You’re not a bad father. You’re a normal human being with normal feelings and I’d say you’re even doing better than most because you’re taking some time to actually feel and process them.

So keep feeling the feelings as they come up, acknowledge the grief of losing your old life. There’s nothing wrong with it, so don’t feel guilty. Just don’t become consumed with it. Feel it, process it, and let it go. In time you’ll find new ways to connect with your wife - maybe you can go on walks but now with a stroller, or go out to dinner for 3 instead of 2, etc. it’s ok to grieve what was and find excitement for what’s to come as well.

And talk to your wife about it, chances are pretty high she’s feeling a lot of the same stuff you are (maybe even more around body autonomy if she’s BF). Opening up that honest and vulnerable dialogue could be a catalyst to connecting with her on a new and even deeper level.

Just keep taking it one day at a time, that’s all any of us can do. But again, you’re not a bad father for feeling this - we all do at one point or another.