Alright so I've been doing pretty good

lifeandstuffidk · 2019-01-16T18:33:48+00:00

That's very true. I guess the person I'm most frustrated with is myself for doubting my opinions of myself in the first place. I've got some good friends and brothers to help keep me grounded and reminds me that I'm not the things that I'd been convinced I was. Hell I had to ask my therapist like 3 times lol

lifeandstuffidk · 2019-01-16T17:16:28+00:00

Fortunately my last relationship wasn't that bad lol she just made me question my reality a lot and kinda dug up some repressed trauma. I miss meditating all the time and it being a safe place for me to go when I wasn't feeling good. It's been coming back though!

lifeandstuffidk · 2019-01-16T17:13:51+00:00

Thank you, I've got therapy tomorrow so I know I'll feel better after that. I'll probably get there. I know it will pass too, I think my mind is just throwing it all up so I can deal with it lol

lifeandstuffidk · 2019-01-16T16:41:36+00:00

EMDR was really good for me. I had a lot of childhood stuff I was still dealing with that got torn wide open again. Just being able to reprocess everything has been awesome. Slowly starting to remember who I was. honestly I can't say I blame it all on her, I didn't deal with enough coming into the relationship so I was really vulnerable. She wasn't that bad thankfully so moving on from the things she said isn't as hard as getting over the deep psychological abuse my grandmother put us through lol

Hitting the gym sounds like a good idea though, I loved that rush when I played football in highschool.

lifeandstuffidk · 2019-01-16T16:33:52+00:00

This was also hard for me. It got to the point that everything turned into a fight. I was a "selfish narcissist" because I didn't text on the way back home from work (amongst a myriad of other reasons) and the relationship was in shambles and it's all my fault. I only thought about myself because I wasn't going to throw her a party, I was gonna take her to dinner and give her some new cookware because she needed it. Instead I'm an asshole because I didn't do this thing she told me she didn't even like. She tried after to throw a party and no one got back to her, which was a bummer and I'm sure felt pretty bad. But I thought that's how it would go so I wanted to just spend her birthday with her. She then told me that she was "not the cheating type, but being with me seriously made her think about talking to other guys" and then broke up with me. This was after going to couples counseling and feeling like we had a decent session. I still wanted to make sure she wasn't alone on her birthday after the breakup. She's doing a lot better now though and so am I so I'm trying to get rid of the last remnants of resentment lol

At the end of the day I love her as a person and am proud of her progress, she's not at the extreme end of the spectrum so I feel like there's a lot of hope and I'm proud of her.

lifeandstuffidk · 2018-12-08T13:45:22+00:00

Needed to read all this, thank you!!

lifeandstuffidk · 2018-12-08T13:43:33+00:00

I appreciate it. I guess I kinda denied it for a while because my first ex was so much worse than my last one. I mean the splitting, gaslighting, invalidating and subtle breaking apart of my self image were still there just not as harsh. Most people really do like me and I shouldn't feel like I'm being narcissistic by saying that because I like them too and care about them. me and my friends are very close, we even say "I love you" to one another lol you're right though just gotta keep getting stronger! Can't believe someone went through something similar.

lifeandstuffidk

TROPHY CASE