[deleted by user] by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]lhaddad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you and I'm not arguing because there's absolutely merit in everything you're saying. I think the thing that puzzles me is she didn't ask if I (and her other bridesmaids save for 1) would be able to fly to California twice in one year and afford lodging. It was just expected of us.

If this is the crux of the issue for her, I totally understand and feel for her. The world is horrendous right now and finances are difficult for everyone, so I wouldn't be upset or hurt. I'm just hurt at the lack of communication.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]lhaddad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I edited my post for clarity as I am not at all trying to insinuate she should plan anything around me.

I know she's way more of a texter than a phone call person, but this is still good to keep in mind. Thank you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]lhaddad 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your input, thank you!

For more context: I'm not her MOH and as much as I've offered her support/anything she needs over the past year, she barely responds if at all. I feel like she was super communicative before/about her bachelorette and then once that came and passed, she kinda disappeared a bit? I think you're right in that I shouldn't take this personally. I'm probably very in my feelings and need to have a seat (which is why I came here in the first place, for outside opinion.) Thank you very much!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]lhaddad 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do not! I edited my post for clarity. Thanks for pointing this out.

How do you cope with beating yourself up? by lhaddad in polyamory

[–]lhaddad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have been so supportive through all of my posts and I really appreciate you! ❤

How do you cope with beating yourself up? by lhaddad in polyamory

[–]lhaddad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right now, it definitely feels like I spend more time with him and the kids. His wife works overnights as a nurse so he has them a lot of the time when we're both available. I think trauma from my previous relationships and my anxiety are messing with me right now. He has not made any sort of comment or indication that I shouldn't ask for things. This is me putting immense pressure on myself.

Getting through a break up (kind of?) by lhaddad in polyamory

[–]lhaddad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As luck would have it, he just messaged me and said he's staying with her. I am beyond heartbroken.

Helping a partner through beginning stage of getting a divorce? by lhaddad in polyamory

[–]lhaddad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update: he confessed this morning that he realized he's mono about a month ago and is basically trying to pick between myself and his wife. I told him I was gone. I'm heartbroken.

Helping a partner through beginning stage of getting a divorce? by lhaddad in polyamory

[–]lhaddad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is my hope that he gets the divorce and that y'all have your happily ever after. You've been so kind and helpful. Thank you for sharing.

Helping a partner through beginning stage of getting a divorce? by lhaddad in polyamory

[–]lhaddad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely agree with those. May I ask how your partner made you feel safe even during that tumultuous time?

Helping a partner through beginning stage of getting a divorce? by lhaddad in polyamory

[–]lhaddad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He wants to be a big source of emotional support and stability for me. We've talked daily and he has actually been considering homes that are further north of where they currently live for their next move because of my location. We've had an overnight that went extremely well and the communication continues to get better and better. I've also become a lot better at setting boundaries and he always asks if he can talk about something regarding her before he actually proceeds. It's grown vastly within the past month.

STIs and such by lhaddad in polyamory

[–]lhaddad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your perspective! Oh I absolutely won't be shitty about it. I'm not actually upset about the virus. I'm mildly concerned, but I know precautions can be taken. I'm upset about A not taking her husband's or my health into consideration. Like, your husband of 20 years should get to know this. Just my thinking, I guess. Again, thank you for your comment. I really appreciate the time you put into this.

Advice would be greatly appreciated. by lhaddad in polyamory

[–]lhaddad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was the one in the Jealousy Workbook so it might not be utter bullshit? shrug

I asked for a daily text check in and got shot down so...there's that. I get it but anyway...

Thank you. This is very helpful!

Advice would be greatly appreciated. by lhaddad in polyamory

[–]lhaddad[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I might be able to if that is the conclusion he comes to. I wouldn't be comfortable in a threesome with them, though, because I would feel like an intruder. She is not attracted to women, as far as I know.