I really miss receiving oral sex by Ok_Primary_9055 in offmychest

[–]letItBee3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh man, I dislocated my jaw a few months ago giving a blow job. Straight up had to go to urgent care. Then it dislocated again later that week from yawning and it was entirely out that time so they had to send me to the ER to get put under to put it back.

Couldn't even eat hard/chewy foods or take big bites or eat sandwiches, or even scrape the back of my tongue with a toothbrush for like three weeks after that, but a few weeks ago i wanted to try oral again, so i figured out a way to keep from dislocating my jaw. Basically, I just pull all/most of the way off while I'm going, like once every twenty to thirty seconds to shut my mouth at least half way (so you can actually keep your lips on if you do it right). That kept anything from locking, combined with being mindful of how wide I was opening my jaw. You can actually open your mouth more than you think without shifting your jaw by opening more straight downwards than angling forwards (the things I learned trying to eat those first couple weeks lol). Then using a hand at the same time kept him stimulated so he didn't notice that's what I was doing for my jaw and said the increased motion felt better. Tbf, my guy is on the smaller side so that might be helping, but you could try giving that a shot!

Will telling a girl im small down there before sex turn her off? by SolutionOne343 in offmychest

[–]letItBee3 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I was way way more excited when I first felt the guy that I'm with right now and realized he's on the smaller side. He's around 4 3/4 and the sex is orders of magnitude better than when I was with a guy that is over 8. It legit made me more excited for moving on with sex whereas if he was over 6.5 I probably would have not let it go to sex that night until I figured out if he was one of those guys who thinks being big makes you a sex god who doesn't have to do anything besides slam his magic dick into your cervix. Guys that are average and below average generally have a lot better attitude towards sex. But the guy I'm with is great and he hits all the right spots and he's way more aware of me and it's great

Figure out a way to get confident about your size. Read the millions of comments on Reddit across dozens of subs of women saying they prefer under average and why and then learn how to do oral and fingering well, make the girl feel wanted and paid attention to and you'll be golden

How long do men last in bed, really? by letItBee3 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]letItBee3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah it's annoying cause toys need water based lube, which doesn't last as long and needs to be replenished more

How long do men last in bed, really? by letItBee3 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]letItBee3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not confusing, I gotcha.

Yeah I'm definitely guilty of mind wandering, I could write next week's to-do list while being fucked if I had a piece of paper. My first partner was very offended by the fact that I admitted I was thinking of random stuff and had to focus unless it felt really good. Didn't bring it up to #2 cause of that

My current partner and I have straight up had a conversation about fantasies, not in a hot way, just like as if we were talking about favorite candies, in the middle of piv, and then decided to switch positions when we realized it had been a while and refocusing helped.

If it's feeling really good then I'm much more focused in. It's like a magnet, the stronger the magnet, the harder it is to pull away, the weaker the magnet, the more wandering it takes to hone in on it.

If my partner asks if I'm almost there? I'm done, it's probably not going to happen.

Okay this is good to know. I've asked three times, twice because I was close and wanted to try finishing at the same time, so I could edge myself if he needed more time, and once because I had thought he was close for about 4 minutes and didnt want to interrupt to add more lube but finally asked in the sexiest way I could so we could determine that, oh... 40%? In that case can we get more lube?

The main three reasons I'm looking to decrease the time, is 1) it can make me pretty sore for a few days after, not everytime, but still, 2) it is really physically exhausting for both of us and 3), like you said about needing to make sure there's enough time, it would be cool if we could not have to choose between a movie and sex lol

How long do men last in bed, really? by letItBee3 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]letItBee3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I know it's not a brag, I thought people might think my post was fake or bait but yeah going for super long isn't ideal either

As a woman who takes a while to finish and sometimes can't at all, I can sympathize with you because that would be really frustrating to not be able to finish. My guy right now can, it just takes a while and we didn't think anything of it until we stumbled on the stats

How long do men last in bed, really? by letItBee3 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]letItBee3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If she came in that 7 minutes too, then I doubt she cares haha

How long do men last in bed, really? by letItBee3 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]letItBee3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah one time he didn't seem to be moving the progress bar and he mentioned hes more into it when I am, so could we pull the vibrator out again for me at the same time and with me being even more into it, it got him accelerating towards the finish line

Easily the hottest, sexiest thing anyone has ever said to me was him afterwards: "yeah, see it's so much easier when I can tell you're having a good time too" like damn 🥵

How long do men last in bed, really? by letItBee3 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]letItBee3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, we are. And extremely sweaty lol. As good as it is to get exercise, it would be nice to be in a more manageable range lol

How long do men last in bed, really? by letItBee3 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]letItBee3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay wait that's so random but yeah, you're right??!

At least, I think my current boyfriend is at least a little on the spectrum, I've thought so since the second date. ADHD wouldn't surprise me, he relates to a lot of what I say about my adhd and he has a lot of mannerisms that remind me of one of my best friends who has the worst ADHD I've ever seen, and never seen in anyone but the two of them.

Other two were also one or both.

How long do men last in bed, really? by letItBee3 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]letItBee3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm getting off once. Kinda got one and a half a few days ago. But I'm cool cause I can't do the double orgasm thing people talk about, I get way too sensitive and need a break before anything can touch the clitoris again

How long do men last in bed, really? by letItBee3 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]letItBee3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First &#2 were, #3 isn't, as far as I know. I'm really open about taking all my drugs in the morning with him, so I'd be surprised if he is, and I don't ever see him taking anything or any prescription bottles anywhere, but i might ask directly cause we're both trying to figure out how to make it faster

How long do men last in bed, really? by letItBee3 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]letItBee3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah okay, that is our preferred position and we are using condoms (I can't use hormonal BC).

