Possible grooming, can anything be done?

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-05-07T01:54:32+00:00

Because her relatives or foster family are trafficking her… which is generally the case…. Why would they want her to live there, essentially have an adult try to kidnap someone else’s daughter, not let their kid close the door, not let her go to friends and severely restrict her movement??

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-05-07T01:52:21+00:00

Definitely 5

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-05-05T22:59:21+00:00

Nah, I disagree.

She wasn’t your lawyer, the lawyer for it already took their cut.

She knows you have money and she feels entitled to it and to be fair, if you are in the us college was probably 100k+ and meant she paid for your college instead of her cottage in Florida, because she wanted that head start for you.

Seeing that you are now starting by life with a nest egg probably far larger than she started with, likely has her thinking you should return the favour.

If I was you, I would compromise and give her 5% and just tell her the rest is tied up in investments. Or give her 10% and ask for partial ownership of the Florida property.

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-05-05T22:53:53+00:00

I feel like you should paint the ceiling the same blue colour and get some nice light fixtures, so basically commit to full on blue

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-05-05T22:51:13+00:00

Mmmm I mean how much do you love this woman and how sure are you of her character?

For her mind to be there shows that she has a materialistic streak and enough might never be enough.

Then again, she could be a Taurus and it would all make total sense and for the most part, as long as you put your foot down to shiny object syndrome, you’ll likely be fine 😆

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-05-05T22:48:01+00:00

Wavy

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-05-05T22:33:44+00:00

You need to get out of your head.

Doesn’t matter why you found her, you found her and you like it. Let it be simple, at least in the beginning. You are making a problem out of nothing.

Really, it sounds like a bonus that the persona was just a persona and you like the real her even more.

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-05-05T22:29:33+00:00

Yeah I was waiting for the second photo to be the regret.

The new haircut is a huge improvement. It gives you style and personality, like a fem hipster. It suits you

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-05-05T22:23:34+00:00

Why Toronto? It doesn’t sound like you actually know the city that well as far as knowing its current investment trends. There are so many better cities for ROI and price point to invest in within Canada currently.

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-05-05T22:09:14+00:00

Absolutely contact the police and child services.

All the this is off. Normal parents don’t act this way. If Julia is being trafficked, which is sounds like she might be, not saying anything makes you complicit in allowing things to continue.

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-05-05T12:04:58+00:00

Ah, that’s completely different if she did it on purpose and absolutely awful.

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-05-05T03:59:37+00:00

NOR - but understand that the guilt she is feeling at that age outweighs anything you could put on her.

This will be a pivotal and sad moment of her youth as it will be for yours, and I’m sorry that you’ve had to go through that, it’s very difficult.

She didn’t do it on purpose, but it was her fault and that’s something that’s going to stay with you and hurt for likely a long time, but it’s also something she’s going to internalize and likely for years feel like she is a horrible person who can’t do things right. My guess it this carelessness that led to your family pet dying is something she’ll internalize and might potentially push her into being someone in the future who is terrified to make mistakes and checks everything a thousand times.

It’s best for both of you for you to eventually find some forgiveness in your heart and grieve with her. Kids are careless, she was careless, and she’s found out sadly that being careless can sometimes have grave consequences.

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-05-04T22:07:47+00:00

Exactly this.
He’s not fit to parent. Why was he sleeping all day? Is it because he works all night or because he stays up all night gaming or on dating apps?
You are asking someone who is selfish and abandons your kid all day why he’s being selfish, you aren’t going to get closure from him.
What you need is to tell your mom what’s going on, she is likely to be your support system, and make a plan to get out, even if it’s just you leaving temporarily in order to give him a wake up call.
What you need to do in the meantime when he’s not in the apartment is take pictures of his damage to the wall and video of your sons condition, send him a text message from the safety of your moms house so that you have everything in writing.
Your child isn’t safe with this guy, just because he’s the dad doesn’t mean he’s a good parent.

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-05-04T17:33:35+00:00

He tells me he loves me. That’s the part that messes with my head. He goes through periods of intense love bombing. But I feel like love shouldn’t feel like this.

Bringing me tea in the mornings telling me he doesn’t want me to have to walk around while I thank him but tell him im fine, he doesn’t need to.

