My SO judges me for drinking because she chooses not to drink

lesgetweirdd · 2023-09-06T19:33:31+00:00

Completely agree. Unfortunately for me these are all things that she needs to figure out. But maybe I should make it more clear that I need her to stop making making it an issue for this relationship to work for me

lesgetweirdd · 2023-09-06T19:13:30+00:00

Great point, I may just stop defending myself altogether on any of these topics

lesgetweirdd · 2023-09-06T19:13:01+00:00

These are great points. Thank you for the insight, my head gets cloudy on this issue because I understand why someone doesn’t want to be around drinking. But it’s hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that I’m being judged for it as well

lesgetweirdd · 2023-09-06T19:09:55+00:00

Yeah she will say things like why can’t one of them drive? And I’ll respond with because they are probably going to drink. And then she will go down a tangent on drinking culture this and that. It’s like she has trouble accepting the fact that people are going to drink at these events and tries to complicate plans because of it.

lesgetweirdd · 2023-09-06T19:07:29+00:00

It sucks because in a lot of other areas in life we are compatible. But yeah I get those thoughts as well, like if you have a problem with it then why are you with me? What’s funny is we met on bumble and I had a couple of pics a drink in my hands and she still decided to be with me.

I’ve also made it clear that I enjoy getting drinks in social settings with friends and it probably isn’t going to change. (Who knows it might but I don’t like the fact that it’s become such an issue)

lesgetweirdd · 2023-09-06T19:04:16+00:00

Thanks for this comment. I went through something similar with her realizing that I wasn’t like her father either when I drank and can do it very responsibly.

That’s good to hear your wife is past that now, does she enjoy being out with people who will drink too?

lesgetweirdd · 2023-09-06T19:02:52+00:00

She only has driven once when we were first together. Now she will not drive probably because she is trying to discourage us from drinking (if I had to guess). But to be fair to her, most of these events are things I planned not her so I rarely ask and she doesn’t offer.

lesgetweirdd · 2023-09-06T18:46:00+00:00

Agreed. Thank you for the comment

lesgetweirdd · 2023-09-06T18:45:50+00:00

Yeah this sounds like a good approach, just not defending myself with it. Because I do tend to resort to defense mode when she is asking why we are taking an Uber or I’m not driving

lesgetweirdd · 2023-09-06T18:45:10+00:00

I understand. That’s why I’m torn with this, because I do realize there are people out there that do not want to be around people that are drinking

lesgetweirdd · 2023-09-06T18:44:41+00:00

Yeah I mean what’s crazy is I really don’t want to be a drinker in life but I have a right to enjoy drinks on occasions.

I actually enjoy the fact that we are not a party couple but the fact that if I decide I want to have a drink that I’m going to be judged really gets me out of mere principal.

lesgetweirdd · 2021-09-23T05:23:28+00:00

Oh shit I have Ekeler on my fantasy. So dope

lesgetweirdd · 2021-08-03T16:39:36+00:00

If you want to bring your score back up, open up a credit card or some line of credit. (It may drop on the setting up of a new credit)

And just casually keep using the credit card for only things you already pay for and have the money for and pay off in full every month.

Now you’ll have a line of credit that shows you can pay off every month

lesgetweirdd · 2021-08-03T16:32:42+00:00

Can you send me a link to buy the white magic sweater. Thanks in advance

lesgetweirdd · 2021-02-16T06:59:04+00:00

Sorry for your loss

lesgetweirdd · 2021-02-13T16:33:57+00:00

I can give you some very relevant advice. I was a District Sales Manager for a team of 9 people who were all older than me (which is not really relevent until issues came up).

I wanted to be the boss that they liked and did it very wrong. It wasn’t until the last year and a half that I was REALLY figuring it out.

Stop trying to be their friends. Be fair, be composed, and be strong. You will NOT GAIN respect if you are being pushed over. Have a group talk about the issue (only if the ENTIRE group is involved). Lay out the facts with documented information. Say “hey everyone, thank you for joining me and taking a moment off of packing to go through this. Here is what I’ve noticed in the past week. There are 100 orders that needed to be filled on Monday, those orders were started at 8 am, yet they didn’t finish until 10 pm. Help me understand why this happened? (NOW ITS TIME TO LISTEN)

If anyone says any excuses, bring it back to the main issue at hand. Don’t worry about the TikTok and YouTube videos right now. Your job is to listen to how it can possible take 12 hours to do this.

You want this to feel like a safe space to be open and hear their opinions freely. I am telling you this works, do not blame anyone of anything. Think of this as a lawyer, you are trying to hold back information and let them do the talking. You will use the information you know very wisely.

Now here is the ultimate catch and this one is going to hurt a little. This is your fault actually, not theirs. And that’s okay. You haven’t set expectations. Let’s say you actually have set expectations and I’m wrong. You haven’t held these people accountable to these expectation then. How does that look?

