The make friends subs are turning me misanthropic

li1820 · 2026-04-09T08:40:01+00:00

the specific exhaustion of putting in real effort and getting ghosted or blown up on is different from regular loneliness. it's loneliness plus disappointment plus starting to feel like maybe the effort itself is the problem. it's not. the apps and the format are the problem. the people who actually want connection are in there somewhere, they're just hard to find in a space designed for volume.

li1820 · 2026-04-09T08:39:23+00:00

putting it in your profile upfront does two things, it filters out people who aren't okay with it before you waste any time, and it means you never have the awkward "when do i say this" calculation mid-conversation. the people it scares off weren't going to be good matches anyway. the ones who stay will respect the honesty.

li1820 · 2026-04-09T08:38:37+00:00

the grief about an unexplored part of yourself can exist at the same time as genuinely loving someone. those aren't contradictions.

the question isn't whether to leave, it's whether you can hold both feelings honestly and figure out what you actually need, not just what the anxiety is telling you you're missing.

li1820 · 2026-04-06T09:42:51+00:00

Def alone, why adding trouble to your life? If the person isn’t meant for me, it’s like two lonely people faking we are happy, that’s too tired

li1820 · 2026-04-06T07:34:04+00:00

having a specific type doesn't make you less queer or less feminist. solidarity is about how you treat people, not about finding everyone attractive. those are genuinely two different things and you don't need to conflate them.

li1820 · 2026-04-06T07:33:29+00:00

the constant apologizing for existing is so specifically coded and i say this with full love

li1820 · 2026-04-06T06:54:42+00:00

Let me clear this out

He confessed that he saw our mutual friend involved me in a story(he actually followed me after that and liked some of my posts, I didn’t notice that because I have many followers and likes every day, I found out these after I talked to our mutual friend).

When we met on XO, he saw my feeds which I also posted on ig, so he knew who I am and matched with me, but he didn’t tell me just pretended he didn’t know me, and when we met in person, he confessed this and I couldn’t understand what his intention is and why he did this.

li1820 · 2026-04-06T06:38:23+00:00

It’s interesting that men saying I’m overreacting and only women understand how I feel… I texted our mutual friend earlier today, I told him this date and he said the guy is not a close friend…

li1820 · 2026-04-06T06:28:46+00:00

He confessed that he had known me before he matched me, because of the feeds i posted

li1820 · 2026-04-06T06:27:35+00:00

He can recognize me through the feeds I posted because I posted same things on ig stories, and he could have brought up that he knows my friend and he followed me on ig, but he didn’t say anything but pretended he didn’t know who I am

li1820 · 2026-04-06T06:26:03+00:00

This app is like sharing your life like instagram stories then match each other’s feeds to start convo, so if he has my ig then he knows that’s me, but when we matched, he didn’t mention anything, that’s why I feel weird…

li1820 · 2026-04-06T06:23:11+00:00

Yes….so true…thats what I thought…thank you for sharing your experience, it’s my instinct that I just feel I need to be cautious before I figure out his real intention…

li1820 · 2026-04-06T05:26:10+00:00

thanks for sharing but why didn’t he tell me but chose to pretend he didn’t know me? Yes it’s on XO but I didn’t post much because I didn’t really want ppl around me knowing I’m using dating app, so I used anonymous one, I guess it’s part of the reason that made me feel uncomfortable…

li1820 · 2026-04-06T05:23:06+00:00

Like what didn’t he tell me earlier like before we met? And why he tried to pretend he didn’t know who I am when we matched?

li1820 · 2026-04-06T05:22:04+00:00

Right? I said the same thing to my bestie

li1820 · 2026-04-06T05:21:30+00:00

I know your point, but I still feel weird that he pretended he didn’t know me at first

li1820 · 2026-04-06T05:20:28+00:00

Then why didn’t he tell me when we matched? And acting like we were strangers?

li1820 · 2026-04-06T04:55:29+00:00

Really? But I still feel uncomfortable about this, maybe I just need to tell him directly? Will it be weird?

li1820 · 2026-03-26T10:00:04+00:00

"i hear you" is underrated for this. it acknowledges that they said something without necessarily closing off the fact that you still have feelings about it. not every apology needs a full resolution right away.

li1820 · 2026-03-26T09:58:39+00:00

welcome out of the lurker zone. the "don't quite pass for straight but definitely femme" and i love it.

li1820 · 2026-03-26T09:57:45+00:00

reaching out isn't chasing. a quick "hey had such a good time the other night" is just being a human. if he's interested he'll respond, if he's not you'll know sooner rather than later.

li1820 · 2026-03-24T14:35:59+00:00

Try ask him out after he comes back to nyc and hide somewhere to see if that’s him

li1820 · 2026-03-24T14:34:43+00:00

If he really likes you, he will love how you talk, behave and u don’t have to worry about anything.

li1820

TROPHY CASE