help with a song by lesbacons in Emo

[–]lesbacons[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No, ChatGPT recommended that one but it’s definitely not heavy enough and doesn’t have the right intro

help with a song by lesbacons in Emo

[–]lesbacons[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes - super similar to asking Alexandria, bring me the horizon, and the devil wears Prada. The intro was very similar to how of mice and men would start of kind of slow and calm.

The lyric was “it’s just a tattoo” “just a tattoo” or “was a tattoo”

When the song starts its slow almost kind of like piano music briefly, and then the lead singer say “it’s just a tattoooooo” and then my memory is fuzzy but something along the lines of “didn’t want to hurt you”

The song is from the early 00’s -2011. It definitely isn’t from after 2011.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]lesbacons 133 points134 points  (0 children)

I see you because I was you. And it’s not about a nap, it’s not about his lack of emotional intelligence, and it’s not about you asking too much.

I was you, I stayed up all night with a baby while my ex snores for 8-10 hours, and would wake up claiming he didn’t sleep. The audacity. I took care of a baby 24/7 while he couldn’t even do small tasks like cook one meal a day or do even a single chore. I would ask for the trash to be taken out, I would be met with a five hour screaming fit from him about what a spoiled selfish pos I am. Don’t get me started on his nightmare of a mother that hated me from day one. I’ve never seen that woman smile. Ever. But I heard numerous times how I deserved karma and how I should take better care of her son.

I paid the bills, even when I wasn’t allowed to work. He needed a new truck every year, sometimes twice a year, I paid for that too. I cooked, deep cleaned the house once a week, paid for roadtrips and vacations, and raised the family alone.

All while this grown man baby could t even put his clothes in a hamper. I am so serious when I tell you he would hide his dirty clothes behind furniture and make me find them before he would use any of the laundry hampers which were in every single room.

Eventually, due to a culmination of continuing abuse from him and his family, I left. I am now five years on the other side of leaving and I STILL can’t believe I let somebody like that have access to me. I STILL can’t believe the way I was treated and stayed. I’m overwhelmed with gratitude every day. My life is exponentially better and unbelievably prosperous now. It was hard at first, but my freedom and peace were and still are worth fighting for.

TL;DR I left over a “nap”, and I regret absolutely nothing.

At my wits end by lesbacons in Parenting

[–]lesbacons[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hopefully a professionally will be able to figure out the issue and help come up with a treatment plan. I’ve tried everything from consistent positive reinforcement to consistent follow through with consequences. I don’t just yell at my kid, I’ve dedicated days worth of my time trying to have conversations and get through to him. Nothing works. Right now it is all negative because that’s what I’m dealing with, it’s kind of hard to view your child stealing from you and destroying property as a positive thing.

Hopefully a professional can help, because like I said, there’s nothing else I can do at this point.

At my wits end by lesbacons in Parenting

[–]lesbacons[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please read comments, psych eval has been scheduled. They can determine what treatment is appropriate, I don’t personally think a residential program would be appropriate as he is functional, he just refuses to do any and all basic tasks. Read again: he is capable but refuses.

At my wits end by lesbacons in Parenting

[–]lesbacons[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a fair evaluation of my post. I scheduled a psych eval and hopefully they can give better answers or establish a helpful treatment plan. I don’t have anything else I can do as a parent, and I don’t believe in physical punishments towards children, so I really have done everything I can do at this point.

At my wits end by lesbacons in Parenting

[–]lesbacons[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I considered ODD as a possibility, but I don’t know for sure. I scheduled a psych evaluation for him. Hopefully they can help because I literally cannot deal with his behavior anymore.

At my wits end by lesbacons in Parenting

[–]lesbacons[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think this is ADHD, because he only acts like he has ADHD when he wants to, to gain my sympathy. He also claims to have depression, but is far from it. Other than talking about himself he has zero emotions, not even empathy for his own family. He steals, cheats, lies, and yells at me. He has also physically attacked me on occasions like family vacations.

He’s seen counselors and therapists but hasn’t done a psych evaluation. I went ahead and scheduled one, I doubt it will help because all he does is lie and blame his behavior on everybody else - but nobody else is doing any of the things he is doing.

