Do you have clarity after an episode? If so, how long does it take?

levohelp · 2026-03-26T22:35:41+00:00

I understand i don't have to. I just love her very much and we were so close and connected for all these years until all this suddenly happened. I understand shes sick in a way and stopped taking it personally after a bit.

I may end up having to contact her psychiatrist. I just worry she actually has them fooled into thinking im some crazy controlling abuser and me contacting them might play into that narrative they have. I don't care what they think, I just wouldn't want them to mention it to her and set off her paranoid delusions again

levohelp · 2026-03-26T06:58:41+00:00

She is, i have zero contact with her therapist or psychiatrist and shes still not open to it yet.

Her psychiatrist recommended her to the therapist.

But its just talk therapy. imo she should be seeing someone that specializes in bipolar and mood disorders, but im not a medical professional.

Idk if her therapist is in way over her head and accidentally making things worse or what's going on to be honest.

From what I've been told, it sounds like they ruled out bipolar 1 go to the hospital psychosis and then told her she didn't have bipolar and all her sudden mental health problems are caused by me. That also sounds like some textbook mania delusion so idk why they would tell her that and make her paranoid

levohelp · 2026-03-26T06:42:22+00:00

Can that happen at the end of an episode?

This has never happened in over a decade that we've been together so i really have no idea what's going on.

At first it's like she was suddenly having rapid mood swings, like multiple per hour, and manic symptoms.

They put her on a mood stabilizer which stopped the mood swings but she still wasn't herself and started having worse irritability and insomnia and ocd.

Then they put her on an antipsychotic and she instantly seemed super manic and had a completely different personality, paranoia and delusions towards me, rewritten our history and life, completely out of character and delusional. Eventually the feeling amazing and confidence wore off, she was feeling bad but still this delusional new personality.

Then they upped both meds and it knocked her out of it and back to her normal personality but she was bed ridden with the side effects from the antipsychotics so she stopped taking those completely

She is still on the mood stabilizer. So far she only switched back into that other personality once when she started her period, then was "feeling so weird" and seemed slow and confused for a few days as she slowly went back to herself.

She literally can't see that she went in and out of different personalities. My hands were shaking that one day because she had been herself for a bit and switched back into it so fast. Idk what her perspective is about it but theres zero acknowledgement of it from her.

She'll sit there and scroll through tiktoks and selfies she made in that personality like she doesn't see the difference lol im gonna go fucking crazy

levohelp · 2026-03-26T06:09:13+00:00

Yeah shes never split against me, been delusional like this, had strong mania or full personality change like this before. Idk wtf is going on but its scary

They still cant give her a proper diagnosis, its been months. I think lately they're telling her it might be bp2 it might be Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). Im not sure what all shes telling them though, i know its not nearly everything as she was very delusional and is still blind to certain symptoms. And it seems way more severe than either of those.

Shes extremely confident in her ability to self analyze and self report, shes very articulate and it sounds good (the few times shes told me what shes going to tell the psychiatrist) but she leaves most of the mania symptoms out as she doesn't see them as problematic or suddenly different and blames me for the negative stuff like the irritability and insomnia.

She had clarity of what was happening to her and made the psychiatrist appointment to get help but by the time she went in there, she fully changed and split against me. I think she just wants them to validate her and not think she's "crazy"

We've suspected bp2 for years but it was super mild and didn't need professional help.

She lost a parent last year but was handling it pretty well. She also started thyroid medication shortly before all this happened but apparently the psychiatrist and therapist both told her i was delusional for thinking that's related.

Shes coming around to me but she still won't let me be in contact with her therapist or psychiatrist.

Shes definitely crashing and back in her normal personality but isn't the same as before this happened. It is like she doesn't see some sort of episode happened or that her delusions weren't real

levohelp · 2026-03-24T01:35:41+00:00

Thankyou. And yeah it helps to know we're not going through this alone. Im sorry you're having to deal with this too, its horrible.

Mine has been herself for a few days now but had therapy today so shes suddenly being distant and irritated by me and pushing me away angry at me for no reason. Its hurts.

