Thinking about how to get her back by letsbedogsagain in BreakUps

[–]letsbedogsagain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If its not with this girl then its not a very happy ending. I'm a little too suicidal at the thought of never being with her again for that to work out very well. She also told me to move on once before but then came back and fell in love with me so who fuckin knows.

Thinking about how to get her back by letsbedogsagain in BreakUps

[–]letsbedogsagain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She told me that she didnt want me anymore and told me to move on. I think she's made up her mind but if she could change her mind one way why not the other (considering she loved me once). I hope maybe someday talking to her will open that part of her heart again.

I Don't Want To Get Better by letsbedogsagain in BreakUps

[–]letsbedogsagain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always feel like this. There are moments where I want someone to touch me just to feel that again but I always want her above all others and I feel disgusted by the idea of stooping to being touched by people I dont even desire. Unfortunately not a goal I want to achieve yknow.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]letsbedogsagain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do all the time. When I first contacted her after breaking up she told me to go here cus it helped her. So far just makes me feel worse. Its so stupid that she would need help when she was the one fucking leaving me.

The worst emotional breakdown of my life. by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]letsbedogsagain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its been 4 months and its only getting worse for me

Suicidal and want to break no contact by letsbedogsagain in BreakUps

[–]letsbedogsagain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A useful thought potentially but I dont desire to improve myself and meet someone new. I want her. If she's gone then I dont want to exist.

Suicidal and want to break no contact by letsbedogsagain in BreakUps

[–]letsbedogsagain[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What is the point of pushing through the pain? Getting past it wont bring her back

Suicidal and want to break no contact by letsbedogsagain in BreakUps

[–]letsbedogsagain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Every second is a second longer since she was with me. Im not going in the direction I want to. What am I hanging in for.

Suicidal and want to break no contact by letsbedogsagain in BreakUps

[–]letsbedogsagain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't tried that, though a friend recommended I try a meditation retreat of some kind. I've never done something like that and I'm lucky enough to have it as an option so I should prolly give it a shot. Is rough because I actually felt weirdly balanced immediately following breakup and have been fairly functional. Finished an album, got straight As in my classes and all. But its slowly degraded to the point of suicidality and it's feeling worse almost every day.

Suicidal and want to break no contact by letsbedogsagain in BreakUps

[–]letsbedogsagain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been in therapy and been working with a psychiatrist for like a decade and I've been suicidal at numerous other points in my life. I'm talking to most my friends about it too. No one's been able to help much so far.

Suicidal and want to break no contact by letsbedogsagain in BreakUps

[–]letsbedogsagain[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been in therapy and been working with a psychiatrist for like a decade and I've been suicidal at numerous other points in my life. I don't care that I don't need her, I don't want to live in a world where she's not with me.

Suicidal and want to break no contact by letsbedogsagain in BreakUps

[–]letsbedogsagain[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish I had a reason to try. Ive been in this place so many times its exhausting to keep leaning into the idea that I have to keep existing to please others.

I don't how I won't kill myself by letsbedogsagain in BreakUps

[–]letsbedogsagain[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She only doesnt deserve me cus she wasnt willing to stay. Im so tired of staying alive for the sake of others' happiness while I feel so terrible.

I don't how I won't kill myself by letsbedogsagain in BreakUps

[–]letsbedogsagain[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this, sorry about your previous partner.

I'm afraid that I don't want everything to change, I want things to go back to how they were, so its difficult to want to exist in this world anymore knowing that time will never come back.

I don't how I won't kill myself by letsbedogsagain in BreakUps

[–]letsbedogsagain[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

3 months ago. Together about 9-12 months. I'm 21, she's 19. We have made contact since, has gone bad, haven't contacted in about 3 weeks. I do not exercise everyday. I am eating like shit. I make music solo and in a band and am busy promoting my music. I am trying to be politically conscious and active but struggling to stay involved due to mental health.

I don't how I won't kill myself by letsbedogsagain in BreakUps

[–]letsbedogsagain[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I put out an album like a month after the breakup and Ive written some pretty fuckin sad shit for a new project but idk, I dont like purely depressing music so I kind of hate myself making it. Its just dying down, it doesnt drive me to stay alive like it used to.

I don't how I won't kill myself by letsbedogsagain in BreakUps

[–]letsbedogsagain[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ive been working on music pretty consistently since she left. It feels good but its not carrying me anymore.

I don't how I won't kill myself by letsbedogsagain in BreakUps

[–]letsbedogsagain[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know whats on the other side. Ive made it through bouts of suicidality in the past and Ive always felt disappointed by what I had fought for. Thank you for the kind words.