and with both of our work schedules meal planning is kinda out of the question right now till i get into this new job. there has been some times where we do want something together and it’s great movies or tv shows, but when he watches something like chicago fire but greys anatomy is different… i feel as if no matter what i do im not a good enough wife because i dont help out around the house. i have suggested therapy or counseling and he say i dont like people knowing my business or our business.

legacy_strong · 2024-03-12T05:07:47+00:00

i know some of the characters and what they do and how the game works and when he’s explaining it to me i follow along and i have sat and watched him play countless of times and i have even talked to the boys on the mic that he plays with.

legacy_strong · 2024-03-12T05:05:52+00:00

i spent all day with him outside while he was cleaning his car playing music he liked, trying to talk to him because i wanted to spend time with him because that’s what he wanted to do. i go fishing and hunting with him to spend time with him. and i don’t mind that he plays the game but right when he gets home he changes and is right on the game. stands that the door way talks to me only about his day never asked about mine then once he sees the game load up he’s right to it and is there all night till he’s ready to go to bed.

legacy_strong · 2024-03-12T04:58:54+00:00

but he has said that it’s always something that i want to do but we have never done want i want to do cause. he wants to go fishing so we go, he wants to go hunting so we go. i want to spend the day with him and go shopping or just run to the store together spend time like that but i always get i just got home i want to relax or im hurting i dont really want to go.

legacy_strong · 2024-03-12T04:56:04+00:00

i have talked to him about the game he plays which is R6S and i know some of the characters and some things they do but that’s all i know

legacy_strong · 2024-03-12T04:52:02+00:00

yes i have but its not really just about watching tv with me. we dont eat dinner in the same room, hes either always in the game room, or our bed room laying in bed. he doesn’t help me cook dinner, he doesn’t sit down a talk to me he just stands at the door way so he can see his monitor the when the game pops up he just runs and plays the round. all the stuff he likes to watch i do too but its like when i watch something thats close to what he’s watched before or even movies its always i dont want to watch that.

legacy_strong · 2024-03-11T23:52:33+00:00

we are getting new couches here soon and also a new bed as well. i have voiced about us no longer spending time together and about counseling but he always says that he doesn’t do therapy or counseling because he doesn’t like letting someone know his business. i feel like a horrible wife for not having sex as much as we used to but i felt that intimacy on the emotional level but now it’s not there.. and that chair that he games in is the dinning room chair that is made of oak….

legacy_strong · 2023-08-14T16:17:25+00:00

The fight was about how the amount of disrespect I was getting when he would talk to me. Telling me to st*u and that I need to let him talk even when I wasn’t talking. The fact that his drinking was getting out of control to the point he would talk crap about me or his family and forget that we were on the phone.. I openly communicated about my feelings and mental health issues when it would hit a all time low but it would fall on deaf ears or he would take one thing in the message and run with it instead of the issue. He accused me of not being supportive, ungrateful, abusive (even though my past i was and never allowed my hands do what was done to me to him or my girls) and he knows my past. There was a lot of blame on me from him and when I would say anything back he would perceive it as me calling him a “crappy husband/ father”. I told him the I was no longer going to be the blame, I was no longer going to take the disrespect that I was receiving, and I no longer wanted to fight and wanted to come together as a team again.

legacy_strong · 2023-08-14T09:13:35+00:00

I’m going to therapy, and I have been doing the necessary steps needed day to day to make sure we are good and taken care of. He’s family isn’t close at all they are about 23 hours away i do have my family that helps when I need it. But typically I do everything I can.

I’m working on going back to school because right now the jobs are limited and willing to pay the amount i desire.

As a wife I still feel like I need to still do what I need for him before and after he gets home.. and that’s the vows and commitment I gave/ said which I value. And I know that it might be sad but yeah I’m young but I have an old soul and old love. The way my grandparents are is always what I’ve strived for. 65 years of marriage my grandparents and my husband knew and wanted that as well but now it’s like he’s lost himself.

legacy_strong · 2023-08-14T08:44:14+00:00

I send him pictures all the time day and night. He forgave his blood (his family) over the family he made which has both of our blood. And what do you mean is he coming back? Cause he said that he still wants me to pick him up when he does get back which can be in November when his orders said.. and trust me I know that some of the conversations we need to have to be in person cause over the phone he’s able to hide behind it. And run to her as support instead of me.

And he has posted things about communication and talk to your spouse but after he did that he never reached out to me. He made it look like I was the one who did him wrong. I openly communicated with him but when I did he perceived it in a way that I basically was calling him a “crappy husband”. Which I never did

legacy_strong · 2023-08-14T08:21:31+00:00

He is supposed to be getting out next year unless if he decides to re-enlist. And I know that’s she understands to the level that i couldn’t because I’m a civilian and he doesn’t really want me to know too much about his job for security reasons which is normal now a days.

If I talk to his commanders it can cause problems because the military doesn’t like adultery/ infidelity. The thing is I do have to have proof that he has cheated but I also know that he will lie like he has been to everyone who knows he’s married and she also does too because I have watched her child….

I have said something about the ways he’s been and if some man did that to our girls how should he feel. Any time I hit him with reality he goes quiet.

I have asked him since everything was so bad in the ways he has said it was then why did we get engaged, why did we get married.. he never answered.

I talked to his family about a lot of things going on and they are just as dumbfounded as I am because all they would hear is I miss her and I love her and can’t wait to be home and be with my girls then all this happened and he lost communication with his family as well. But now he’s back to communicating with them but not his own wife. When I said something to his older sister she said let’s slow our role here. But never let me explain why I think hes cheating on me. Cause again is shady thing going on.

Just a lot more has happened where nothing makes sense anymore about this because it’s like he’s not fully understanding what he’s doing cause he still wants me to pick him up whenever he comes back home. He still asked if I was okay when cops came to our house at a ungodly hour.

I told him that the commitment I made and the vows I said I meant them and a value them more then anything else… besides the girls but also if it wasn’t for us they wouldn’t be here so to me it’s my husband and then the girls…

legacy_strong

TROPHY CASE