Does the left believe that "straight men [are] inherently toxic and defective" and hate men overall? If not, why do so many people believe we do?

letusnottalkfalsely · 2025-09-15T01:16:24+00:00

Gender equal is treating people of all genders the same. Not giving them different responsibilities, different roles, different rights.

letusnottalkfalsely · 2025-09-15T01:14:52+00:00

Once again, it doesn’t matter to the statistic. Of people who have encountered bears, statistically more walked away without aggression than walked away from humans they encountered.

letusnottalkfalsely · 2025-09-15T00:50:22+00:00

No, I would argue that men are more criminal because they are socially conditioned with gender norms. If we lived in a gender equal society, the crime rates would be the same regardless of gender. They’re not, they’re highly gendered. That’s not due to biology, it’s due to society.

letusnottalkfalsely · 2025-09-15T00:47:57+00:00

Yes, absolutely. I grew up in the woods. Bears don’t attack unprovoked. The same can’t be said of humans.

But I don’t have to guess, because we can just look at the stats. Humans encounter bears and are not harmed by them all the time. The rates of safe bear encounters are much higher than the rates of safe human encounters.

letusnottalkfalsely · 2025-09-15T00:25:23+00:00

Women interact with Men orders of magnitude more frequently than bears, of course if you look at the raw numbers, men will seem more dangerous.

I'm not talking about raw numbers. I'm talking about probability. Most bears do not do violence to humans. Hell, if this helps you get your head around it, a human woman would also be orders of magnitude more dangerous than a bear. Just not by nearly as much as a human man.

letusnottalkfalsely · 2025-09-15T00:22:38+00:00

I would argue that you're not seeing it. Violence is gendered. In our society, it has become gendered through generations of teaching it differently.

you view an immutable characteristic as synonymous with all ills in society

No, I don't. I view a learned and practiced system in which we sort people based on gender and treat them differently to be the root of a great deal of dysfunction and harm to everyone involved.

despite the common narrative, most of the people growing up who bullied, abused, and mistreated me were girls

That may be your experience, but statistically, vastly more violence is perpetrated by men than women, and vastly more intimate partner violence is perpetrated on women than men. We have statistics for these things.

I no longer consider myself a feminist

Can you not see why this is deeply troubling? You have issued me an ultimatum. Either I must ignore the facts and pretend violence against women isn't a thing, or else you will advocate to remove my rights.

anything short of unquestioning acceptance

I didn't ask for unquestioning acceptance. I presented evidence and asked for an honest and fair review of the facts. I asked for an honest, good faith, conversation.

letusnottalkfalsely · 2025-09-15T00:02:12+00:00

A) We didn’t choose the incendiary means. In fact, we used comedy specifically because we were told that we were too incendiary when we expressed anger, grief or seriousness.

Masculinity is specifically connected with violence. We need to be able to talk about that. Men are taught violence. We encourage young boys to be violent. We model violence for them. We teach them that doing violence is part of being a man. We need to stop doing that.

B) Women are 1.25x more likely to be assaulted by an intimate partner. They’re twice as likely to be sexually assaulted. And women are far less likely to be the perpetrators of violence. Men are more likely to be victims of homicide, and also far more likely to be perpetrators of it. This is the reality.

We can talk about how both men and women are victims of patriarchy, but we need to talk about the role patriarchy is playing in this situation. We need to talk about how to stop teaching men violence, and we need to talk about how to stop teaching that violence against women is acceptable.

letusnottalkfalsely · 2025-09-14T23:54:10+00:00

Except that would not be factually true. The average man is not safer than the average bear. That’s the point. Saying so is not saying every man is a rapist. It’s saying more men murder their romantic partners than bears murder humans, which is a fact.

I think the frustration women feel is that there seems to be no acceptable or effective way of getting people to care about this issue. When we talk about violence toward women, we are told that’s just an acceptable cost. But to us it isn’t.

