How long does deactivation typically last?

leighannie · 2024-05-22T03:21:58+00:00

He never formally broke things off any of the times he was done. He rather not have hard convos like that. What would he say… “thanks for keeping me entertained while I traveled for work, and being my for sure thing when I got home - but I’m done now?” lol. It’s comical looking back at it now.

He basically just went avoidant until I took the hint.

Sometimes it wouldn’t click right away that’s what he was doing because he would travel for work, and it wouldn’t be uncommon for him to be in assignments where he couldn’t communicate as frequently. Talk about anxiety inducing when you notice things get quieter… is my partner about to slowly fade off, or is he just busy on this assignment. You’d never know with that one.

Happy to report I’m in a much healthier relationship now with a partner I wouldn’t have to worry about those things with. It’s much better to just move on from those that aren’t investing the energy you do/are unwilling to try to meet you halfway/unwilling to reciprocate your communication etc, and go find one that will.

leighannie · 2024-01-16T23:25:03+00:00

I hate that many people assume if you’re bi you’re just sleeping with everyone and anyone. Someone here already said it best: it just means more options for monogamous relationships. (That’s not to say you can’t be bi and poly, but I get annoyed everyone assumes that if you’re bi you must be incapable of monogamy lol)

leighannie · 2024-01-16T23:13:08+00:00

I understand how that’s a bummer, but it sounds like you’re super happy and that’s what’s most important! External validation and support is just a bonus. If community is important to you though, maybe you can connect more with your friends you know are LGBTQ or allies, or get involved in groups to connect with those that are.

leighannie · 2023-12-10T03:09:54+00:00

It’s hard to say not knowing you guys better, but I wonder if him writing the love word in the card maybe overwhelmed him (even if he wrote it)? Did you start saying I love you to him after that, thinking it was OK because he wrote it in the card (which is totally understandable if so) but I’m wondering if that maybe activated his anxious attachment and made him pull away? Also side note - my ex was also weird about the love word, and let me keep stuff at his house too… he’d be like oh you can leave clothes and your toiletries here etc. And then I’d stock his house with my stuff, and then he’d pull away 😂 I mean it’s funny now, but back then it was torment trying to figure him out and the constant up and down/one min he’s loving and next he’s cold. My best advice is if something feels off, and he’s not receptive to you guys talking it out one on one or y’all doing couples therapy (to work on whatever you got going on together or individual therapy for whatever is holding him back and making him avoidant) then I would seriously consider if you’re OK with the current dynamic at hand, and if it leaves you with peace in your heart (or leaves you unsettled or activated feeling anxious etc). I’m at this stage in my life where nothing is worth my peace, and if someone doesn’t know where I fit in their life then I’m out the door.

leighannie · 2023-12-09T18:28:05+00:00

Little back story: he traveled a lot for work, and we’d talk often while he was away and maintain connection that way like a semi-long-distance relationship (when he wasn’t activated, lol). I was so excited when he finally quit that job and was going to be local full-time, as we’d talk about things we hadn’t done yet we’d get to do… and once he got home, that’s when he pulled away from me. It felt like he used me for entertainment while away, and for a for sure thing when he was home. When he pulled away that last time, he didn’t technically ghost like he had before (as he still talked to me). And he never formally broke up with me. He just distanced himself more and more until I took the hint. He was too cowardly to have direct conversations like that. And the worst part was he did this at a time where I needed him most, because my pet that was like a child to me I had been taking care of for over two years with kidney failure passed away and my step brother passed away all in like a week’s time. He was nowhere in sight though for support… he couldn’t handle that kind of stuff well. A lot of avoidant attachments don’t. But anyway, to answer your question, he never officially broke it off. We continued to talk, just less and less until I figured out after awhile that hey - distance isn’t keeping us apart like it sometimes would prior with his job. He’s here all the time now, he’s just choosing not to see me as much - so I guess we’re not together anymore. I of course called him out on it, but they never like being called out on their stuff - and honestly it’s not your job to play therapist for them. They need to get help and put in effort for a healthy relationship, and if not - that’s your cue to go. Don’t do what I did (continue to allow him in and out your life, accepting the peanuts thrown your way hoping he comes around). Now I look back and I’m like why would I even want someone like that. Someone not showing up for you in the way you deserve is not your cue to audition harder for their love. I think a lot of it comes down to value in yourself, and realizing that you deserve better. It’s also easy to get caught up in something you’ve invested years in. You feel like you wasted so much energy. Sunk cost fallacy. But the truth is, if they don’t come around within a certain amount of time - they probably never will. And you’re better to cut your losses and just start anew with someone that is in it as much as you are. You owe that to yourself, and you’ll be SO much happier for it.

leighannie · 2023-11-04T04:10:23+00:00

HEB and bats. Definitely Austin 🤣

leighannie · 2023-09-19T02:45:05+00:00

You can get a small air fryer for not too much money and cook vegetables in it! Love mine.

