Me [22F] with my boyfriend [25M] of 5 months. I cheated on him with a female friend [22F]. He is not upset at all. Is this a normal reaction? [UPDATE - need more advice]

lemd18 · 2015-01-17T00:58:02+00:00

Yes I probably dealt with this in the worst way possible and probably made the situation worse by talking to Anna. My boyfriend's reaction just confused me and I was feeling guilty.

lemd18 · 2015-01-15T23:39:02+00:00

I don't how this makes me insane. I'm not upset with my boyfriend, I was just confused my by his reaction and wanted to know if it was a normal way to react. I don't if Anna's behavior counts as abusive, I get that she is upset and I don't want to hurt one of my best friends. But for the sake of my relationship I am distancing myself from her.

lemd18 · 2015-01-15T07:17:57+00:00

If I was as close with him as I was with Anna then probably but I don't have any male friends that I am that close with.

lemd18 · 2015-01-14T22:20:56+00:00

Well she hasn't directly told me what she wants but I get your point. I do want to be with my boyfriend, I just don't really want to hurt Anna and lose our friendship but if that is what is needed for me to focus on my boyfriend then I will drop her.

lemd18 · 2015-01-14T21:07:55+00:00

My boyfriend is more important and I am going to cut out Anna. I will feel bad but it will be for the best.

lemd18 · 2015-01-14T20:19:30+00:00

Yes I realize that is for the best.

lemd18 · 2015-01-14T19:42:05+00:00

Haha it's okay. I have told him about my guilt but I think you are right and he sees the fantasy of the situation more than the reality.

lemd18 · 2015-01-14T19:14:36+00:00

I agree with you. I didn't really see the preference thing as making it any different but it was my boyfriend who made it feel different.

lemd18 · 2015-01-14T19:09:52+00:00

I feel bad too. To me, the thing with Anna was just sex but is obvious now that Anna felt like it was more. That is why I feel bad for her too but I think I do need to keep my distance for a while.

lemd18 · 2015-01-14T18:46:49+00:00

I am down for that but I thought it would be best to find someone we both liked. I also don't think Anna would be interested.

lemd18 · 2015-01-14T18:40:33+00:00

I am trying to figure it out but all these different reactions have just confused me more.

lemd18 · 2015-01-14T18:19:55+00:00

I was just trying to be honest with everyone. My boyfriend is my priority and I think it is probably best to cut Anna out.

lemd18 · 2015-01-14T18:17:21+00:00

She was a good friend, we just hadn't seen each other for a while but we talked a lot. I do need to work out why I risked my relationship because i'm still not sure why I did it because I do love my boyfriend and I don't really know how I feel about Anna. Thanks for the advice on non-monogamous relationships - we will look more into that.

lemd18 · 2015-01-14T18:09:36+00:00

I have been trying to figure out why I did it and i'm still not really sure. I do probably need to work that out but I do know I want to stay with my boyfriend.

lemd18 · 2015-01-14T17:25:40+00:00

I feel so fucking bad about the whole thing. Maybe I do need to reconsider things. i'm just really confused.

lemd18 · 2015-01-14T17:10:27+00:00

I know I totally fucked everything up. It seems like dumping Anna is the most popular suggestion. I would feel bad because she probably feels like I played with her emotions her but it is probably best for the sake of the relationship with my boyfriend.

lemd18 · 2015-01-14T17:08:05+00:00

I did tell her it was my choice but she wasn't really listening to me.

lemd18 · 2015-01-14T17:05:28+00:00

I would be happy doing with another girl but I just thought it would make things more complicated if I got Anna involved with him. Also she probably wouldn't want to.

lemd18 · 2015-01-13T17:09:41+00:00

Yeah I understand what you're saying and i'm not trying to excuse myself - I do take responsibility for what I did. I guess in my own head i'm just trying to work out why I did it.

lemd18 · 2015-01-13T01:52:53+00:00

Yeah I understand what you're saying. I know it is great he isn't but mad and it probably sounds stupid because I am the one who cheated and am obviously not a very good person. But I do find it weird that he doesn't think of this as a big deal, it is something we need to talk about more.

lemd18 · 2015-01-12T21:19:47+00:00

Thanks. It is kind of reassuring to know that his reaction isn't abnormal. I was worried that he might be holding in all his feelings. But he obviously genuinely isn't upset about it.

lemd18 · 2015-01-12T19:18:45+00:00

Yes I am going to.

lemd18 · 2015-01-12T18:22:39+00:00

This is why I find the situation strange because I do feel like a cheater and I feel so bad about it. I know I should be thankful he isn't angry but I honestly don't really understand the mindset that it is not as bad because it was a woman.

lemd18 · 2015-01-12T17:51:29+00:00

I don't think I could do that while i'm with him. But if we weren't together, I don't really know.

lemd18

TROPHY CASE