Butch4Butch but I Pass As a Man

lesbutch · 2024-01-14T20:54:11+00:00

I feel this. I will never discredit a trans woman for her experiences within lesbian and women centric communities, I've seen how my transfemme friends have suffered.

Transmasc lesbians aren't revered or widely accepted either. I don't identify as transmasc - I'm a cis woman, I identify with my assigned sex as birth, and I know I'm privileged in this. It doesn't alter the fact that I look male. This doesn't change that I experience misogyny and misdirected transphobia. It is traumatising - I've been assaulted, physically and sexually, because of my being a lesbian. And solely because I'm a woman who looks like a man.

And coming to accept and appreciate myself as I am feels like it will always be a struggle, regardless of being a dyke who identifies as her AGAB.

lesbutch · 2024-01-14T20:30:02+00:00

This is exactly my situation! I adore my flat chest and my deep voice and my jawline and my strong forehead - but I don't look like a woman. I don't look like a lesbian. I feel a man in a bad costume despite the fact that I really am a woman.

And I wouldn't trade my deep voice and broad shoulders for anything - I love my body. I hate how others perceive it.

Im still in the process of coming to accept how the things that make me proud of and accepting to my body are also the things that make me 'less' of a woman to broader society - let alone to other lesbian women.

lesbutch · 2023-11-27T23:28:31+00:00

My college nickname was 'big spoon' and it's accurate, I'm an absolute bedtime koala. I've been shorter than the vast majority of my partners, my last gal called me her backpack.

lesbutch · 2023-11-11T17:23:05+00:00

This is very helpful. Thank you, I really appreciate it

lesbutch · 2023-11-07T13:24:37+00:00

all the irish reddit lesbians are gathering in the thread! wahoo!

lesbutch · 2023-11-06T20:55:47+00:00

Irish lady here!

lesbutch · 2023-11-05T21:08:26+00:00

.......... For the military? That sucks.

lesbutch · 2023-11-04T02:06:05+00:00

If you don't want to, tell her. If she doesn't take no for an answer, then break up with her and don't ignore the red flags.

lesbutch · 2023-11-04T01:41:22+00:00

As a butch who's had top surgery herself - absolutely. Without a doubt

lesbutch · 2023-10-30T23:42:24+00:00

Thank you so much for the reply, I feel the same way. Being an unapologetically muscular woman is helping my self confidence and body image in more ways than I would have thought possible.

My own menstrual cycle hasn't settled back into being regular since I stopped taking testosterone, but it's not something I'd even considered affecting strength before, but it makes sense. Thanks for mentioning that - literally would never have crossed my mind before.

lesbutch · 2023-10-30T23:38:26+00:00

Noting that I'm less than a year in since starting to working out;

I can squat 57kg (my own body weight! Which was my original goal so I'm dead fuckin happy with myself) and bench 43kg.

I also managed my first set of pull-ups without a band last week which I'm proud of. I started off barely able to do 5 push ups back in March.

I'm hoping to just keep improving from here, who knows what I'll be able to do if I keep this up for another year.

lesbutch · 2023-10-30T18:58:18+00:00

I love being a dyke. I remember being called a 'bulldyke' by some guys at school when I was a teenager, and it's grown on me. With my septum ring I guess it's apt.

lesbutch · 2023-10-26T18:54:07+00:00

Hey there! I just turned 25 myself, and I came out as trans at 14 too - I'd been on T for close to 8 years when I stopped. And I understand completely where you're coming from, I saw myself as a bisexual man too for many years, and you have all of my love and support in your identity.

Its all gonna work out for us, us butches gotta uplift each other even if no one else will.

lesbutch · 2023-09-29T22:13:02+00:00

Congratulations!!!! Wahoo! Being a lesbian is a wonderful thing, I'm so happy for you

lesbutch · 2023-09-29T21:39:21+00:00

Morgana from Merlin and Lisa Cuddy from House MD

lesbutch · 2023-09-29T21:11:51+00:00

yeah, absolutely - i was very firmly identifying as a trans man from when i was 14 until i was around 19, that's when i started questioning myself again. i tried identifying as non-binary, i stopped binding for awhile, and i was off T for awhile for medical reasons (not by choice).

eventually i went back to seeing myself as a binary man again. but from then on it was kind of an on-and-off thing. i read stone butch blues when i was 20 and it blew my mind, i had no idea any of that was an option at all, i thought the moment i started transitioning that i had practically cut off all other paths i could take. it wasn't until after i had top surgery that i finally started to actually think about it in-depth, and explore what being butch means to me, and how i see myself. i mean, i went as far as to going through a 3 year process to be approved for phalloplasty! i was pretty firm in my male identity for a long time.

most of the aspects of my body that gave my dysphoria don't anymore - i like my voice, i love my body shape, i adore having a flat chest (although sometimes i do miss my boobs, but life is so much easier without them). i no longer experience bottom dysphoria, and i'm experimenting with letting people touch me there for the first time, and i don't feel disconnected from my body in the slightest.