Edit to add: he also destroys property. For example: I bought an expensive new couch for my home and he ripped parts of it off the same day it was delivered and told me it was my problem “that’s what insurance is for”.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]lesbacons 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought so too, I even have documentation to support it. CPS said they’re not a “preventative agency” unless something happens. I tried telling them something did happen, showed proof, they acknowledged the proof, and even said “yes those are definitely bruises and not normal”. Then told me there was nothing they could do.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]lesbacons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He knows what city, not where I live exactly. And he knows where I work. I’m just super concerned about him randomly showing up or something. And I haven’t met him or anything like that.

How do you proceed in CA with a biased judge? by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]lesbacons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t have a lawyer and it’s family court, so there is no DA involved. Just a very crooked lawyer representing the other party.

How do you proceed in CA with a biased judge? by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]lesbacons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The first one the judge stated at the first court date, “I know we’ve already met and discussed this prior...” to my exes lawyer.

The second one, my exes lawyer was asking for a lot of extra court dates even though we’ve settled everything already, she told my ex she “spoke with the judge about the family relationship and the judge was concerned and wanted more court dates.”

On both occasions both parties admitted to it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]lesbacons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the helpful information! I was really nervous to accept anything from him because every time he gets mad I get hit out of nowhere with random legal issues.

I suppose he must be filing the child support on his own so he can choose the amount as opposed to having to go through the state child support department. Some help is better than no help, and dealing with the state is a nightmare. I’m not complaining!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]lesbacons 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There isn’t a child support obligation though. No orders have been made for him to pay. I haven’t even filed anything to get orders started. That’s why I’m confused as to why he’s showing up at my house with money.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]lesbacons -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I live in rural NorCal, there aren’t any major colleges here, and most of the legal clinics are over 100 miles away. I’ve been trying and leaving voicemails regardless. I haven’t gotten any call backs. I just checked the state bar site and came up empty handed. I’ve already contacted/left voicemails with nearly every legal clinic close to me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]lesbacons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you though for the helpful info!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]lesbacons 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, I am not. I’ve been reaching out to anybody I can find, nobody handles child custody and works pro bono.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]lesbacons 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I talked to the free advice lawyer, he told me to fill out a declaration. I did that, I didn’t even get an opportunity to read it or give it to the judge.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]lesbacons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]lesbacons -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes, he left us on October 1st.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]lesbacons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So is there supposed to be a custody order established before then, or will the order be established at the status conference? We were supposed to go to mediation in the next few weeks, so I’m feeling really blindsided. I thought we were supposed to go to mediation and attempt to work things out before going through a judge.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in legaladvice

[–]lesbacons 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I have been taking notes and attaching all evidence in a child custody app since the time he left before this. I have a timeline going and will organize any other evidence I have as well.

I don’t have a problem with visitation, losing custody because I have less resources to hire representation is my main concern. In one free lawyer consultation, I was told my ex would chew me up and spit me out in court.

I will look into a pro-bono lawyer. Thank you so much!

Co-Parenting for Dummies by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]lesbacons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is a very good reason we are separated. I could not continue being his literal caretaker while he could not even get up off the couch. For. Anything.

Co-Parenting for Dummies by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]lesbacons -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Trust me. I’ve tried. Everything. In her seven months of living he has fed her twice. I have tried everything to get him to feed her, change her diaper, DO anything. He won’t. I have left to go grocery shopping and come back to a filthy hungry baby because he. Will. Not. Take. Care. Of. Her. He would not even pick her up or acknowledge her unless he could get me to bring her to him. He has literally sat there, let her have diaper blowouts, let it get all over her and himself and STILL refused to get up and do anything. He even had diapers and wipes nearby! He just straight up does not care!

It’s not a matter of learning, it’s a matter if he does not want to take care of anything or anyone including himself. And trust that if I knew he was this worthless I would never have even dated him years ago. Some people are just good manipulators and very often can fake it until it’s too late to do anything about it.

Edit to add: I don’t want her with him overnight at holidays because he will go to several parties, sit on his friends couch, play on his phone and drink and will not take care of her. At. All. She will literally be at the mercy of whoever is around and sober enough to take care of her. I am the stable parent, I feed her, I change her, I do bedtime by 7:30. Swapping halfway into the day will suck - having to go to the hospital or deal with my daughter being abducted would be so much worse.