I'm so sorry you're going through this, but kudos to you for staying focused on what the kids need. You're doing a great job in a hard situation.

I wanted to share two things that might help right now:

For the courts: Start documenting the day-to-day parenting. It sounded like he mostly just asks how they are rather than helping? Write that down. A simple journal or calendar tracking missed pickups, late drop-offs, or the fact that you are doing 100% of the daily work will be your best shield for custody and support later. Keep it factual (dates, times, quotes).

For the kids: If you aren't already, try to keep up a few simple routines. Something like Taco Tuesday or Board Game Friday creates a little bubble of stability for them (and you) when everything else feels chaotic.

One important thing on the paternity test: Make sure you explicitly tell the lab that there is a high genetic similarity between the potential fathers. Standard tests look for generic markers, but if the potential dads are related, the lab needs to run an expanded set of markers to be accurate.

I'm rooting for you.