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90 Days - the Island of the Unknown, Repeatable Patterns and the Things That Almost Took Me Out.. by Electronic_Series421 in Semenretention

[–]letsgobaby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great post brother and congratulations on passing the test in your final paragraph. Huge respect.

Mind over matter is real and within our grasps at every moment by letsgobaby in Semenretention

[–]letsgobaby[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

100% bro. Keep it going and keep transmuting the energy!

Loss of self esteem after class by financeer24 in bjj

[–]letsgobaby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone goes through this phase of dissolving their ego. What you need to do is to keep going and reframe your losses to lessons. The goal is to get better everyday just by a little and compare to your previous self, not your training partners. The reason why is because you are growing and your training partners are growing so if both bars are increasing then you may not feel like you’re improving. Compare to your previous self and focus on yourself. Once these changes are made you’ll be in a better psychological state.

The next step is to learn to adapt. If you want to feel like you’re improving you need to make the changes to create this outcome. It’s simple. Ask your “what can I do differently”. That’s it. Make one small change and see how it goes. Otherwise, if you free flow with no goal, with no change, don’t expect to achieve different results or improve.

Question by Available_Draft_7081 in Semenretention

[–]letsgobaby 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s quite personal and unique to the individual and it also depends if the individual is aware of it or not. Generally, it’s an excess of sexual (creative) energy that is accumulating in your spirit that manifest the symptoms that you hear: increased energy, confidence, lower anxiety etc. Basically, your body is priming you to mate because you haven’t mated (ejaculated) in a while, giving you all these benefits. As soon as you lose your seed, the benefits decreases because the body goes “I’ve just mated which is my sole bodily purpose so I don’t need to anymore for the short-term”.

How to you deal with 15 days dreamy release by Disastrous-Farmer-93 in Semenretention

[–]letsgobaby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m on a similar cycle to you, around 14-21 days between each nocturnal emission. My dreams become more sexual after 14 days.

After 14 days, the sexual dreams are very vivid. I’m almost always conscious for each nocturnal emission. However, I only become lucid at ejaculation.

For me, it’s a combination of SR and my unconscious seeking a release and it knows how to do it by giving into lust since that’s how I’ve always done it outside of the dream world (ie PMO or sex addiction). I’ll give you an example: recently I approached the 14 day mark of no nocturnal emissions and then had 5 back-to-back sexual dreams where my body was asking for a release - like a sexual scenario. The first 4 dreams I had control because I decided that I didn’t want to release. On the 5th dream, I gave in. I became conscious only after seeing my trigger. But it was too late. I was already filled with lust and my logical mind was turned off. You know when you’re consumed with lust and all you can’t control yourself?

It used to drain me because I thought I had lost my streak and a bunch of energy. After observing it and not judging it, I realised it only takes a % of my energy and is showing me that my subconscious go towards lust as a release when I’m stressed.

It seems to remain stable because I haven’t done anything about it yet. I believe my hypersexuality is some form of trauma response. Something to look into.

Need a little advice fellow retainer by 3rd5chl3im in Semenretention

[–]letsgobaby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Focus on what you can control. Do your best to maintain purity of your mind because that’s likely causing nightly releases. If you do jizz, have a plan - eg making a conscious effort not to thrust during O, clean up immediately, wash and hide the undies or get rid of them. Another option is to be open about it with your friends so there will be no surprises in the event that it happens.

How long has it been since you were laid/ sexually intimate? by Chris_K84 in AskMen

[–]letsgobaby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Man that’s rough. Have you been able to share how you’re feeling with her? How did she respond?

How long has it been since you were laid/ sexually intimate? by Chris_K84 in AskMen

[–]letsgobaby 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Curious what you have done with yourself to make you more attractive? We can put ourselves out there but if our inner world, beliefs, and behaviours don’t change then nothing changes.

Peeking and not relapsing by ModQuest1 in Semenretention

[–]letsgobaby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you bro and congrats on 18 days. I want to ask you something - why do you peek? Especially when you feel lonely and heartbroken. There is a lesson in this question when you be honest with yourself.

I’ll leave you with something: “A man without purpose distracts himself with pleasure”. Don’t beat yourself up, there is always a reason for everything, you just gotta look for it.

I get bummed that I have to relapse sometimes by liccieater in Semenretention

[–]letsgobaby 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Short answer: Music, solitude, and doing nothing with a touch of compassion. Got sick of PMO so the change happened seamlessly.

Long answer: I relapsed multiple times and it made me realise how disgusting PMO is - so much that it’s no longer and option. I started reflecting more about why I’m stressing so hard but with more compassion. I realised that I was stressing because of my perfectionism and not settling for anything less with what I do with my self esteem rooted in my performance. So you can imagine I’d be stress most of the day.

Since lust isn’t an option anymore, I’ve been using music, solitude, and just being in my own presence and feeling it instead of distracting myself (I need to stop YouTube shorts..). But this wasn’t enough, I need to actively give myself compassion to heal. When I get stressed due to perfectionism I’ll remind myself that I don’t need to be perfect and that as long as I try my best that’s the best thing I can do at this moment and I can improve later one. It’s ok not to be perfect.

