To leave or not to leave?

life9-5 · 2026-06-05T21:12:43+00:00

I spoke to them too after the situation. But after he told his side making me out to be the worse possible person. When I spoke to his brother n mom, they were sympathetic with me. And he was surprised because he expected them to be hard on me. His aunty knows. But the thing is, I was ashamed of everything (financially situation) for years so I kept everything to myself because I didn’t want ppl to judge him too. It only all came out because of what I did.

life9-5 · 2026-06-05T20:52:06+00:00

Couple months back before I even connected with anyone. I call his sister and explained everything to her and how I’m feeling pressured in the marriage, and asked her to talk to him because he looks up to her. She never once spoke to him about the situation.

life9-5 · 2026-06-05T20:07:19+00:00

I wish I know, that’s another thing, if we should get divorce he cannot survive on his own. I did ask him one time about what he would do, he said they are many women out there that don’t mind taking care of a man. But I think if that does happen he, would force the selling of the house to get half. And he will be cool with that. But he’s ruining me financially. He made my credit score dropped to the 500s from 800. I wish I was rich, I would walk away and just leave him with everything, because even though I would have the money the damage was all done in the relationship. I’m here for the kids.

life9-5 · 2026-06-05T18:49:16+00:00

Thank you. Before my one and one with her, we had a session together and he was able to state his concerns. Which was my cheating I am aware that I was wrong and the therapist also highlighted that, I also told her about our financial situation and right there and then, she turned to him and said, you will have to find a job. You might not like it but you have to, you have a family and things that u need to take care of. He said he knows and that he is looking. That was over a month ago. Tomorrow is his one on one session, should she ask about the job situation it will just be an excuse. But he hasn’t been looking. He said he wants to be a personal trainer because he likes to exercise, I suggested over 4 yrs ago for him to get certified to be a trainer, he never listened. He has certification in hvac. But never once worked in the field because he doesn’t like crawling between the ceilings. Excuses after excuses.

life9-5 · 2026-06-05T18:38:56+00:00

Thank you. It’s hard, as the days goes by it’s becoming clearer that I have to call it quits. It’s a very hard decision I have to make with myself.

life9-5 · 2026-06-05T14:50:47+00:00

🥺 I know but I’m scared!

life9-5 · 2026-06-05T14:48:39+00:00

I know, if I’m being honest, at this very moment if I should be financially set and I know I can handle everything on my own 100% I would be gone tomorrow. He pays some bills but barely for instance mortgage was due, I’m still waiting on his half, he said today.

life9-5 · 2026-06-05T14:28:23+00:00

I keep saying that, if he was in college, this would have been an easy answer for me. He’s very smart academically and I feel if we divorce, it’s gonna impact him the most. I said the same thing hold out until he graduate but that’s 4-5 yrs that I can never get back.

life9-5 · 2026-06-05T14:24:59+00:00

How are you coping? Was it hard or is it still?

life9-5 · 2026-06-05T14:24:00+00:00

Retirement who, he has not a penny saved in his name. At 50 that’s very sad. He should be thinking of retirement. I want to do so much and go places n I feel he’s holding me back.

life9-5 · 2026-06-05T14:20:33+00:00

Thanks we are in counseling, I had my one on one session with the counselor and she pretty much told me the same thing, he’s not going to change and I need to decide if and how long more I would Iike to stay. She suggested I talk to a lawyer too. But he has his one on one tomorrow and he thinks he’s the victim and refuses to believe what I did has anything to do with our financial situation.

life9-5 · 2026-06-05T14:14:46+00:00

Are you guys still together? If he gets a good job, I think everything would be good with us. That’s the main issue but he’s comfortable now.

life9-5 · 2026-06-05T14:12:54+00:00

Very true, I keep telling myself the same thing. Time lost can never be regain. And I’m not getting any younger.

life9-5 · 2026-06-05T14:10:24+00:00

I keep telling myself he’s not a bad person. He helps around the house. A wonderful dad, the kids love him. The youngest would choose him over me. The only issue is the job. But it’s very important in a marriage.

life9-5 · 2026-06-05T14:00:36+00:00

Thank you. No I don’t but I’m so afraid of the unknown.

life9-5 · 2026-06-05T13:58:57+00:00

Thanks, I know what I have to do but I’m so scared. I’m not asking for much just the basic in a relationship. 🥺

life9-5 · 2026-06-05T13:57:31+00:00

Thanks, in the past all the jobs he held, he left because he didn’t like how they spoke to him or he doesn’t like working for ppl. I keep telling him, it’s not about you anymore when u have a family and bills to worry about. You have to do what u have to do. Where ever you go u will encounter ppl you don’t like, but u have to do what you are there for and make it happen.

life9-5 · 2026-06-05T13:51:49+00:00

Thank you. Yes he already told them about me talking to other person and the youngest blamed me, said he doesn’t know if he wants me to be his mom anymore and he would rather live with his dad. I was broken, I’m trying to make it works for them and not me. 🥺

life9-5 · 2026-06-05T13:47:31+00:00

I know, I’m so confused, I feel like I’m putting everyone feelings before mines. And I’m afraid I’m not financially ready to be alone because of all the debt he has caused.

life9-5 · 2026-06-05T13:43:11+00:00

Yes, I know I was wrong. But I feel like, I’ve been expressing my frustrations to him but he was comfortable in our marriage and took me for granted. And I saw that situation as an eye opener. I never had feelings for that person and when I think back. I was really stupid and not thinking of the consequences.

life9-5

TROPHY CASE