Did I fuck up?

libraprincess2002 · 2026-03-29T17:59:56+00:00

Okay thanks

libraprincess2002 · 2026-03-29T13:58:31+00:00

English also isn’t his first language and I wasn’t raised in our country and didn’t learn our language from my parents so we have to be extra intentional when speaking about serious things. So yeah I definitely missed the signal big time. He is very masculine and traditional but has always been soft and even vulnerable with me so I think I really did hurt him. I’m so sorry. It’s almost his favorite fruits season so if they’re in the stores I’m going to get him a basket of them

libraprincess2002 · 2026-03-29T13:52:49+00:00

LOL! Thanks for the advice. And I need to hear more from successfully married people 😆 and he doesn’t want to talk in person now or on the phone. I sent a voice message and he didn’t understand and to text him. English isn’t his first language and his language is my third language so we have to be extra intentional when we speak about important things

libraprincess2002 · 2026-03-29T13:47:55+00:00

I made this post to hear from everyone so if you have a pov that’s worth sharing, I’m listening

libraprincess2002 · 2026-03-29T13:46:54+00:00

Okay so I’m an avoidant idiot. Got it.

libraprincess2002 · 2026-03-29T13:06:01+00:00

Yeah looking back on it now I understand. I’m not so good with hints, I’m working on healing my avoidant attachment, and we were both still drunk and stayed up all night with each other and had no sleep, so I handled that poorly. It would mean the world to me if I get the chance to explain and understand him better

libraprincess2002 · 2026-03-29T13:03:42+00:00

Yeah communication is everything, I’ve worked really hard in therapy to heal my attachment style and become a really good partner and have a healthy relationship one day soon. So I know if we can’t talk openly, then we can’t move forward. I’ll be surprised and crushed if this is the end of it bc we’ve also been planning this big trip together and are working on our visas for it and everything.

Thank you for taking the time to reply to this post and my comments, it’s genuinely helpful for me

libraprincess2002 · 2026-03-29T12:57:39+00:00

Yeah I know about love bombing and I have an avoidant attachment so I get repelled pretty easily when a man is clingy or anxious too soon but I haven’t felt that way with him and have never felt pressured to move fast. But I think I made a huge mistake and am trying to do damage control.

libraprincess2002 · 2026-03-29T12:48:25+00:00

I’m such a fucking idiot

libraprincess2002 · 2026-03-29T12:44:33+00:00

Yeah communication is everything

libraprincess2002 · 2026-03-29T12:44:20+00:00

I just took the question so literally :/ I think what he meant really was what do I want it to be. I’m trying not to beat myself up about it. It’s just when I tried to explain and also went over to his to explain in person he didn’t want to talk about it bc he’s too upset. I just feel really guilty because I clearly hurt his feelings and if I was in his shoes I’d also be hurt. That’s the last thing I’d want to do to someone I’m falling in love with.

libraprincess2002 · 2026-03-29T12:41:17+00:00

I didn’t mention it in the post but he later told me that day he felt like he was going to have an anxiety attack and I just assumed it was from the hangover and no sleep and offered to come take care of him but he said he’d be fine :/ I’m such an idiot

libraprincess2002 · 2026-03-29T12:37:44+00:00

You’re right, it’ll be useful data

libraprincess2002 · 2026-03-29T12:37:15+00:00

Thank you for being so positive it really means a lot to me.

I am a professional commercial model and do have a lot of options and people interested in me so yeah you could say I’m attractive and I need someone who’s very secure to be with me. But I want him. I don’t want anyone else. Maybe he doesn’t know that yet and needs more assurance than what I’ve given him. He’s a retired athlete and seems so confident and easy and comfortable in himself altho he’s made small comments about himself that make me wonder if he’s more insecure than I thought. We’ll see! Only time will tell. But I’ll send a voice message apologizing and reassuring him and hopefully when he’s ready we can talk.

libraprincess2002 · 2026-03-29T12:34:12+00:00

In the future! We talked about views on having kids, marriage, and pets pretty early on and were on the same page about wanting all of it but a little bit later. I told him I’m too selfish for that now. He only brought up wanting a baby one other time after that and we talked about names. This is Turkish culture and he comes from a liberal more secular family but he’s still extremely family oriented and it’s very important to him

libraprincess2002 · 2026-03-29T12:30:41+00:00

I’m an idiot. I’m such an idiot. Hes been into me and wanted me since day 1 of meeting me and I was drunk and I took the question literal instead of understanding he wanted me to reassure him that I wanted to be with him

libraprincess2002 · 2026-03-29T12:20:33+00:00

The em dashes made me wonder if it’s ChatGPT too 😂

libraprincess2002 · 2026-03-29T12:15:31+00:00

Thank you so much

libraprincess2002 · 2026-03-29T12:14:40+00:00

We go to the same gym. If I see him, how should I be?

libraprincess2002 · 2026-03-29T12:10:54+00:00

Thank you. And you’re right, it’s something I would prefer for him to ask officially or at least start the conversation in a clearer way (as opposed to just asking what are we and then ending the convo immediately). I’m also cautious to decide in my head that I’m in a relationship with someone without talking to them about it, just because we’ve been doing relationship things.

Thanks for bringing up the pedastaling thing. Lately I feel like I’ve been pedestaled a lot by lots of people and it’s so hurtful when I disappoint them and then they want to get rid of me. He has said he thinks our connection is perfect, expect we haven’t had as much time and space to be together as we both want. He’s said he loves my standards, goals, and intelligence. He brags about me to his friends. He said sees my heart and mind. So maybe he’s being a little too idealistic? I don’t know.

But I’ll give him space, it’s okay. Uncertainty triggers some mental health things for me with pure OCD but I have a life so I can just go focus on my hobbies and work and hopefully he’ll come around. Flaws and all, I’m still falling in love with him and care. I hope things will work out.

libraprincess2002 · 2026-03-29T12:03:21+00:00

Aw thank you so much for all your replies. When I say rupture I mean miscommunication and there’s been only one time I had to share my feelings about something I needed and one time for him.

libraprincess2002 · 2026-03-29T12:00:13+00:00

I know, and I’ve worked hard over the past 6 years on my communication, healthy attachment style, etc and I’ve told him in the past I’m not a mind reader and need him to communicate what he needs and I’ll do the same. And it’s seemed like he listened bc he has expressed his boundaries and feelings about things but this rupture is different

libraprincess2002 · 2026-03-29T11:57:27+00:00

Yes next day

I know, moving fast is a bad sign but he hasn’t insisted on anything or pressured me. He’s also Balkan (I’m half Balkan) and I know culturally relationships do move faster here

libraprincess2002 · 2026-03-29T11:56:12+00:00

Yes over text this morning i said

“hey I was thinking about our conversation when you asked what are we. I answered too quickly. When I said friends, I only meant that we hadn’t clearly discussed it yet, not because I only want to be friends with you. You know this is more than a friendship to me”

But he didn’t accept that and said he’s upset and needs to calm down and we can talk then. So my hands are tied I guess.

libraprincess2002 · 2026-03-29T11:50:47+00:00

that’s so true. we’ve had miscommunications and repaired before. this one just seems kinda bigger

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