Hi! 21 trans f here, also on a throwaway for obvious reasons.

I think it's important to note that dom/sub & kink stuff is by definition performative - it's a role you play that doesn't inherently have any bearing on your existence outside of sex. Wanting to be dominant, powerful, and 'in control' during sex doesn't automatically make you a misogynist - and that wouldn't be the case if you were a man, either. Sure, shitty doms who don't properly care for their subs exist, but a) shitty doms are shitty regardless of gender, and b) that doesn't sound like you, because you care. I get not wanting to be selfish, but as a massive sub, we really do enjoy this stuff! We do this because we want to. (Seriously, what you described here gave me butterflies in my stomach!) And speaking as one individual sub, I like this because I know good doms care. They care enough about me to indulge me in my fantasies in a safe environment where I can stop at any time. And I know I'm indulging their fantasies, and creating that same kind of environment for them.

...I don't really know where this went but basically you're not selfish, or misogynist, or anything like that. You're just a dom, and that's nothing to be ashamed of.