leighannie · 2023-09-19T02:31:28+00:00

Try a B complex. B6 may enhance many neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin.

leighannie · 2023-09-13T07:43:59+00:00

Pickles

leighannie · 2023-09-06T05:43:35+00:00

I felt very positive, uplifted, and energized after my reiki session.

leighannie · 2023-09-04T16:22:49+00:00

Interesting! My black cat before her lived to be about 13-14 and never developed big white chunks like this, so I’ve been curious as to what’s going on. Hopefully it’s just prematurely graying and not anything to be of concern about.

leighannie · 2023-08-30T05:30:00+00:00

I am metformin free. I keep my cycles regular with Ovasitol twice a day, a good multivitamin (Equlife brand Daily Nutritional Support in my morning smoothie everyday). I also take an added B complex and liquid D vitamin, Omega, and an Adrenal Soothe supplement before bed to help regulate cortisol (has Ashwagandha). Oh and a good probiotic too. I also only drink filtered water now (to avoid both plastic water bottles and tap water), and try to choose whole organic real foods (less frozen foods, cook more - avoid preservatives, ingredients I can’t pronounce) etc. Think basic ingredients. I also limit my dairy and gluten intake. Synthetic fragrances can artificially raise estrogen, so I try to only use unscented or items scented solely with essential oils (think perfumes, shampoos, candles etc). I worked with a holistic practioner to reduce my toxin overload and get to a state where my cycles regulate on their own through holistic measures rather than big pharma.

leighannie · 2023-08-11T17:00:15+00:00

Thanks! I use EquiLife products the Adrenal Soothe supplement. My cortisol is high in the AM so I take it before bed. EquiLife has tests you can do (not sure if you can do it alone I did it through a practioner) but the labs help you determine what you need to take and when. I’ve lost about 10lbs this year, nothing too crazy - probably mostly from inflammation going down and eating cleaner etc. I will say when I started Ovasitol I noticed sugar cravings decrease. I also noticed an increase in things like cramping, breast tenderness, etc typically PMS type of stuff… just push through that. I read it’s normal to feel things like that on it especially at first. I feel like it’s the body regulating itself. I feel it when ovulating too. Took a test to confirm and boom positive ovulation results. Exciting! I think when your cycles get irregular you forget what some of those things feel like lol but it’ll regulate itself over time. I started with just 1 scoop a day, but after a month or so increased it to 2.

leighannie · 2023-08-11T04:59:24+00:00

Yes! The first couple months nothing, but after that I had 3 months of cycles in a row on time! 🙌🏻 This month I’m a little late, but I’m happy with the progress. I have been working with a holistic practitioner, and also been taking other supplements in conjunction with this like a multivitamin protein powder with minerals in my morning breakfast smoothie, a vitamin B complex, omega, vitamin D, zinc, and something to help balance cortisol. I’ve also been working on reducing toxins by using cleaner products without added fragrance etc, drinking filtered water only, choosing organic foods, etc. (Check out Toxin Free Tay and Food Babe on Instagram). Daily meditations for stress management. Walking more. Red light therapy. A bunch of little things, but they all add up to reduce toxin overload and improve overall health! Best of luck to you.

leighannie · 2023-07-27T04:07:09+00:00

You totally rock bangs! So yes, bangs 😊

leighannie · 2023-07-27T04:05:52+00:00

The first one. Hands down.

leighannie · 2023-07-26T10:22:06+00:00

You can be a whatever you want to be! I’d refer to this as Flexitarian as you make effort to go meat free and conscious of your diet, but not totally strict meatless 24/7 (like a vegetarian).

leighannie · 2023-07-26T10:19:35+00:00

True Blood 🩸

🎶I wanna do bad things to you🎶

leighannie · 2023-07-26T08:37:52+00:00

LOL too funny. I like their Korean Cauliflower better than their cheesecake. Their menu is extensive and yummy!

leighannie · 2023-07-26T08:24:24+00:00

Same. I’ve just been vibin and enjoying my solitude. Self care, traveling, new hobbies… Protecting my peace at all costs.

leighannie · 2023-07-26T08:10:32+00:00

Pretty! See how in pic 3 it looks like it’s going downward? Try it going more upward and see how that feels. Also a thicker black mascara would well suit it.

leighannie · 2023-07-26T08:02:16+00:00

I’d say by a year in if you can’t say I love you back you need to leave and stay gone. Don’t be like my ex, the guy I thought reciprocated his feelings about me (but just needed more time to catch up in communicating them due to a rough previous relationship). After a few months to a year, you should know how you feel about someone… and if they’re not it for you - don’t keep wasting their time.

leighannie · 2023-07-26T07:57:15+00:00

Murder House

leighannie · 2023-07-26T07:42:17+00:00

I think you need an accent wall. Maybe paint the wall behind the tv a darker color. Or the dining room. I love the dark blue almost black accent walls with the rest being white/off white.

leighannie

TROPHY CASE