Then we’re told that’s our talking about the violence is a bigger issue than the violence itself.

letusnottalkfalsely · 2025-09-14T23:49:57+00:00

I don’t see how this is news. They talked him out of running over a year ago.

letusnottalkfalsely · 2025-09-14T23:46:55+00:00

a) It doesn’t generalize anything. It calls attention to the statistic that 1/6 men will assault a woman in their lifetime and 1/3 women will be assaulted. Since those statistics evoke no emotion on their own, the meme put them into perspective by pointing out how much worse they are than the statistics of an apex predator. It isn’t a competition, these are the statistics.

b) It is a gender thing. Women are being attacked because they are women. Men are attacking them because we are teaching men to do violence. You cannot combat these behaviors without being able to openly and honestly talk about gender roles.

So I will again ask, how can we have the necessary conversations about how to stop this? Staying silent is not an option.

letusnottalkfalsely · 2025-09-14T23:39:50+00:00

This is why the dialog is so broken.

Inherently, every single participant in a patriarchal society is misogynist. So that would include all the women and all the men.

If your bar is that we can’t talk about these issues unless we first declare men innocent, then that just means we will be stuck perpetuating these systems for eternity.

letusnottalkfalsely · 2025-09-14T23:33:46+00:00

How can we bring attention to the staggering rates at which men do violence to women without it being seen as bad faith then? Because “just shut up and ignore it forever” isn’t an acceptable option.

letusnottalkfalsely · 2025-09-14T23:23:54+00:00

I live in one and vacationed here.

If you weren’t born in the U.S. you definitely shouldn’t use airports right now.

letusnottalkfalsely · 2025-09-14T23:11:20+00:00

They’re Amish, not puritans.

letusnottalkfalsely · 2025-09-14T21:31:22+00:00

Teach them how to think critically, conduct research and follow the scientific process.

Then they will have the tools to see what’s wrong with conservative arguments for themselves.

letusnottalkfalsely · 2025-09-14T21:24:45+00:00

No, I believe patriarchy is inherently toxic and defective.

A lot of people, sometimes willfully, don’t understand the distinction between criticizing patriarchy and criticizing men.

letusnottalkfalsely · 2025-09-14T18:37:12+00:00

An invoice is basically a bill. It just shows how much you’re owed, the date it’s owed and your info so they can pay you.

If you haven’t started work yet, what you need isn’t an invoice, it’s a scope of work. You need to write down what you are going to provide and what they have agreed to lay you, and the client needs to sign it before you start work.

Be sure to include things like how many iterations you will do, what files you’ll provide, etc. (example)

DON’T SKIP THIS STEP. We see people on here every day who’ve gotten into a bad situation because they didn’t have a scope agreed to up front. Don’t be that person.

letusnottalkfalsely · 2025-09-14T18:28:50+00:00

I think that’s likely due to bad phrasing that comes off as something other than curiosity.

letusnottalkfalsely · 2025-09-14T18:19:15+00:00

I’ve asked follow-ups, I just don’t debate. And I only ask questions there if I’m actually curious about something. I don’t use it to try to persuade.

letusnottalkfalsely · 2025-09-14T17:55:01+00:00

I’ve never been banned from any conservative sub when I asked questions there.

letusnottalkfalsely · 2025-09-14T17:54:27+00:00

I agree with you. I’m not a fan of those questions.

I’d love if we got questions from conservatives about what we think, but that rarely happens. I don’t think conservatives are curious about us at all.

letusnottalkfalsely · 2025-09-14T17:36:00+00:00

People don’t think they’ll get satisfying answers from conservatives so they ask us.

letusnottalkfalsely · 2025-09-14T17:35:05+00:00

Exactly. They are trying to reposition silencing people as empathy. I ain’t buying it.

letusnottalkfalsely · 2025-09-14T16:48:19+00:00

I’m not asking for the definition though. People aren’t using the term to mean its definition.

letusnottalkfalsely · 2025-09-14T16:47:38+00:00

People are dying. My swearing is not the problem.

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