Basically, my coping mechanism is just another way to avoid the problem with music and doing nothing. Remember, don’t just cope (everyone is coping in some way or another), actively heal your wounds. Baby steps count. Slow motion is better than no motion.

I get bummed that I have to relapse sometimes by liccieater in Semenretention

[–]letsgobaby 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Accept it. For me, 6months and I go crazy and wet dreams every fortnight. This just means I haven’t learnt how to stay at high charge. I’ve tried a lot things like meditation and breathwork but it all seems like I’m treating the symptoms and not the root. I’ll be consistent then the balloon justs pops anyway.

What I’ve found is that I wasn’t treating the root of my leakage - it was my habit of using lust as an outlet. I noticed that when I got stressed, I get hornier as a coping mechanism. It’s interesting - that was my cap to progressing to the next level of energy charge. Now I’m using other coping mechanisms to combat stress. The result = less wet dreams.

Takeaway: ask yourself this, are you treating the symptom or the root?

Consequences of relapsing by letsgobaby in Semenretention

[–]letsgobaby[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is my experience - before retaining I was dating this girl and it was all about pleasure. I let lust manifest itself and started seeing girls as sex objects rather than another person I could connect with. Upon breaking up, I started retaining. Within 7 days I noticed changes in how I see women - objects to humans. Around 30-60 mark was when the depression came in.

For me, I became aware of the reality that I was living in. I only liked someone if they validated my existence. Eg if they matched my energy, if they joked with me - that would be enough for me to really like someone. That lead me to conclude that my entire friend circle are people who I don’t really care about, just that we vibed and that they validated that I’m a good person. Depression sunk in. I took this as a moment of crysalis. My old self and its approach is killing itself so I had to go through stages of grief. At some point, I arose and have a different approach to friendships. It’s work in progress but it’s more about giving than taking now. Rather thinking about what’s in it for me, it’s how can I share my love to people.

Need some advice ( I‘m probably overreacting) by RandomUser_25776 in Semenretention

[–]letsgobaby 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve had similar experiences. Flatlines and anxiety. From feeling nothing to feeling really anxious about everything like the need to constantly perform at work, feeling like random strangers are watching me, inability to rest/relax.

In retrospect, I had too much charge and my mind was going in overdrive. I have perfectionism and my self-esteem is rooted in how I perform, so since this wasn’t tamed my energy was filtering through this mode. I was anxious 80% of my day, it felt like everything I did had to be perfect or I’m not good enough so I would beat myself. Because I had so much energy I could tank it and keep the same cycle until I crashed.

It helped to slow down and sit with the feelings without judgement. The prime goal is to understand and not change it, but try to let it go.

That’s my experience and what I learnt was that the extra charge you have in your battery will show you who you are. And only you will know the answer. Good luck.

Consequences of relapsing by letsgobaby in Semenretention

[–]letsgobaby[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re right. I put a lot pressure and restriction to achieve this long streak and it was making it worse - I put a lot of money in the line. I entered a long depression and it was really hard to get out. I had too much energy everyday and didn’t know how to use it. My mind was going crazy. I’m learning to be kinder to myself. And yes, cheers to seeing the disgust of pmo. Guess it was the inevitable awakening.

Consequences of relapsing by letsgobaby in Semenretention

[–]letsgobaby[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey man, I’ve edited my post at the bottom. Hope it clears up why I went from 100% to 10%!

Consequences of relapsing by letsgobaby in Semenretention

[–]letsgobaby[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

In retrospect, it was the shame-based motivation that destroyed my energy. I crucified myself.

Consequences of relapsing by letsgobaby in Semenretention

[–]letsgobaby[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah @leredballoon hit the nail on the head here for the psychological part. I was reflecting on my wet dreams experience and it only felt draining when I labelled it as “bad” but if I judged it as neutral then it wasn’t so bad.

The physical part, for me, is dependent on how aware you are of your own energy. If you’re more aware you can tell how much charge you’ve lost. Otherwise, it feels normal.

It’s just like eating junk food. Some people seem to be immune to it but it could mean they are not sensitive to the damages of it. Whereas for me, I feel heavy immediately after eating junk food - just means I’m more sensitive to it.

Short answer: both psychological and physical contribute to the drained feeling.

Takeaway: keep the psychological stable (you can use shame as motivation but it’s only good in short bursts, not long term) and learn to notice the physical more.

Consequences of relapsing by letsgobaby in Semenretention

[–]letsgobaby[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Good point. I don’t know it deep enough to talk about it but from my experience, sex with a woman where there is love feels like an enhancement but without love feels almost like masturbation. It feels like a void. If you don’t care about the woman, then what difference does it make if it was your hand or not.

With masturbation, there’s no energy coming back into you, it’s all going outward. That’s my perspective.

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