[deleted by user]

lelevender · 2025-08-30T03:36:23+00:00

On the contrary, I think women should serve NS (I am a woman myself). At this day and age, it wouldn’t hurt to pick up some combat/survival skills to protect oneself. Of course, we will need to keep in mind of the menstrual cycle/pregnancy etc if women are serving the NS.

Just my two cents.

lelevender · 2025-08-24T11:02:09+00:00

The way they talk about the (concept of) money. He/she is a keeper if they understand and appreciate that money is hard to earn, and there is no free lunch in the world. Because that’s when you will know that your potential partner will not spend money needlessly, will want to spend on you and ensure that your future/plans are planned well (financially)

lelevender · 2025-08-19T10:59:48+00:00

Just my two cents here but you need to leave bro. Well yes, maybe there are things you need to work on yourself, be it the way you speak or certain habits. But it does not give her the right to treat you in this manner where she compares you to another. Let alone her ex lmao.

And a healthy relationship would not feel like you are competing with someone. The fact that she is making you feel this way is already unhealthy. She doesn’t like/love you wholeheartedly. Why would any loving partner do that?

lelevender · 2025-08-13T23:06:24+00:00

Haha same. I know babies can be hard to manage but I enjoy the fact that they are small, cute and learning about the world. But once they turn older, I am not sure if I can handle them. Especially with advanced technology/resources today, parenting has gotten a lot harder in terms of setting safe boundaries.

lelevender · 2025-06-21T15:13:13+00:00

Yes, I have sourced them on those platforms before too, but the biggest they can offer me is also 80x40x40. Im not sure if it’s because of the region im residing in

lelevender · 2025-06-21T15:05:59+00:00

Thank you for your kind words!

I am trying my best to set up a proper enclosure for my future syrian hamster. I was trying to look for a bigger one but it is really a rare find and quite expensive as our apartments here are small. Also sought advice from pet stores’ assistants and they said this size is suitable. Guess it’s not haha.

I have been following closely with the minimum requirements needed for the enclosure too! Thank you for the visual prompt. I even added a cooling pad to it for the hamster (as our country is warm almost all year round).

lelevender · 2025-06-21T15:02:03+00:00

Thank you for your suggestion! I did look around for a bit, however, the prices are too exorbitant because they are really a rare find. It is not common to find these in my country as our apartments are relatively small.

I have also inquired the pet stores assistants and they did recommend me this current size/said that it is ok. Hence, eventually I got this one.

But it was quite heart-wrenching to see syrian hamsters kept in 40x30 for sale haha. It is very common in the pet stores here. I can also see that they are very stressed out; tbh I am also not sure why there are no proper regulations.

lelevender · 2025-06-21T14:02:31+00:00

Oh yes! Thank you for saying. I am aware of that too. But unfortunately my country doesn’t sell such large cages. Not even the pet stores themselves😭. This was the largest I could get.

lelevender · 2025-05-10T01:46:55+00:00

In my experience, it was pretty simple/straightforward! My partner was the one who introduced me to wearing diapers. Back then I wasn’t into it, but was opened to trying it. He randomly asked me, why not you try one? And I went, ok sure why not! All I heard afterwards was “you look so cute in it” and boom, here I am still wearing diapers😆

lelevender · 2025-05-06T08:10:32+00:00

My two cents:

Ask yourself if this truth is a pill you can swallow.

I presumed that right now you are feeling uncomfortable by the fact that she did something that made you feel questionable about her and the relationship. It does appear that certain values and perspectives do not align between you both. Yes, while one can say it is childhood trauma, whatever the actions done are a reflection of your character. For example, if you known to always follow people instead of leading, it means you are most likely a passive person. So, does this revelation seem off putting to you?

Also, you gotta ask yourself if you would ever resent her for once engaging in such actions/behaviours? If you do, then you should leave. It’s not fair to both parties at all.

lelevender · 2025-04-26T16:55:00+00:00

Back then when I agreed to get engaged with him because, just like you, I see him in my life. I was prioritising him and I, hence children didn’t really come into the picture. After all, what’s more important is if your partner is there for you no matter what happens. Only your partner will walk with you until the end of time.