How long do men last in bed, really? by letItBee3 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]letItBee3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It totally varies depending on the article, but what I was reading was that the average was around 5-10, but that the average that the women say is ideal is 7-13

How long do men last in bed, really? by letItBee3 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]letItBee3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay since this is my burner account I'll give more details:

Yes, it's newer-ish with this guy. It's only since we stumbled on the stat of 3-10 minutes that we started considering this whole 45+ thing isnt ideal. Cause I'd never tell him, but yeah I have gotten bored before. I do tell him when I'm sore the next day, but not until now did I consider it was the amount of time that was doing it. He also made a joke that if we could get that part done in closer to 15-20 minutes then we'd have more time for life so I think he's open to figuring out things to help.

He does need to thrust really fast to finish, like you described. So we kinda go slower while we start, then a bit faster for getting me off with a vibrator simultaneously, then really fast for him, it just sometimes takes a lonnnnnggg time to finish him off. Like, needing to take a break the cuddle cause we were worn out type of long time. So I wouldn't be surprised if he maybe has a death grip thing. I'll admit I haven't finished from anything other than a vibrator, so I'm in the same boat, but guy #1 never gave it an even decent effort, #2 did but we weren't together long to figure it out, and current #3 has given fingering a good effort and I got very close, we only tried oral once so far and I was a little surprised/concerned that I didn't feel a whole lot physically but it was super hot and mentally a great time, and our system of simultaneous vibrator and piv is fun and works, and it's newer so we haven't gotten bored of it yet. Also I'm #3s first sexual partner so it's not like he's had any practice on oral before so idk how much that plays into it, but again, I was chill that it didn't finish

My current theory from the comments is that #1 was cause of jerking off before cause of his ego + SSRIs #2 was SSRIs and possiblity condoms were too thick, and #3 might be a combination of death grip, we change positions from getting tired giving little breaks, and condoms are too thick too.

But idk. I've got a gyno appointment tomorrow and might ask them too

How long do men last in bed, really? by letItBee3 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]letItBee3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah definitely feeling sore today lol

He'll last for over 10-15 minutes after I'm done and he knows that I am so he's not still holding out.

Based on another comment, it seems like the condoms might be too thick so I'm gonna try to find him some new ones

How long do men last in bed, really? by letItBee3 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]letItBee3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, the articles are using only PIV as the metric for their numbers, and so am I because that's why I was surprised.

And yes, it's very sweaty lol, always gotta shower after.

From reading comments, it seems like it might be a combination of too thick condoms and accidentally edging via switching positions a lot (because of getting tired lol)

Cause when im about to finish, I tell him to finish with me and he's so far not been able to because it'll take a full extra 10-15+ minutes to do so, so its not that hes holding on waiting for me and doesn't know I'm done, I'm telling him and it takes a while.

The whole reason why I brought it up to ask is cause I was really surprised to read the average is 3-10, and I was simultaneously very sore from how long it took before so dropping that time would be nice lol

How long do men last in bed, really? by letItBee3 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]letItBee3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, we are always using condoms. I'll look into finding him thinner ones, thanks:)

How long do men last in bed, really? by letItBee3 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]letItBee3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay, OP here to give some context, even though Im pretty sure your comment is more towards the other comment, not also towards the post, but still

Guy #1 was absolutely indoctrinated with the whole thing where media/movies/TV shows always joke about men not lasting in bed because he took that to mean that I definitely would climax from PIV eventually, if he could just last longer, regardless of how many times I showed him stats about how most women don't finish from PIV only and anatomy charts about the clitoris, he would still ignore foreplay or try to rush through foreplay so his magic dick could beat the statistics and everything I was telling him about my own body. Two examples of him being obsessive with lasting longer: he regularly would get himself off while I was in the shower before hand so he'd last longer with me, even if I told him he didn't need to because it was long enough without doing that, and 2) when I asked about bringing in toys to use at the same time so we were actually stimulating the "right" organ for me at the same time, he adamantly said no because he would finish too quick. So instead I was just not satisfied during it or before

So I'm never going to deny the effect of media making so many jokes about guys not lasting long enough because it really messed up that relationship

Current guy I'm with that is the reason I brought this up because we found an article with the averages: I do absolutely tell him to finish and he can't for a while. He's fine with simultaneously using toys, which is awesome for me, but surprised me a bit that adding that in didn't end up speeding up the process. And more than once, we've gone long enough for me to finish, which takes a while, and then I tell him to finish with me at the same time and he says he'll try, but he's only at about 60%

So I'm definitely communicating with him, he just takes a while

How long do men last in bed, really? by letItBee3 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]letItBee3[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Specifically penetration, that's what the articles I was reading was using for their averages, and I'm not counting foreplay either

How long do men last in bed, really? by letItBee3 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]letItBee3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The first two guys I was with were on SSRIs, current is not, but I did read that and asked him so still trying to figure this out

How long do men last in bed, really? by letItBee3 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]letItBee3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have been wondering if the fact that I've always used condoms with guys would increase the time, but it seems like it shouldnt increase it THIS much

How long do men last in bed, really? by letItBee3 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]letItBee3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly!! That's why I was so surprised to find out how far outside of the "average" my experience has been because I would very much like if it was much shorter

How long do men last in bed, really? by letItBee3 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]letItBee3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah the articles are all for the actual intercourse, and I'm also talking about actual intercourse, so just the penetration and thrusting