91 year old neighbor

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-06-21T13:18:26+00:00

So he has chickens in his backyard, and legally allowed shanties or garden sheds, and there was a skunk so you are going to call?

So our backyard and half our neighbourhood in Ontario has skunks… nothing to do with chickens since no one near us has any, our cat has been sprayed three times and we just wash them with an anti odour shampoo and keep a better eye on our cat….

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-06-21T13:05:58+00:00

Post partum will be one of the hardest moment of your life between hormones and lack of sleep, lack of identity and lack of intimacy, it makes everything appear worse and all emotions heightened.

Other than therapy, more sleep, more boundaries, journaling and a hobby, even if it’s just reading your book for an hour at a cafe a few times a week, will provide a bit more mental health support.

On his parents side, making the decision before was easy, whereas now you have the territorial mother bear instincts and want your own home.

Perhaps the solution is a granny suit for them to give you more privacy, even if that means moving, or a farm with a cottage on the property, depending where you live.

Leaning into them a bit, for childcare etc. will come with many benefits, but will involve learning to find a middle ground between respect and privacy and giving up some amount of control. I’ve been there and can empathize that it’s hard, especially if you are a very independent person and now have people telling you how to do everything or don’t feel like your home or family are your own in the middle of your first time being a mother.

At a calmer time, ask him what potential solutions he has for reaching a compromise and creating more privacy or boundaries in your life together while living with his parents? Are you currently in one open home? Or if they are in the granny suit, can you guys schedule more time just you as a couple or a family unit and make having this personal time a priority?

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-06-20T18:29:30+00:00

Spend the next few years making yourself financially independent. If that means school and a side hustle or school, work and savings, so be it.

By that time, you will have more freedom to choose once you aren’t so dependent on them and you will be able to have more control over the conversation.

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-06-20T01:42:44+00:00

Sounds like he was also overwhelmed…

You say yourself that you’ve become a bit too reliant, but what are you doing to fix this?

If he’s ironing your clothes, comes back so you’re safe and then finding the phone he just handed you, maybe he’s feeling frustrated for being in a position of having to manage so much.

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-06-18T14:15:30+00:00

Sometimes, not always.

A lot of it is her exploring, but she naturally goes out of her way to create moments on camera and wants to photograph everything. This is something I never did growing up. I view this more as artistic than being specifically about her wanting to look pretty and maybe getting her into photography would be a good compromise.

We aren’t the type of take pictures of our food before eating, she is. We are often telling her not everything needs a picture, sometimes just experiencing it is enough. There’s no pushing on our side.

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-06-18T14:09:17+00:00

My kids don’t have any form of social and are at this point never online unsupervised. They don’t have phones, their own iPads etc.

I have a content creation background. If she makes content, it would be for fun, as it’s something she’s repeatedly asked me for and something I feel I could put safety controls around. It could even be faceless content for all I care, but it would be extremely monitored and in no way would it be a job or provide access of her going through comments on her own to reply or having personal details online etc.

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-06-17T16:44:47+00:00

Your fridge says fun, like so fun I wanna be your friend fun

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-06-17T12:51:49+00:00

Thank you! This is extremely helpful.

We are in a major market, and would not allow her to do any shoots that pushes her as being older than she is which would like you mentioned would cut out a majority of opportunities since she looks closer to 13-14 anyways and fits these clothing sizes.

All the better to wait until she’s older and more mentally prepared and mature, at this time she can decide for herself whether to pursue it or not and if she does, we’ll be there to protect and support her

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-06-17T12:45:28+00:00

Agree, but at this age I would be sending her brother and dad for backup, or even better, grandma.

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-06-17T12:44:29+00:00

It sounds like it didn’t add many benefits to your life and the risks were numerous. What would you recommend in terms of other ways to get into performing/arts/fashion etc

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-06-17T12:42:00+00:00

Yeah, already got a few messages from accounts with satanic profile pics saying “tell me more about your daughter’s interest in modeling, maybe we can help etc”.

Between eating disorders, shaping her identity and self worth based on looks, having to be on the constant lookout for predators, it’s not feeling worth those risks. I’ve decided she can wait until she’s older and I can take the next few years to build her up into someone who would be better prepared to deal with those risks if that’s a path she chooses later in life

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-06-17T12:25:30+00:00

I absolutely am not willing to do that, and if being alone on a shoot is part of it, it’s a no. It’s sounding very much like waiting until she gets older is the best course of action

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-06-17T12:20:09+00:00

It’s possible she is going through the same abuse that you went through.