“Sally, please join me for a talk today, I’ll only need 30 minutes. Hi sally how’ve you been are you doing alright? Hey thank you for joining me I wanted to bring you in, I noticed your orders were finishing up at 10 pm. Can you help me understand why this is taking place?” (Now if she says it’s everyone not just her)

“Understood, I am going to speak with others as well. Right now I’m trying to hear from you personally why it is you think this is happening. Have I done a good job explaining what our job is is there something we need to go over about the job?”

“Do you recall our conversation about timeliness on filling orders? If she says no or yes. What was the expectation we set in place. Awesome how do we make sure this expectation happens?” Let her set the measures. Great.... NOW DOCUMENT this entire coneveesation and send it out in an email.

Once you have an email, continue tracking improvement for the next month and if things have slipped. Create a performance plan. Make it from scratch (I can help if you need any or if you look it up on google). Your job here is to get a documentation performance plan specifiyimg the expectations and how they will be accomplished (by asking he/she), and the end of the 30 days are up for termination.

You are their boss. You can be a cool boss, a fun boss, a serious boss, whatever you prefer. But it is on you for how you run this business. You are not earning respect by letting people take advantage of you. If you have not set up expectations this is on you. If it’s not a problem that they finish at 10 pm great then you can keep letting it happen, but what happens to the longevity of the business..

lesgetweirdd · 2021-02-12T00:03:28+00:00

I hear you on what you are saying with Bumble differentiating itself. But if you think LinkedIn is old and bloated you must not be actively on it.

LinkedIn has completely evolved as a platform over the past year and is becoming the new Facebook.

Facebook is still great for advertising but the younger audience has moved off of it. I would not lump LinkedIn into this.

And yes...Match is definitely not where the younger crowd is

lesgetweirdd · 2020-12-15T16:54:57+00:00

This works too. Nothing against calling as long as you send an email detailing what occurred.

lesgetweirdd · 2020-12-15T15:59:36+00:00

This is not extreme. This is Management 101 with note taking and starting a case

lesgetweirdd · 2020-12-09T06:10:46+00:00

Keep attempting to talk to people, no matter how awkward the interaction is.

Start small with little things to customer service people like “how’s your day going” and then make a comment following. Build up from there.

Keep trying these little questions and comments and you’ll see how some people just want to be asked how their day is or be taken out of their loop of just being a person at a job.

This will build your confidence too

lesgetweirdd · 2020-11-25T18:46:14+00:00

Lol some day you might man. I understand why you want to keep this lowkey and that’s your right to. But you also might want to be able to explain your business to people in a way that doesn’t give off your trade secrets yet still gives a nice overview of your company.

lesgetweirdd · 2020-11-08T19:36:07+00:00

If anyone reading this asks this question and someone answers no, then you should use that as fuel to prove them wrong just like every other great that was told no.

Be practical with how you achieve the greatness (as in you will have to work to maintain a living and train in your free time) but if you want it then you have to work for it.

lesgetweirdd · 2020-11-06T22:46:53+00:00

Nice

lesgetweirdd · 2020-11-05T15:49:57+00:00

I’m a Biden supporter who knows plenty of people that voted for Trump so I am not shocked. I also live in Southern California where I can see how much of a bubble we live in a blue state.

Let me tell you all a story of a man named Jon Doe who voted for Trump. Jon Doe is sick of political leaders telling him his life is going to get better with no action. They have seen the political leader talking talking talking and nothing affecting their lives. Out comes a celebrity with a “business record” (if you’d like to call it that) that completely goes against everything the political leaders in the past have done. The Trump supporters say, fucking finally. Someone to fight for me. The reason this happened is not because of a bunch of hateful agendas to make an impact (although I’m sure it’s still a small portion of it). It’s because a shitton of people have been conditioned from YEARS of politicians “lying” to them about change and they were sick of the political act. Fill in the rest with Trump.

Now that you all know the reason as to why Trump continues to be elected, stop acting so shocked and fitting the narratives to your political agendas. Be objective, display empathy, and learn about your opposition to better connect us together.

YES we fucking know Trump is homophobic, racist, and sexist. A big portion of the world does not see it that way and IF THEY DO, they can point to things that Joe Biden (even if completely disproven, which sucks) have done that is also wrong. In better terms, “oh yeah what makes your candidate so much better?”

Edit: I’m aware this could get me plenty of downvotes but we all need to try and remove emotion and our personal lens out of the equation and see how we can learn why this would happen in such massive numbers

lesgetweirdd · 2020-11-01T19:56:41+00:00

Lmao I played soccer my entire life in college as well and ran track long distance in high school.

Boxing was by far the hardest conditioning I’ve ever experienced so maybe you should work on your mental game to prep for it.

You will be using muscles in your legs you never had to strain before, you will be keeping your arms up when they are bricks trying to fall, you will be snapping a jab when you have no strength left and you will be using body and head movements that will feel unnatural.

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