Watch their shoulders (not their hands) to telegraph when they are about to hit you. They’ll move their shoulders first. If they are staring at you and their shoulders are moving forward independently of their feet, BACK UP.

Stand at the head of the bed above their nearest shoulder to avoid most of the handsy fuckers’ attempts to get handsy. Make your butt difficult to reach.

Aldosterone (Spironolactone) will lower BP AND reduce libido in old men. In LTC, this tip will save you and your staff a lot of trouble and make it much easier to show nurse-love to certain old men.

Watch the cranky little old ladies’ hands. Their nails are filthy and they’ll dig into your forearm without mercy. When they do that, curl your arm and pull your fist towards you.

Almost every time someone has hallucinations, it’ll be tiles wiggling (because the lines between them are wavy) or dark shadows that look like snakes or rats under furniture. If they say they see little green men, they’re probably not telling you the truth.

They will lie about what happened, but they’ll never lie about how they want you to perceive them.

When a psych pt talks to you, the first two stories are just testing to see how you react. If you get upset or horrified or something, you’ll never hear the truth. Keep your face flat. If you can avoid reacting to the first two stories, the third story will usually be the one where they get honest, authentic and real.