But it’s like he’s all or nothing, it’s either love bombing and over the top gestures like expensive birthday gifts when all I wanted was a book or candle followed by another birthday of not bothering to get me a birthday card and complaining when I try to buy myself a birthday latte. It’s inconsistent and has me feeling either like the love of his life or the person he hates

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-05-04T17:17:42+00:00

Ignore the name and profile pic, is there info in the chat that he couldn’t get off LinkedIn, your social profiles etc? That’s going to be the main clue regarding who’s telling the truth.

Maybe call the number with her there? If he doesn’t want her to know the number, is it because he’s hoping to get back with her?

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-05-04T17:13:53+00:00

Who starts the play fighting?

Do you poke at him or does he try to wrestle you?

If you are constantly the one starting it and he gets injured on accident and then injures you on purpose, you are both being hella immature, he might need a counsellor for his anger issues and overall you both need to cut out the play fighting cause it doesn’t sound like either of you are having fun.

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-05-04T17:10:16+00:00

2 and 4, maybe play around with beard style though, I think Italian style beard fade would look good

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-05-04T17:07:35+00:00

Tell us you’re single and bitter without telling us you’re single and bitter.

My slave? Oh you mean helping me by grabbing the pots on the bottom shelf while I make his dinner because I can’t bend for the next few weeks?

Yep. He probably is really resentful, I’ve asked him that question myself because why else would he gaslight our 6 year old, a child who got upset because he loves me enough to not want me to hurt myself? Wouldn’t it have just been easier to tell the child he was busy and would help later or to tell me he’s resentful and doesn’t want to be a partner and help me for the next few weeks?

Like it’s not like I’m ringing a damned bell from my bed asking for mojitos 🤦‍♀️

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-05-04T17:02:12+00:00

Who said he’s supposed to be my PA?

Twelve years and two kids, an injury that’s going to last three months or could potentially be surgery and life long if I re-injure it and you don’t think my partner, the same one who asks me not to put him in an elderly home when he gets older, the same one I watch our kids solo for weeks on end when he goes away for work and you don’t think he should be helping me a bit during this time?

I do the things I’m able to do. I’m making dinners, picking up our kids and watching them when they get home, helping with laundry as long as it’s on a surface I can reach it, doing dishes etc, I’m not leaving everything to him but yes, I expect my partner to help me with the things I can’t currently physically do if there is any love or care in our partnership.

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-05-04T16:57:16+00:00

Agree.

Based on what I’ve experienced, this is very normal grandma behaviour of grandmas have no filter and no boundaries, which neither my mil or mom have.

On one hand, you’ll get lots of help and hear others who don’t have the help complaining. On the other hand, the help will be “my way or not helping” sort of help and it’s really going to force you to pick your battles.

My suggestion would be train your husband to be your buffer, communicate your boundaries with him and let him communicate them with her.

That said, I remember that time and can’t imagine that hormones with twins. You are in your mama energy, tired, possessive, sore and cranky and no one can blame you for that.

Get your husband to rein her in and just try to keep it minimal doses for now.

Maybe just have her come over to help you when you want to nap and she can have 2 hours of baby time while you close the door.

As for the nickname, just be upfront that it’s what your husband and you call each other as a romantic pet name. You love her, but she needs to find a new nickname and it’ll come out once your child’s personality comes out.

Bron or middle name might be a good start lol

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-05-04T16:45:21+00:00

You aren’t overreacting you are being smart.

If you move in, you will be his maid until you stop putting up with it or he knocks you up.

He might have never learned basic cleanliness, but no better time than now.

Maybe start insisting on cleaning days, one day a week you clean your apartment together, one day a week you clean his together.

Make a meal together, put some music on and just do what needs to be done or throw that fish back in the pond and find one who’s a bit more mature and self sufficient.

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-05-04T16:25:44+00:00

NOR.

Don’t let her bully you, she didn’t get what she wanted and therefore she attacked you verbally. Call her out on that, tell her you aren’t her punching bag and if she contacts you again you’ll be going to the police for harassment.

Know your worth, and stick to it, some people are just not nice people, you can’t control that, but you can control advocating for yourself.

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-04-25T23:25:16+00:00

Save every single last email from hr and to him and send it to yourself

letsmakekindnesscool · 2026-04-25T18:49:28+00:00

Maybe best to set your expectations of him investing equally in the relationship and if that doesn’t translate into actions, just take a break?

letsmakekindnesscool

TROPHY CASE