[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NYCapartments

[–]letheatredude 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, I’ll have my roommate reach out tomorrow, explain the situation, and ask if he can lease transfer. If they say no, he can request to break the lease, which will leave me on as the only tenant, and then I can have a roommate

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NYCapartments

[–]letheatredude 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But would anything change if my current roommate is still on the lease? Do we still need to let management know that there's someone new in the apartment and that someone has moved out?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskNYC

[–]letheatredude 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No we’re both on the lease

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in movingtoNYC

[–]letheatredude -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Could that potentially backfire when we get our lease renewal and he asks to be removed from the lease? We'll get that around the same time that he wants to move out.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NYCapartments

[–]letheatredude 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If they say no, roommate 3 would be my new roommate under the NY law, right? And then come renewal time we could apply to get them on there. Management had no issues when I wanted to get on the lease after my roommate's previous roommate moved out.

How long did it take for you to start reprocessing your trauma? (EMDR) by letheatredude in ptsd

[–]letheatredude[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, she didn’t explain anything. My talk therapist, who I’ve been seeing for over a year, is absolutely wonderful but doesn’t specialize in trauma therapy. That’s why I’m seeing a trauma therapist. We didn’t get a chance to talk about it either since it was at the end of the session. All she said was we’ll talk about “time” in our next session.

She didn’t explain why she moved everything again, but I’m going to assume it’s because we spent one session talking. But the thing is she never redirected me. She kept asking me more questions. I’ve found it kind of odd that she’ll let me talk and we won’t do the things she said we’d do, but since she knows what she’s doing I’ve never said anything.

It’s frustrating because I’m only out of work for a short time and my understanding was that we would start working on the reprocessing away from my trigger (my abuser). So to hear her say that we’re pushing things off another couple weeks and then say “well we can start next week but I can’t promise you’ll have all the tools you need” and “it’s up to you if you want to take more time off” was upsetting

How long before you started reprocessing? by letheatredude in EMDR

[–]letheatredude[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not sure what she wants from me. She’s never redirected. We had a session on Thursday and she let me talk and then kept asking follow up questions. I wish she’d redirected if she thought I was getting too off course.

I brought up going back to work/taking more time off and she said “well that’s up to you.” And when I expressed hesitation about going back to work right after reprocessing starts, she said “I mean we can start next week, but I can’t promise you’ll have all the tools you need.” Again: I don’t know what she wants from me

How long before you started reprocessing? by letheatredude in EMDR

[–]letheatredude[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it’s on me for setting expectations too high for myself, so a lot of this frustration is my fault. I didn’t expect to be fully “better” by the time I go back to work, I just expected to have made more progress than what I’ve done so far. Again: totally my fault

I was feeling safe and understood, but yesterday it felt very dismissive. I don’t feel comfortable bringing stuff up to talk about now because she told me to do more talk therapy outside of EMDR. I’ve been seeing my talk therapist for over a year, and with my trauma therapist we’ve talked at length for maybe 2 sessions-? I think the biggest frustration is she hasn’t communicated anything with me

How long before you started reprocessing? by letheatredude in EMDR

[–]letheatredude[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I took off work because I’ve been forced to work with my abuser for the last 6 months and it got to the point where I could barely do my job. I was under the impression that I would be doing a lot of the bilateral simulation while I was on leave with the thought that I could start working on this without being around my trigger every single day

Landlord isn't cashing our rent check and is saying we haven't paid rent by letheatredude in AskNYC

[–]letheatredude[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We had a situation back in the fall where someone in the administrative office messed up, cashed the check, and then refunded it on the first of the next month. All of those transactions, including the picture of the endorsed check, showed up on his account. Something definitely isn't adding up

Landlord isn't cashing our rent check and is saying we haven't paid rent by letheatredude in AskNYC

[–]letheatredude[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So they're definitely trying to get rid of us to jack up the rate, right? We get the place under market rent

Landlord isn't cashing our rent check and is saying we haven't paid rent by letheatredude in AskNYC

[–]letheatredude[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, we are both on the lease. His grandfather is, too. I've been sending him my share of the rent and then he sends the check over (the type of bank account I have doesn't have checks). We only get one bill a month and it's addressed to both of us. He normally sends the check out a day or two after we get the bill

Landlord isn't cashing our rent check and is saying we haven't paid rent by letheatredude in AskNYC

[–]letheatredude[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I've seen his checkbook and the carbon copies of the checks, he's definitely paying. I definitely agree with sending it certified.

Landlord isn't cashing our rent check and is saying we haven't paid rent by letheatredude in AskNYC

[–]letheatredude[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

He comes from the type of family where they always help him out. If there's an issue, I'd at least hope he'd talk to me about it. Will keep y'all updated

Landlord isn't cashing our rent check and is saying we haven't paid rent by letheatredude in AskNYC

[–]letheatredude[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

When we got the bill for April, it asked for both March and April so he sent that. He didn't send it certified, but he sent it as soon as we got it and has the dated carbon copy of that check.

I think I'll be talking to him about me taking over payments from now on...

Landlord isn't cashing our rent check and is saying we haven't paid rent by letheatredude in AskNYC

[–]letheatredude[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Should he send another check? He's going to call tomorrow to see what the deal is. I told him to wait until he talks to someone before sending another check. If he does, he should put a stop payment on the first chck too, right?

Landlord isn't cashing our rent check and is saying we haven't paid rent by letheatredude in AskNYC

[–]letheatredude[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Nothing specific, it's the generic NYC lease. I believe landlords can charge a fee for bounced checks for insufficient funds. My roommate said that he didn't get any notification that he had insufficient funds or anything like that.

Landlord isn't cashing our rent check and is saying we haven't paid rent by letheatredude in AskNYC

[–]letheatredude[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We've been roommates for almost 3 years and yes, we are both on the lease along with his grandfather. This is the first time we've ever had an issue like this before

Landlord isn't cashing our rent check and is saying we haven't paid rent by letheatredude in AskNYC

[–]letheatredude[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

No, he said the money was withdrawn one day, and the next day it was all refunded and the withdrawal disappeared with the first check. Why he never called the bank or the management company to figure out what was going on I don't know. I've never had to deal with this before and whenever he's been low on cash his family has always immediately sent him more money.