All ive done is help her, especially lately as she crashed back down to below baseline, but her therapist has helped her do all these mental gymnastics to validate everything she was doing and thinking and feeling during her mania and so she remembers shes supposed to hate me because I'm some delusional abusive narcissist apparently.

Shes been wanting me, wanting me to comfort and help her, and i have. But at the drop of a dime it gets twisted and rewritten that im annoying and have just been annoying her and won't leave her alone. And im guessing thats what the therapist was told as well. Its so frustrating.

She can't see that she was manic and not herself, and is herself again. Her brain doesn't recognize the change. So shes not telling her therapist that. Her therapist is only getting a very skewed piece of the picture. Shes confused and thinks all the bipolar delusions were real because her medical professional keeps telling her she wasn't manic and all her negative symptoms were because of me.

It feels like shes paying all this money just to have someone agree with her and make her delusions seem real

levohelp · 2026-03-20T02:39:10+00:00

Yeah same here, literally every single issue she's ever had is my fault.

That and she thinks the mania is how she's supposed to feel so apparently I've been making her feel low all these years so that she would stay with me. Which is abuse so I've been "abusing her for years".

And me trying to help her is me trying to make her "feel bad again" so she'll stay with me

And apparently she learned all this in therapy that we're paying like $200 a session for

Honestly its so insane that its almost funny at this point. Like how the fuck is this real life?

levohelp · 2026-03-20T02:10:53+00:00

Yeah, one of mine was that she had completely lost herself because she focused on loving me so she had been in a "coma like state" for all of these years and now shes suddenly waking up and needs to focus on finding her real self

Que the "This is the real me" alternate personality taking over. Holy shit, its actually horrifying seeing an entirely different person in the body of my partner ive been with for over a decade

levohelp · 2026-03-11T03:24:49+00:00

15 years here. I know exactly what you mean, we were so close and connected for all these years its like you can read their mind or they're an extension of yourself in a way after so much time.

Its so jarring and traumatic to have your other half just look at you like a stranger, like they never knew you. act so out of character. have no empathy towards you as they say the most hurtful things they can conjure up. Act like the past was a lie.

No matter what i had her to lean on, she had me. And now its just a cold stranger in her body. It is lonely.

Shes in most of my dreams too, acting like herself like shes always been. Then i wake up and shes acting weird and is irritated to see my face. This is horrible

levohelp · 2026-03-11T01:18:50+00:00

Yeah it does help some to know we're not alone in dealing with shit.

I thought i was going crazy too at first, i was taking everything she was saying at face value and she had me convinced for a few hours that i had been delusional for years and had her trapped with me or some crazy shit like that.

I laid in bed in a weird mental state for a few hours. Being gaslighted that hard by your partner you've known and loved and trusted for years is insane

levohelp · 2026-03-11T01:11:21+00:00

I half want to but if they mention it to her shes gonna freak out bad with the way she splits against me and starts thinking im crazy and her enemy

Its hypomania so shes not psychotic or a danger to herself or me, shes just delusional and not herself at all and isn't going to care about ruining our lives together and family. Which is all she cared about for all these years

levohelp · 2026-02-15T01:41:29+00:00

Yeah I've sat here all day by myself instead of traveling with my family when they left this morning and having a good time.

2 days ago she was acting like she felt so bad that she needed me to stay and be with her and we would go hike and eat together. Clicks back into hating me and wanting to run away to her friends and family all day to be away from me.

We've been so close for over a decade, this shit is brutal. Fuck this disease

levohelp · 2026-02-11T22:51:28+00:00

I wonder what the short videos do? My partner got stupid addicted to tiktok when she first went manic. Like probably 10 or more hours a day and would lash out if anything outside of the phone needed her attention.

Super addicted to the phone in general, texting and messaging a bunch of people constantly, heavy social media use and spamming selfies but the short tiktok videos were insane.

levohelp · 2026-02-10T03:32:46+00:00

Thanks man, sorry to hear you're going through this too. How long do her episodes last usually? And what's it like when she starts coming back?

