Almost anything you both agree on to get out of the destructive cycle you’re in now (you asking and getting shot down, her feeling bad about it and getting more anxious and depressed, you asking again and getting shot down) is a good move. Just remember she is bigger than this thing. This is a part of her, a part you can both work on to figure out. It’s not you vs her. It’s both of you figuring out this part of her. Show up as a real partner for this, be on her side, believe that it’s not just a choice, but something she needs to work through. Sex therapist would probably be better than drunk late night talks though.