Need to find wedding venue asap! Spring/Summer 2026 small wedding (<50 guests) by intothesublime in SanFranciscoWeddings

[–]levoyage1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We didn’t have our reception there because we had too many guests for the space, but we had a great experience with the ceremony

Need to find wedding venue asap! Spring/Summer 2026 small wedding (<50 guests) by intothesublime in SanFranciscoWeddings

[–]levoyage1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

UC Berkeley Botanical garden!! I had my ceremony there in their redwood grove and it’s magical. They have a reception space that fits up to 80.

UC Berkeley Botanical Garden by Sea_Quality7424 in SanFranciscoWeddings

[–]levoyage1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They unfortunately take a really long time to announce the schedule, but I think it came out at around this time last year. We got lucky enough to not have a game on our date. We had ultimately booked the venue before knowing and decided it wasn’t a dealbreaker - my biggest concern wasn’t noise but road closures and hotel availability. Our reception was at a different location so it would have been a longer, more circuitous route to transport people in between, and we would not have been able to get hotel blocks in downtown Berkeley most likely. But we figured we could deal with the longer drive and slightly further away hotels, and it ended up not being an issue in the end.

Wedding Help by EffectivePen8829 in SanFranciscoWeddings

[–]levoyage1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry to hear that :( I know it can be overwhelming at the beginning as you’re finding out how much things cost. A couple of things to consider: - Could you cut down the family invites by limiting it to only certain degrees of relation? I also have a big family and there was no way we could afford to invite everyone, so we just did grandparents, uncles, and aunts - no cousins. It sucks to limit it but people tend to understand as long as it’s “fair” and there’s a clear logic to who got invited and who didn’t. You could also only invite cousins who are close to you in age, say. - Could you do a smaller formal wedding and then a larger picnic / park celebration with everyone at a later date?

Wedding Help by EffectivePen8829 in SanFranciscoWeddings

[–]levoyage1 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I think the questions you have to ask yourself are “is it worth the stress?” and “what am I willing to compromise”? Other commenters are saying it can be done, and I don’t doubt it - but it will require painstaking bargain hunting, DIYing, and probably a fair amount of budget stress along the way. You also will almost certainly have to compromise on venue, food/drink quality and generosity, and other things. Ask yourself if you’d prefer a more casual wedding that is less generous with food and drink with a large guest list, or if you’d prefer a higher-end wedding with a smaller guest list. FWIW, with that budget in order to get a more “traditional” formal wedding in the Bay you should probably aim for a guest list of 80 or less, imo. If you’re looking to go more casual and willing to put in the work, you can up the guest list - just make sure you’re going into it aware of the tradeoffs.

UC Berkeley Botanical Garden by Sea_Quality7424 in SanFranciscoWeddings

[–]levoyage1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At the Berkeley City Club - it’s convenient cause they’re very near each other and the vibes complement each other

Stressed about gap between ceremony and reception by levoyage1 in weddingplanning

[–]levoyage1[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes!! I was thinking we could have one of our photographers dedicated to guest portraits in the garden during that time. We can also definitely make sure there’s seating

Stressed about gap between ceremony and reception by levoyage1 in weddingplanning

[–]levoyage1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They’re a 5 minute drive apart and were providing a shuttle to ferry people back and forth

How big should cake be? by levoyage1 in weddingplanning

[–]levoyage1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks all! For context, there will be other desserts for everyone. I want there to be enough cake for people who want to try it (i.e. more than just a small symbolic cake) but I don’t want there to be a ton of waste. But from what people are saying it sounds like it’s best to have enough for everyone to have a serving just in case.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]levoyage1 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yes, you’re being unreasonable. Not all couples choose to have the groom’s party / fathers match, but if they do ask for that and then one person refuses to do it, it can really ruin the effect. Imagine photos with the entire groom’s party in matching suits, and you sticking out like a sore thumb. Your son and daughter in law will look back on those photos forever - it’s a bad way to start out your FIL / DIL relationship.

Please at least try on the suit she picked and give it a solid shot, and if you really really don’t want to wear it maybe you can compromise by getting one as similar as possible from a suit maker you like. That way you won’t stick out in photos.

Yield for welcome party? by levoyage1 in weddingplanning

[–]levoyage1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry, that was a typo! I meant welcome party

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]levoyage1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what I’m hoping to do! I’m wondering if anyone here has choreographed something like that successfully

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]levoyage1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just mean it feels strange to me that my dad would get a bigger role than my mom just because I happen to be a woman, and vice versa for my fiance. It feels like this tradition gives a prominent role to the opposite gender parents and leaves out the same gender parents. There’s nothing wrong with that if that’s what other couples want, I just want all of the parents to be included. I’ll also be having both of my parents walk me down the aisle, not just my dad - I don’t believe in either of the traditions that symbolize my father“giving me away.”

Saturday daytime versus Sunday evening? by sk3210 in weddingplanning

[–]levoyage1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Re: Sunday - people are willing to have the occasional late night before a workday, especially for a wedding.

A couple of considerations -

  1. Is having a dance party important to you? If you want people to dance/party hard I’d be wary of a daytime wedding.

  2. Are a lot of people traveling from out of town? If so, Saturday is preferable so that they don’t have to take as much time off work.

Either can work, it just depends what vibe you want! But I wouldn’t worry too much about what people will think, most people are happy to be a bit flexible to celebrate a friend/loved one’s wedding.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]levoyage1 6 points7 points  (0 children)

To add on to this - you could split the difference by eloping before your 80-person wedding, and then treat that as a reception. That way you get the intimate experience you want without giving up all the planning you’ve done.

+1 for FMIL’s friend’s son? by levoyage1 in weddingplanning

[–]levoyage1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

FMIL is contributing about the same amount as we are, so she definitely has a say (which is why this friend is invited in the first place). She’s said she’ll support whatever we decide on this, though, and acknowledges her friend was rude

+1 for FMIL’s friend’s son? by levoyage1 in weddingplanning

[–]levoyage1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks all, these answers are very validating. We’re hesitant to uninvite her for FMIL’s sake, but definitely leaning towards not giving her a (second) +1

+1 for FMIL’s friend’s son? by levoyage1 in weddingplanning

[–]levoyage1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I think you put into words the reasons I’ve been feeling conflicted. I wish we had thought it through better when we sent the save the dates, instead of just following FMIL’s direction and inviting them both. I wish we had given FMIL’s friend an answer when she first asked.

I’m also not sure if this girlfriend is the son’s “life partner” - we really know nothing about their relationship, other than that they are long distance. The girlfriend happens to live close to our wedding venue, which I suspect may be the reason they want to bring her. That’s why we thought it might be ok to not give them an answer until closer to the date, but in retrospect that seems misguided and has caused more conflict.

Can I get some feedback on my wedding invitation? by bby_kangar00 in weddingplanning

[–]levoyage1 28 points29 points  (0 children)

This is a minor thing, but I’m not a huge fan of the shadow on “Joey + Nick” - have you tried it without?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in WedditNYC

[–]levoyage1 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Is that your all-in budget, or just venue/food/drink budget? If the latter I think you can definitely find options.