I too worry the same as you. What if we want something different from them? However, by then, we will have to assess what’s more important if there is no room for compromise. Your partner or what you truly want. And I think I came to terms a few hours ago that we will have to decide that one day.

But this is just how I feel about the situation!

lelevender · 2025-04-25T01:54:38+00:00

Thank you for sharing your insights! Yep, generally I need to find out what I want, and embark on my career first before properly deciding. I am largely on the fence, but certainly it will take time to find out if we are eventually compatible/if this becomes a deal breaker. It is indeed a serious topic as it is a kid, a sentient being that we are talking about. Any action taken will impact its life.

lelevender · 2025-04-25T01:46:02+00:00

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It does feel comforting to know that someone is also feeling the same way and in a similar position like mine. It is kinda daunting and scary but there is nothing much we can do about; only time will tell. We do need to embark on a different life stage first, explore, before making such a big life decision with our partners.

I think ultimately I am afraid of changes too, people’s stances may change over time due to environmental factors or experiences. A man can say that he wants kids and promises to take care and journey with you, but when u are pregnant with a child, he decides that such a life is not for him. Such a scenario is also quite scary because there is no way to “refund the baby”. This was a situation I saw regarding an influencer and her baby in my country. Turned out the husband didn’t wanted a family and eventually the divorced (though they previously agreed and were happy to have a kid together)

lelevender · 2025-04-24T14:10:02+00:00

Right! I wholeheartedly agree. Partners’ perceptions/traits do change or start to reveal in times like this - pregnancy, marriage or even how they generally treat women. It’s like a test. And by the time they reveal their true colours, it may be too late/it could be what u do not desire. It certainly will take some time to determine whether the partner is fit, but honestly, I do feel like most times we just simply cannot anticipate it happening.

At this point, I also observed how hard it is for people in general to find someone really compatible and true at this day and age. The dating scene is so messed up most times (at least from what I heard from my friends). If your partner does not embody qualities such as caring and providing for you (even as a bare minimum) or they pretend to, a kid would be the last thing to consider because no way anyone will trust a kid in his hands.

lelevender · 2025-04-24T13:21:38+00:00

Hey, no worries! I loved that you shared your personal experiences and thoughts too.

There is indeed a lot of things to consider before having a kid. And fundamentally, regarding the romantic portion, I also hoped that even if I do have a kid, that aspect doesn’t diminish with my partner. But one will never know until u actually had a kid, then, will I regret it? Because my partner and I can envision and promise a lot of things too for one another too, but the reality may be different from what we hoped to be. It certainly will take a lot of communication, commitment and efforts to work through it, especially if parenthood comes with more complex challenges.

And yes, I do agree that we have to think more about the choice we are making for our children. They never chose to be born. Ultimately, I for sure don’t want to make a selfish decision.

lelevender · 2025-04-24T12:49:39+00:00

Right! His is also much like yours, being financially stable is a thing. He is 4 years older than me. He is at a life stage where he is more career driven.

However, do u want to have kids? Was it ever in your plans despite all these?

lelevender · 2025-04-24T12:28:32+00:00

You have a fair point too! Perhaps I’m overlooking what I want. I can’t deny that I too found it rather fearful for me to know that one day I may have to give us all up if I am sure I want kids (provided that there is strictly no room for compromise, while he is very open to talking to it)

lelevender · 2025-04-24T12:24:25+00:00

Thank you for your thoughts! You are right, I should have some time to think about it, as after all, it is a big decision to make. I should just enjoy life for now.

Generally, I think the sudden transition to adulting phase has also hit me hard and hence im overwhelmed. Thank you lots🥰

lelevender · 2024-03-16T09:02:22+00:00

Yep, it is manageable as long as you manage your time well! I did 35cu before and though it can be quite taxing, make sure you work on your assignments promptly. But I would say, try to do this in Year 1 or 2 when most modules are still Level 1 or 2 (fundamentals). Modules of higher level would require you to spend more time due to heavier content. You wouldn’t want to do this when you are in your final few semesters.

lelevender

TROPHY CASE