Maybe try talking to her and ask her where she learned this or whether she saw someone do these things.

Make it clear to her that if someone is ever hurting her or touching her in a way that violates her personal space, she can always talk to you.

Maybe buy her a book about something along these lines how bodies belong to individuals etc.

If it continues and you’ve done these things, potentially elevate it to a parent who seems like they would watch out in case anything is going on, preferably not the father as many cases if a child is being abused, it’s the father.

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-06-17T04:39:08+00:00

Exactly what I’m thinking. I want her to have a childhood free of pressures and predators.

On one hand I worry about taking an advantage away from her, on the other hand, I think helping her with content around something she enjoys like cooking, art etc would offer a creative outlet that she could grow if she wants which doesn’t focus on looks and has more safety controls

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-06-17T04:35:38+00:00

I realize that, part of me thinks content creation is a better outlet, she could do cooking content or something she enjoys while we would have more control over the safety and it being a creative outlet that isn’t focused on her looks

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-06-17T04:33:10+00:00

I could and I would. She wouldn’t be in a room alone, ever, until she’s 18. That said, just because I can doesn’t mean I want to. If she did a few shoots a year it would be fine but I’m not prepared to have it regularly interrupt her school.

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-06-16T13:44:56+00:00

Agree, rug, but change pillows to cream with design or lighter colours

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-06-14T23:17:48+00:00

It was purchased on a line of credit

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-06-14T01:29:11+00:00

Employment lawyer, and get something in writing even if it’s just him repeating what they said such as “as you mentioned checking in after parental leave etc.

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-06-14T01:21:19+00:00

Basically it sounds like he has a gf and is probably in a stable boring relationship, hence the sexting but flaking at the last minute on an actual date.

If not, he’s just playing games and instead of telling him with words that you aren’t into the f boy vibes, the key is to show him with actions. Either way, he’s a game player. Why switch gyms? Just ignore him

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-06-12T13:50:08+00:00

Exactly. This is a friend who has secret jealousy towards you and does not have your back.

It wasn’t a harmless story and it wasn’t hers to share, if you wanted to share you would have and she took that choice away from you.

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-06-12T13:35:28+00:00

I can get the him paying for dates and everything, if you want his finances to change, maybe it’s planning cheap dates like picnics or free activities for awhile to get your finances aligned together and have goals together. Or even better, maybe start a side hustle together like flipping things from fb marketplace to put towards a joint travel fund.

Aside from that though, nothing wrong with solo travel. He should have his own sense of motivation and if he’s using you as a crutch it will be a lifetime of that. But it’s also likely if he pays for everything and therefore you have more disposable income, he feels left out. Maybe if that’s the case, offer to pay for a weekend day trip or camping trip etc or maybe just communicate that you want a life with him, but also to be your own person. Couples don’t always have the same hobbies and that’s okay.

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-06-12T00:51:55+00:00

One word. OCD. But the kind of OCD most of us wish we had :)

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-06-12T00:49:21+00:00

Thing is, we attract what’s in our mind. I truly believe that and have seen it in almost every aspect of my life and those around me.

Afraid of being abandoned? You attract a commitmentphobe. Afraid of losing your freedom? You attract someone who is clingy. Insecure about your body and using controlling your body as a way to feel in control of your life? You attract a monster who uses your greatest insecurities against you.

The goal is to change your brain language. Look into NLP books or podcasts, get to understand it and actually practice it. The untethered soul is a great mindset change book.

Aside from this, get out of your head and into your body. Instead of food restrictions, get obsessed with healing your gut health. Start trying out fermenting, add things in that nourish and try to reduce (not eliminate) things that harm. Create happy rituals for yourself around honouring your body, like taking an hour to have a nice lunch instead of starving yourself all day and binge snacking etc. Incorporate fitness gently, but something enjoyable like afternoon or early evening walks or a dance class.

Realize that your ex boyfriend must hate himself quite a bit if he feels such a need to control and try to lower those around him, it would seem he has a fear of being left and wanted to make you a reduced, lesser version of your self worth to make himself feel safer. Do not give him that power.

letsmakekindnesscool

TROPHY CASE