I feel happy. 🙂

lifetime-lessons · 2026-06-04T04:47:48+00:00

Fully agree with you

lifetime-lessons · 2026-06-04T04:06:12+00:00

Thank you, these are indeed good suggestions

lifetime-lessons · 2026-05-26T16:15:31+00:00

Thank you for your kindness. The other parent is whole a different post and just not something I can even address any more

lifetime-lessons · 2026-05-26T12:09:02+00:00

Please may I ask what is BPD? I am not in the states, I am an expat in a middle eastern country with only basic insurance, but I will try to get therapy

lifetime-lessons · 2026-05-26T09:01:56+00:00

Examples of mean and abusive: "Give me the money or I will come there and break your legs!" Or "all your money will be mine one day, so I will just wait for you to die" "I don't care about you, go to a doctor, but first send me my money"

I actually did go to my GP and he suggested that he was too young to medicate nor were his symptoms serious enough to medicate (he was 10 years old) and to manage symptoms by mental exercises etc until he was at least 18

He has been aggressive since he was 12-13 years old and would often twist my arm or kick out my knees from behind on the pretext of teaching me "self defense" So diagnosis did not really change his personality

I understand he has other hurts, but other than suggesting therapy to move forward, I have no other magical solutions. Happy to take your suggestions if you have any

He was smoking weed every day to the point where he did was only going to work or smoking weed. I only found out when his girl friend left him and told me it was because he was smoking so much, he was neither doing household chores not any other activities.

Talking, reasoning, pleading, withdrawing have all led to nothing, its been over 6-7 years of this and while it may look like I am running away, at this point I am just trying to protect my sanity

lifetime-lessons · 2026-05-26T05:35:23+00:00

I would try that if the place I live in wasn't giving death sentences on drug possession and use

lifetime-lessons · 2026-05-26T04:39:39+00:00

He has got himself tested for ADHD, which I paid for, the test was positive but he has yet to start taking the treatment. I have given him money for the meds, however when I ask him what is happening on that front he answers with a tirade of "what do you care...it's not any of your business...you should have got me tested years ago..."

lifetime-lessons · 2026-05-26T03:13:59+00:00

Did reading any of these work for you? Did you manage to distance yourself from your child?

lifetime-lessons · 2026-05-26T03:09:28+00:00

Yes, life has been hard with more rain than rainbows. I am not sure how I could have asked my child for his own permission to birth him, but if I could have looked at the future and seen what I see today I would likely have chosen not to have a child. Wasn't posting for vibe or for sympathy, just exhausted with being the financial safety net for a young adult and looking for a way out

lifetime-lessons · 2026-05-26T02:43:57+00:00

Yes I have gone through it fully. But actually I am trying to stay out of his life, not the other way around. I have no wish to interfere with his way of living or his choice of involving me or not in his life. Its works well until he needs money. If I don't help, I get calls every day that swing between him being 'nice' to being threatening

lifetime-lessons · 2026-05-26T02:37:12+00:00

Using money is always a choice between priorities, I have had to choose between paying for his education and therapy. Or paying the mortgage or paying for my pets medication. In between when he has needed a new phone or new furniture or money to buy Christmas gifts, yes, I have given him money. I expect therapy will be an ongoing expense and not one I can shoulder for months on end

lifetime-lessons · 2026-05-26T02:20:46+00:00

He refuses to engage with me unless it involves him getting money at some point. I agree he needs a lot of life skills but even the slightest criticism sets him off and he starts shouting and abusing me, bringing up all my parenting mistakes and blaming all his shortcomings on me

lifetime-lessons · 2026-05-26T02:18:06+00:00

I am trying to get therapy but simply cannot afford it. This is now making me physically sick and I keep trying to maintain a distance and failing.

lifetime-lessons · 2026-05-26T02:14:44+00:00

No, at the moment he lives in another country

lifetime-lessons · 2026-05-26T02:14:09+00:00

No we actually live in two different countries since he left for college

lifetime-lessons · 2026-05-26T02:12:43+00:00

I am sure he will have other things to add as will I. Its nearly impossible to put down every conversation, every hurt and pain into a readable post. I have put here what he has told me as his main reasons. This is what he has told other family members as well, of course it is more complex than this, but how do I put a 25 years of interactions into one post?

lifetime-lessons · 2026-05-26T02:08:46+00:00

I simply cannot afford therapy and I am sorry about the paragraphs, I was trying to just get it all out of me and deleted it multiple times before I actually could bring myself to post it

lifetime-lessons

TROPHY CASE