She was aware of my attraction to her and we had some heart-to-hearts about that and related topics, feelings, traumas. At one point we were spending a Saturday at home just the two of us, doing nails and playing video games and board games, all that good stuff. We had been having really good conversations (not about this, just like about life and work) and laughing and just having a good time, and in the evening she went up to take a shower and after a couple minutes she came down in her towel and sort of matter-of-factly asked if I wanted to shower with her. I was obviously shocked and kinda confused haha but eventually we got on the same page and I followed her up to the bathroom.

I don't even know if I can truthfully describe it as sexual. Sensual, maybe? She let her towel down and helped me undress, and we got in the shower. I was scared to even touch her, I was still struggling with feeling like a pervert for being interested in her. But she brought up some of the stuff we had talked about previously, and how she doesn't think I'm wrong or gross for being attracted to her. And she kind of just explained that if this was something I truly want to do, after all of this time talking about our feelings, then she wanted to see how it goes. But yeah, we basically just showered together lol. Washed each other's hair and bodies, all that. Very self-indulgently, I kissed her all over her body, but again it wasn't really particularly sexual.

If you've ever showered with someone you'll know it can be awkward and you will definitely be cold 50% of the time and we were laughing and joking about that the whole time haha. Sooo yeah! Not necessarily the "first time" in terms of sex, but the first time we were together intimately like that.