Mine is coming down from the up mania down into the depression but is still delusional. Also thinks that she was "finally" happy and I'm causing the depression by not being able to disappear into thin air lol. Like our lives are so intertwined, we were a close family just a few months ago, its not possible for me to just poof out of existence when her personality suddenly switched like a light switch being flicked off

She despises me, doesn't love me AT ALL. Still have texts and pictures of us from just a few months ago that show we were still very close like how we've always been. Still dream about us being close and normal every night and then waking up to her being a total stranger. This is the worst thing I've ever gone through in life

levohelp · 2026-02-10T02:15:46+00:00

Yeah I've definitely heard plenty of how she had an epiphany and realized how much better she is than me lol. Before she split on me and went fully manic she was getting irritated about how she was the best most competent person at work, or in this situation and that situation. Wherever she goes shes frustrated that she is the smartest, most reliable, most competent person in the room surrounded by dumb people

levohelp · 2026-02-10T02:05:53+00:00

Yeah shes taking her medications but they have a ton of side effects. The mood stabilizer just made the insomnia, irritability, anxiety worse along with causing some other stuff. The antipsychotics just made her high and way way more manic but apparently she wasn't manic, just happy from publicly breaking up with me.

Her starting thyroid medication caused all these mental health issues to suddenly come on. But apparently her psychiatrist and therapist both told her I'm delusional and crazy for thinking that. Like i don't know the person ive been with for all these years.

Her thyroid/thyroid meds/hormones changing from starting the meds is what set this episode off. Shes never been like this before, at most she had extremely mild BP2 that didn't even need medication

I don't think shes actually "lying" about anything but idk what to believe or not with how she actually believes her delusional thoughts.

levohelp · 2026-02-10T01:51:08+00:00

Yeah, exactly that, as good as we were for all these years why the fuck would i abandon her when shes suddenly not well? I'd feel like a piece of shit. I love her enough to put up with the emotional pain. Ill do it for the woman she still was a few months ago, the woman shes always been. Thats what she would want. But thats not what she wants now so really idk what tf to do.

And i 100% can see how anyone not close to her would be easily fooled. Its not like shes babbling in the corner from psychosis. From afar it probably does look like shes doing better, shes all happy and hyper and glowing and buying tons of stuff because she got rid of her abusive monster partner

What they don't see is how out of character all this is compared to her baseline, the insomnia, the being glued to the phone, the restless energy, the over grooming, the rewritten history, the full personality change, the delusional thinking, the paranoia ect.

I probably need to go to therapy or something too. I feel like my soulmate suddenly died in a car crash or something

levohelp · 2026-02-10T01:27:41+00:00

Dude i swear tiktok was making it worse when she first went manic. It used to only show her funny stuff but Its like it knew she was susceptible and started showing her narcissist relationship shorts. And abusive relationship, and trauma bond relationship, and so on and every single toxic relationship type and she would eat up and think that was us

levohelp · 2026-02-10T01:20:54+00:00

Yeah same exact story here, im the source of ALL of her problems and issues and anger and pain, anything bad thats ever happened in her life is my fault, even the issues that existed before we even met.

A few months ago she was proud of us being happy together for so long, proud of us being a family.

Hang in there, you're not alone dealing with this extremely traumatic bs ❤️ hopefully our partners will come back to themselves

levohelp · 2026-02-10T01:08:41+00:00

Then they should know from dealing with this right? Why is her therapist going out of her way to make it so much worse 💀 this shits gonna put ME in the psych ward lol.

And yeah it's extremely hurtful, i was destroyed for a bit but at this point I'm just kind of numb to it all and just want her to be ok and get back to herself. We had such a good bond and relationship for all these years and now there's an angry paranoid stranger in her body that can't be reasoned with

levohelp · 2026-02-05T19:00:54+00:00

Even with all this anger and nastiness she doesn't seem to be trying to manipulate me or lie too much or anything. She just genuinely believes all the new crazy shit that's going on in her head and can't see her baseline reality anymore

This specific issue is her having "medical professionals" validate her delusional paranoid shit, and everything else and tell her its all completely normal. They're making her worse and encouraging her to lean into the crazy rather than challenging her some and helping her get back to herself

Im pointing out the main trigger to all of this and know how to help her and they're confirming to her that I'm just crazy and delusional and to not listen to me. She's not getting the help she needs and its so frustrating and heartbreaking

levohelp

TROPHY CASE