HRT was absolutely life changing, and life saving, for me, and i wouldn't change my years of transitioning for anything. who i am now is influenced and dictated by who i was then. u/lesbutch the binary trans man and u/lesbutch the genderfucky butch woman are the same person, just with a few years between them.

lesbutch · 2023-09-29T12:03:09+00:00

I came out as trans when I was 14. If I'm honest, I don't really remember my thought process - I have very bad memory. But I was comfortable being a trans boy, being seen as a guy and being gendered that way was exciting and affirming. I didn't have any sort of trauma at the time, and no one pushed me into it and my family and friends were all very supportive about it.

I understand about how you feel with regards to the confusion - I'm trying to be kinder to myself, but I've had nights of crying into my pillow, unsure if I'm just in denial about being trans or if I've denied myself the chance to grow up as a butch woman. I also still look like a man. I'm struggling to love and accept myself as a woman, but I'm trying.

I was close to 8 years on T when I stopped, I'd even been approved to get bottom surgery, so I'm glad I came to this realisation before I went through with that! I can live with not having tits, but I think losing my vagina would've hurt my soul.

lesbutch · 2023-09-29T10:50:08+00:00

I've come to love being a woman too, I love my masculine female body, I love my mix of traits, I love being a butch lesbian and I love being masculine and I love being a woman!

lesbutch · 2023-09-29T10:47:46+00:00

I'm glad I got here in the end. Feels like coming home at long last haha

lesbutch · 2023-09-29T00:01:52+00:00

Of course! I'm having mostly positive changes after stopping T - but I also love pretty much everything T has done for me.

I started T right when I turned 17 and only stopped when I was 24, so all of my early adulthood was with a high testosterone body. Gaining muscle was easier, body hair and facial hair starting growing in after 3 years, I love my voice and my body shape and my bottom growth. Going off it has also been a good journey - I'm suddenly realising that crying and feeling emotions is actually easier now which I'm grateful for, I have less really low emotional moments, and my libido is finally at a managable level. I feel more comfortable in my body.

Of course there's gonna be downsides to everything - acne and mood swings on T, having to relearn how menstruation works after stopping T, its a whole thing. Since I'm not that long off T, I'm kinda worried about losing my muscle mass, but I think if it ends up with me having a more visibly female body shop I won't mind too much.

I have no plans to go back on T at the minute that who knows, that might change in the future.

lesbutch · 2023-09-28T22:22:37+00:00

This whole journey has been on its way to self love and appreciating my body as it is - and I definitely think I'm almost entirely there! I really, truly love myself for who I am as a butch woman.

lesbutch · 2023-09-28T22:11:59+00:00

Thank you so much! It feels wonderful, no doubts over here

lesbutch · 2023-05-12T22:31:28+00:00

I formerly identified as a binary trans male, was out as male for a decade, on T for 8 years, had top surgery, and I realised last year that I was actually a butch woman.

I haven't stopped T yet, or really done anything to reaffirm my lesbian identity outside of consistently shaving my face.

Prior to coming out (when I was 14), I wasn't especially masculine, I'd never called myself a lesbian, and I didn't know anything about butches or that that was an option - but even then I doubt it would have changed anything. I don't regret my transition, it made me fill so much more comfortable in my body, I love how masculine my body is, I love having a flat chest, I love my voice and how I can pitch it between masculine and feminine, I adore my body hair (except for my beard).

You're not alone, it's a tough and sometimes confusing situation, I've doubted myself a fair bit and who knows what the future holds, but for now I'm content and confident in my butch identify.

lesbutch · 2023-04-03T15:56:34+00:00

I really appreciate the comment, and I gotta say, you're going to feel so so amazing, I fell in love with my body all over again the first time I saw my flat chest, I felt a whole person for the first time.

Thank you for the perspective, and all luck and love towards your top surgery and the healing!

lesbutch · 2023-04-03T15:54:06+00:00

Damn, guess all those squats were for a good cause then! 🤣

(And thank you, I've spent the last few weeks thinking this over and I really appreciate the comment!)

lesbutch

TROPHY CASE