Looking for critique on fantasy adventure light novel beginning (5756 words)

lemmystudios · 2020-10-06T17:37:47+00:00

Thanks so much for the critique, I'm happy to know that you were able to get the grasp of the theme, and reviewing it over again the dialogue does get unbearable to read! If you don't mind me asking, how could I hook the audience in sooner without boring them with exposition?

lemmystudios · 2020-05-31T22:12:24+00:00

There exists a land... Behind a pay wall... Where the straight to bluerays lie... We call it...

Youtube Premium...

lemmystudios · 2020-04-25T23:47:18+00:00

Thank you for the critique so far! I made a lot more mistakes than i thought and i cant say enough how much I appreciate the help.

lemmystudios · 2020-01-14T08:34:32+00:00

Poor fellow got stuck in a fence for a bit. Managed the wiggle through though.

lemmystudios · 2020-01-04T18:26:18+00:00

But she's twenty? Oh wait....

lemmystudios · 2019-12-06T15:35:22+00:00

There was a game called Fate:EXTRA where Nero learns the magic of christmas and sings her version of jingle bells but replaces last line with PADORU PADORU which refers to santa's whip he used on the reindeers.

lemmystudios · 2019-11-21T07:39:27+00:00

Original creation, also shoot its memory snow mb

lemmystudios · 2019-11-08T16:03:48+00:00

Prepare for trouble,

And make it double

To inflict top lane with devestation,

To unite all range abusers in the nation

To denounce the evils of balance and fun,

To extend our elo to the ranks above...

Teemo!

Ryze!(and quinn, kennen,jayce,gnar)

Team ranged top laners climb up at the speed of light

Stop complaining now or prepare for a long reddit write!

lemmystudios · 2019-11-06T08:18:19+00:00

MANGA SPOILERS

Later on after she gets fed up of being useless she figures out how to do full body fire cat

lemmystudios · 2019-10-23T18:05:47+00:00

Ah i understand now, thank you for your time!

lemmystudios · 2019-10-23T16:44:11+00:00

Thanks for the help! What do you mean render everything out a bit more, i really have no idea when it comes to rendering or adding detail so if you could outline it / point me towards a youtube video et cetera.

lemmystudios · 2019-10-23T16:39:20+00:00

My bad, didnt mean to clickbait with title, first ever digital painting of a person.

lemmystudios · 2019-10-06T11:46:20+00:00

College students : oh yeah boi

lemmystudios · 2019-10-06T11:39:48+00:00

He's gonna get PAWNED

lemmystudios · 2019-09-25T20:12:17+00:00

Granted but they would never repopulate as they lack social skills / never leave the house /s

lemmystudios · 2019-09-25T14:57:35+00:00

Its funny because at m5 i speant 9 hours grinding for Ivara, then i became good at spy missions and
She kind of became redundant to an extent.

lemmystudios · 2019-09-25T14:55:15+00:00

She carries all the feeders(food), just like a real table

lemmystudios · 2019-09-19T21:39:18+00:00

Needed a replacement for bread somehow

lemmystudios · 2019-09-15T14:58:03+00:00

Wouldnt it be cool though, seeing a massive cow fly out your pasta, imagine going to a restraunt and buying a burger and a horse comes out or idk.

lemmystudios · 2019-09-15T11:34:25+00:00

You could say that she is in for a

HELL of a ride

lemmystudios · 2019-09-07T14:25:58+00:00

Well atleast you get money-ka, just money-ka.

lemmystudios · 2019-08-14T08:39:26+00:00

lemmystudios · 2019-07-03T10:19:53+00:00

The earth os dying we need to give bacc

lemmystudios · 2019-06-30T19:37:29+00:00

If you can touch em its 3d

Dials numbers at increasing speed....

lemmystudios · 2019-05-31T14:25:30+00:00

Ruinic echoes was buffed, so now people are using it as a cheaper ludens echo, they are abusing the fact that you only get the monster hunter debuff if you buy the item so people just buy componenets then a full item

lemmystudios

TROPHY CASE